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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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Two days in a row - was driving to work this morning and my daughter couldn't find a badge she wears at school. Apparently I knew where it was (in truth I am clueless). So once again I get a call whilst on the motorway demanding that I reveal the secret location of this badge. Very angry call as the kid is upset.

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15 hours ago, Empty It said:

Come home and the Wifi isnt working, spend 10 minutes trying to fix it before she tells me it's been off all day but shes not phoned anyone as shes sure it'll "fix itself at some point".

This is my life.  Street lights not working for days - tap water smells foul - dogs barking - neighbours light sparking (they're away) - power off and so on and on.  Same response each time, no need to call anybody as somebody else will do it.  Nope, they haven't and they won't.  

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She's away to Asda to get a few things.
Asda is about 500 yards from our house.

She's been gone an hour, I doubt I could spend an hour in there if I tried.

She's gonna moan about the weans dinner running late etc now. Guarantee it. She's also phoned me from Asda as I must know what she's forgot to pick up.

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Mrs CB undergoes a strange shutdown come Autumn, as soon as it hits October she will invariably be in her jammies for 6pm and more often than not will want to watch the TV upstairs in bed rather than downstairs with myself and the wean. In the summer she's the exact opposite and will literally sit out the back until stupid o'clock in the evening. She's also taken to wearing her stash of ludicrously chunky knit sweaters and seems resistant to the idea that she's boiling all the time being simply down to the fact that she's dressed like a bloody Eskimo despite it being about 15 degrees weatherwise!! It's like a strange form of tunnel vision of acting like she thinks she needs to seasonally. Bizarre.

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9 minutes ago, cb_diamond said:

Mrs CB undergoes a strange shutdown come Autumn, as soon as it hits October she will invariably be in her jammies for 6pm and more often than not will want to watch the TV upstairs in bed rather than downstairs with myself and the wean. In the summer she's the exact opposite and will literally sit out the back until stupid o'clock in the evening. She's also taken to wearing her stash of ludicrously chunky knit sweaters and seems resistant to the idea that she's boiling all the time being simply down to the fact that she's dressed like a bloody Eskimo despite it being about 15 degrees weatherwise!! It's like a strange form of tunnel vision of acting like she thinks she needs to seasonally. Bizarre.

Sounds like a fucking result tbh! 

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6 minutes ago, JamesP_81 said:

Sounds like a fucking result tbh! 

A fair point, well made 😂

The only downside being that when I eventually go up she'll be watching something dire that she has been binging. I'll then get crap for attempting to find a compromise show. As a result I am currently up to date with most of the plot points of season 7 of desperate housewives....

Edited by cb_diamond
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On 03/10/2021 at 07:34, buchan30 said:

List of the things that make the biggest noise.

500 dB - Mrs B getting up and ready for a dayshift.
230 dB – Sperm whale
180 dB – Rocket launch
120 dB – Fireworks
110 dB – Live gig
100 dB – Night club
97 dB – Fire alarm
94 dB – Lawnmower
88 dB – Heavy traffic
85 dB – Food blender
75 dB – Hoovering

The noise my wife can produce putting cutlery back in the cutlery drawer is incredible. It's like a scrap metal yard

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15 hours ago, Busta Nut said:

She's away to Asda to get a few things.
Asda is about 500 yards from our house.

She's been gone an hour, I doubt I could spend an hour in there if I tried.

She's gonna moan about the weans dinner running late etc now. Guarantee it. She's also phoned me from Asda as I must know what she's forgot to pick up.

I can go out to the shops, get a big shop in, and be home in 45 mins.  She will disappear for over 2 hours.*

 

* Away getting pumped, etc. 

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All our phones/tablets use the same chargers so over the years we have accumulated an abundance of them which means that almost everywhere in the house is within easy reach of a charger.  That is untill Mrs P decides that as she's charging her phone next to the living room couch then that charger must go upstairs with her and get plugged into the socket right next to the charger that is already sitting at her dressing table , which is right next to the one that used to be handily plugged into the kitchen counter socket untill she took it upstairs this morning! 

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Went out at lunchtime. The wife wanted me to drive as she was a bit tired. 

Twice, someone pulled out in front of me, and she leaned over and honked the horn. Surely as driver it's my choice who gets the horn [insert kenneth here].

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1 minute ago, scottsdad said:

Went out at lunchtime. The wife wanted me to drive as she was a bit tired. 

Twice, someone pulled out in front of me, and she leaned over and honked the horn. Surely as driver it's my choice who gets the horn [insert kenneth here].

You're lucky - I'd get shouted at for it being my fault.

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13 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

Went out at lunchtime. The wife wanted me to drive as she was a bit tired. 

Twice, someone pulled out in front of me, and she leaned over and honked the horn. Surely as driver it's my choice who gets the horn [insert kenneth here].

She was obviously hoping some roid-head body builder was driving one of these motors and that an aggressive parp of the horn would get you your head kicked in. 

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Went out at lunchtime. The wife wanted me to drive as she was a bit tired. 
Twice, someone pulled out in front of me, and she leaned over and honked the horn. Surely as driver it's my choice who gets the horn [insert kenneth here].


I’m fairly new to the driving game, having only passed my test last month, but it’s already getting close to the point where I am going to refuse to drive anywhere with my gf in the passenger seat. I end up a total nervous wreck with her panicky nature about literally nothing, and feel as if it is turning me into a shite driver when she’s with me.

Can drive no bother on my own, comfortable on motorways and other busy roads, but as soon as she is with me I fall to pieces because I’m aware of how on edge she is.
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I’m fairly new to the driving game, having only passed my test last month, but it’s already getting close to the point where I am going to refuse to drive anywhere with my gf in the passenger seat. I end up a total nervous wreck with her panicky nature about literally nothing, and feel as if it is turning me into a shite driver when she’s with me.

Can drive no bother on my own, comfortable on motorways and other busy roads, but as soon as she is with me I fall to pieces because I’m aware of how on edge she is.
Mine is the same. If someone pulls out of a junction onto my lane and I obviously have to brake suddenly she'd go "what are you doing", mainly because she's buried in her phone and not paying attention to what's going on. My most recent answer of "trying not to fucking crash" resulted in a 30 minute huff [emoji23]

She also feels the need to continually observe my speed and tell me about totally obvious things that we are approaching. Utterly infuriating behaviour.
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23 minutes ago, Day of the Lords said:

Mine is the same. If someone pulls out of a junction onto my lane and I obviously have to brake suddenly she'd go "what are you doing", mainly because she's buried in her phone and not paying attention to what's going on. My most recent answer of "trying not to fucking crash" resulted in a 30 minute huff emoji23.png

She also feels the need to continually observe my speed and tell me about totally obvious things that we are approaching. Utterly infuriating behaviour.

Try "fucking trying not to fucking crash" the next time - you might get an hours peace out of it...

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