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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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19 hours ago, scottsdad said:

For years she has told me and the kids that the cure for a cough is to put vicks vaporub on your the soles of your feet. She does this herself, but we don't because it is weird. 

Now she has started telling friends and workmates that this is what to do. Convinced that this is better than putting it on your chest or under your nose. 

My wife did this with an onion last night as our son had a fever and the beginnings of a cold. F****** stank the room out and had no positive impact whatsoever that I can tell.  Now she has a cold and fever so I hope she has ran out of onions.  

(Of course I took full advantage of the situation to ask if his nose was running and his feel smelling - when he said Yes I told him he was upside down).

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4 hours ago, hk blues said:

My wife did this with an onion last night as our son had a fever and the beginnings of a cold. F****** stank the room out and had no positive impact whatsoever that I can tell.  Now she has a cold and fever so I hope she has ran out of onions.  

Tell her you don't put the Vicks on the onion.

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16 hours ago, The Skelpit Lug said:

Tell her you don't put the Vicks on the onion.

Update - my wife is adamant it worked as my son is fever-free and she now has it instead!

And, she asked how I was and I said fine no worries.  She replied by saying that's because I didn't wear a mask in the taxi and they both did. This was my response -

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11 hours ago, BFTD said:

Can't help feel some of you are missing a trick with this home remedy nonsense.

Sadly, my ex-wife was always too smart to fall for my laryngitis cure.

No way my wife is getting near me with an onion, or indeed any other vegetable.

A nice piece of fruit, on the other hand...

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Lost about two months of my life there looking at sofas. The one we sit on is a bit small for us and the dog (he insists of cuddling up too). Been round countless shops, looked at countless pics online.

Eventually the other night I just moved the furniture around putting the big sofa where the wee sofa was and vice versa. She had always maintained this would not look right. 
 

She was chuffed so now wants a new shower room instead.

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27 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

Lost about two months of my life there looking at sofas. The one we sit on is a bit small for us and the dog (he insists of cuddling up too). Been round countless shops, looked at countless pics online.

Eventually the other night I just moved the furniture around putting the big sofa where the wee sofa was and vice versa. She had always maintained this would not look right. 
 

She was chuffed so now wants a new shower room instead.

I'm not sure moving the furniture around in there will work as well...

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“Needs a podcast on to get to sleep” then dozes off thirty seconds into a really nippy 90 minute episode of Wine and Crime, but if I turn it down or pause it she wakes up and moans. 
 

Breaks the toilet with a Friday night Chinese toalie then either doesn’t flush because she says there’s no point if she’s going back for round two in a few minutes, or if she does flush leaves the lid and bathroom door open so I get a lungful across the house. 
 

Shouts “oh my god that’s terrible” at something on her phone then two seconds later tells me all about it in great detail even if I don’t bite and ask what it is. 
 

Wears my socks to bed and gets them all bobbly. 
 

(I promise I love her dearly and I am happy to be with her 😂)

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1 hour ago, Derry Pele said:

 

Breaks the toilet with a Friday night Chinese toalie then either doesn’t flush because she says there’s no point if she’s going back for round two in a few minutes, or if she does flush leaves the lid and bathroom door open so I get a lungful across the house. 

Jesus f**k.

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9 hours ago, Derry Pele said:

“Needs a podcast on to get to sleep” then dozes off thirty seconds into a really nippy 90 minute episode of Wine and Crime, but if I turn it down or pause it she wakes up and moans. 
 

Breaks the toilet with a Friday night Chinese toalie then either doesn’t flush because she says there’s no point if she’s going back for round two in a few minutes, or if she does flush leaves the lid and bathroom door open so I get a lungful across the house. 
 

Shouts “oh my god that’s terrible” at something on her phone then two seconds later tells me all about it in great detail even if I don’t bite and ask what it is. 
 

Wears my socks to bed and gets them all bobbly. 
 

(I promise I love her dearly and I am happy to be with her 😂)

Sounds like you've got yourself a cracker there, mate. 

 

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Breaks the toilet with a Friday night Chinese toalie then either doesn’t flush because she says there’s no point if she’s going back for round two in a few minutes, or if she does flush leaves the lid and bathroom door open so I get a lungful across the house. 


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