jimbaxters Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 She hardly ever cooks anymore which is no issue normally as we normally don't eat an evening meal and when we do, I quite enjoy doing it. This weekend our boy came to stay so she decided to prepare the dinner beforehand. Her version of cooking now seems to entail me basically being her KP. All the crap jobs which she didn't want to do like chopping onions, de-seeding peppers, peeling & chopping squash and washing everything were left for me as she proceeded to get increasingly stressed at simple stuff. I'll do it next time! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 4 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: She hardly ever cooks anymore which is no issue normally as we normally don't eat an evening meal and when we do, I quite enjoy doing it. This weekend our boy came to stay so she decided to prepare the dinner beforehand. Her version of cooking now seems to entail me basically being her KP. All the crap jobs which she didn't want to do like chopping onions, de-seeding peppers, peeling & chopping squash and washing everything were left for me as she proceeded to get increasingly stressed at simple stuff. I'll do it next time! You don’t normally eat an evening meal?! Do you just have lunch and then wait for the next day’s breakfast? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 5 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said: You don’t normally eat an evening meal?! Do you just have lunch and then wait for the next day’s breakfast? No, we both eat a big lunch at work then just something light when we get home. Seldom anything which takes proper cooking. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 Had a bit of a manic Saturday morning with my wife as we were getting ready to go to a wedding and the person who was going to do her hair and make up accidentally double booked. Lots of running about Aberdeen but things were fine so she went to get a coffee for us. Nice bacon roll and an orange juice for me as I'm sure you were all wondering. We need to go to Tesco as we need to get a bottle of Champagne so we stop off there. On the way she reminds me to bin the bag which we got from the coffee shop with all the rubbish in it which I do on our way in. We get the booze and we're on our way to Drumtochty Castle. Fast forward to yesterday and she's looking for her purse which she is adamant is in the house somewhere. I remind her of the TIle thing that I got for her Christmas last year so she loads it up on her phone. What do you know? It was last seen at Tesco in Aberdeen. Turns out she'd carried her purse out in the bag with the takeaway stuff, passed all the takeaway stuff out and then filled the bag up with rubbish covering the purse. "Did you not think it felt heavy?" she asked me last night, trying to shift the blame on to me. Sorry from now on I'll be sure to go through all rubbish bags on the off chance you've used it as a handbag. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 3 hours ago, jimbaxters said: She hardly ever cooks anymore which is no issue normally as we normally don't eat an evening meal and when we do, I quite enjoy doing it. This weekend our boy came to stay so she decided to prepare the dinner beforehand. Her version of cooking now seems to entail me basically being her KP. All the crap jobs which she didn't want to do like chopping onions, de-seeding peppers, peeling & chopping squash and washing everything were left for me as she proceeded to get increasingly stressed at simple stuff. I'll do it next time! Neither does my wife as she's (a) not fit to stand for any length of time due to her rheumatoid arthritis and (b) she has sjogrens syndrome, which in her case affects her sense of taste and smell, so the smell of cooking food can nearly turn her stomach. However, this Sunday she made the stuffing to complement the chicken, carrots, brocolli and spuds, and it worked a treat between the two of us. 31 minutes ago, The Minertaur said: Had a bit of a manic Saturday morning with my wife as we were getting ready to go to a wedding and the person who was going to do her hair and make up accidentally double booked. Lots of running about Aberdeen but things were fine so she went to get a coffee for us. Nice bacon roll and an orange juice for me as I'm sure you were all wondering. We need to go to Tesco as we need to get a bottle of Champagne so we stop off there. On the way she reminds me to bin the bag which we got from the coffee shop with all the rubbish in it which I do on our way in. We get the booze and we're on our way to Drumtochty Castle. Fast forward to yesterday and she's looking for her purse which she is adamant is in the house somewhere. I remind her of the TIle thing that I got for her Christmas last year so she loads it up on her phone. What do you know? It was last seen at Tesco in Aberdeen. Turns out she'd carried her purse out in the bag with the takeaway stuff, passed all the takeaway stuff out and then filled the bag up with rubbish covering the purse. "Did you not think it felt heavy?" she asked me last night, trying to shift the blame on to me. Sorry from now on I'll be sure to go through all rubbish bags on the off chance you've used it as a handbag. Amazing how they can turn everything round! But did she get her purse back? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 41 minutes ago, The Minertaur said: Had a bit of a manic Saturday morning with my wife as we were getting ready to go to a wedding and the person who was going to do her hair and make up accidentally double booked. Lots of running about Aberdeen but things were fine so she went to get a coffee for us. Nice bacon roll and an orange juice for me as I'm sure you were all wondering. We need to go to Tesco as we need to get a bottle of Champagne so we stop off there. On the way she reminds me to bin the bag which we got from the coffee shop with all the rubbish in it which I do on our way in. We get the booze and we're on our way to Drumtochty Castle. Fast forward to yesterday and she's looking for her purse which she is adamant is in the house somewhere. I remind her of the TIle thing that I got for her Christmas last year so she loads it up on her phone. What do you know? It was last seen at Tesco in Aberdeen. Turns out she'd carried her purse out in the bag with the takeaway stuff, passed all the takeaway stuff out and then filled the bag up with rubbish covering the purse. "Did you not think it felt heavy?" she asked me last night, trying to shift the blame on to me. Sorry from now on I'll be sure to go through all rubbish bags on the off chance you've used it as a handbag. There was probably less rubbish in that bag than her handbag. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 48 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: Amazing how they can turn everything round! But did she get her purse back? Haven't heard anything today but she's out with her sister. I presume it'll be long gone along with the remnants of her tuna panini 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 1 hour ago, The Minertaur said: Had a bit of a manic Saturday morning with my wife as we were getting ready to go to a wedding and the person who was going to do her hair and make up accidentally double booked. Lots of running about Aberdeen but things were fine so she went to get a coffee for us. Nice bacon roll and an orange juice for me as I'm sure you were all wondering. We need to go to Tesco as we need to get a bottle of Champagne so we stop off there. On the way she reminds me to bin the bag which we got from the coffee shop with all the rubbish in it which I do on our way in. We get the booze and we're on our way to Drumtochty Castle. Fast forward to yesterday and she's looking for her purse which she is adamant is in the house somewhere. I remind her of the TIle thing that I got for her Christmas last year so she loads it up on her phone. What do you know? It was last seen at Tesco in Aberdeen. Turns out she'd carried her purse out in the bag with the takeaway stuff, passed all the takeaway stuff out and then filled the bag up with rubbish covering the purse. "Did you not think it felt heavy?" she asked me last night, trying to shift the blame on to me. Sorry from now on I'll be sure to go through all rubbish bags on the off chance you've used it as a handbag. Serves you right for not taking home to sort through for recycling, you filthy animal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 Will definitely be checking to see if the "tuna panini" turns up in the Profanisaurus. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FK1Bairn Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 When women say "can we go to x shop to look for y", why does this mean she has to look at every item in the shop? Today we went to the local Matalan for a hat and scarf for our son going pumpkin picking tomorrow, why the need to look at all the Xmas sh*te? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 7 minutes ago, FK1Bairn said: When women say "can we go to x shop to look for y", why does this mean she has to look at every item in the shop? Today we went to the local Matalan for a hat and scarf for our son going pumpkin picking tomorrow, why the need to look at all the Xmas sh*te? You need to learn women as good as your woman has learned men. She knows if she says "can we go and spend all day at Matalan looking at pointless shite just in case I fancy buying something" you'd have said no. By telling you she's going for a specific item, she's conned you into thinking it'll be a short and timely trip to the shop. As soon as they ask you to take them to any sort of retail outlet, say no. It's a trap. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FK1Bairn Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 6 minutes ago, The Moonster said: You need to learn women as good as your woman has learned men. She knows if she says "can we go and spend all day at Matalan looking at pointless shite just in case I fancy buying something" you'd have said no. By telling you she's going for a specific item, she's conned you into thinking it'll be a short and timely trip to the shop. As soon as they ask you to take them to any sort of retail outlet, say no. It's a trap. You mean they're scheming devious liars? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 2 minutes ago, FK1Bairn said: You mean they're scheming devious liars? *c***s - scheming, devious, liar c***s. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 On 08/10/2021 at 08:31, KnightswoodBear said: I can go out to the shops, get a big shop in, and be home in 45 mins. She will disappear for over 2 hours.* * Away getting pumped, etc. Not guilty here my friend. Even allowing for a decent cuddle after, she'd be back at your door skelly-eyed well within 20 minutes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 On 09/10/2021 at 13:57, sailorcowden said: "I think the bath is backed up and needs plunged" I've just dug out a full heads worth of hair. No idea how A. She can't pull her hair from the drain after a shower. B. How she isn't bald as no human can shed that much I've had long hair for the last decade and I never have this problem as I put a hair-catcher thingy over the plug-hole. The amount of hair that came out when I washed it was insane (and it's why my hair is shoulder length now) so it was a worthwhile investment. Treat yourself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted October 14, 2021 Share Posted October 14, 2021 The Wife: I've booked to have my underarms waxed. Me: OK. The Wife: The appointment is in three weeks' time. Me: OK. The Wife: Means I cannot shave my armpits for the next three weeks. I have to grow it a bit. Me: Spoiler 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted October 14, 2021 Share Posted October 14, 2021 3 minutes ago, scottsdad said: The Wife: I've booked to have my underarms waxed. Me: OK. The Wife: The appointment is in three weeks' time. Me: OK. The Wife: Means I cannot shave my armpits for the next three weeks. I have to grow it a bit. Me: Reveal hidden contents She'll be walking around like a scarecrow for a fortnight. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted October 14, 2021 Share Posted October 14, 2021 (edited) Edited October 14, 2021 by Miguel Sanchez 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted October 14, 2021 Share Posted October 14, 2021 3 hours ago, scottsdad said: The Wife: I've booked to have my underarms waxed. Me: OK. The Wife: The appointment is in three weeks' time. Me: OK. The Wife: Means I cannot shave my armpits for the next three weeks. I have to grow it a bit. Me: Reveal hidden contents Wid tbh. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted October 14, 2021 Share Posted October 14, 2021 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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