Jump to content

Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


Recommended Posts

Right now I'm on the throne attempting to send a navigational hazard on it's way to the Forth.
She has just banged on the door (a frequent occurrence) with the words "Can you hurry up, I have a hair appointment".
I'm not sure if "You'll have to wait, I'm in the middle of my shite appointment" was the right reply.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

It has got absolutely f**k all to do with anything other than her being a lazy bollix. :lol:

😄Fair enough! Not the first story you've told here that made me wonder but yes, both diagnoses (ASD and lazy AF) are equally valid.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

28 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

What are the 5 or 6 major problems? 

I can only see one, where he recommends going to Slimming World.

Even that isn't a problem, imo. She has repeatedly said she wants to lose a bit of weight, all he has done is be a supportive partner. Her flying off the handle is absolutely befitting of this thread.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, die hard doonhamer said:

Even that isn't a problem, imo. She has repeatedly said she wants to lose a bit of weight, all he has done is be a supportive partner. Her flying off the handle is absolutely befitting of this thread.

Any married man knows it doesn't work like that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Sugar_Army said:

Her: "Why did you not put petrol in my car and check the tyre pressure for going away this weekend?,"

For the same reason I don't check your hairdryer is at the right temperature or you have enough lipstick in your bag. Your stuff, your job 

 

is probably the wrong answer.

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, hk blues said:

I can see at least 5 or 6 major problems in that relatively short post.  

Please tell me this was a one-off?

 

The biggest one being the scam that is slimming world.

My mrs has finally clocked on to how it’s good for short term weight loss but not sustainable one for life.

Our neighbour is constantly going on about going to slimming world 4/5 times and lost a stone but between that putting on more than that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, gav-ffc said:

The biggest one being the scam that is slimming world.

My mrs has finally clocked on to how it’s good for short term weight loss but not sustainable one for life.

Our neighbour is constantly going on about going to slimming world 4/5 times and lost a stone but between that putting on more than that.

I suppose it's great for those who need a kick-start and who don't have enough self-motivation but I can't see why folk would need to stay in it for a long period, once they've mastered the "system" then surely they could fly solo?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did Slimming World one summer with herself to see what occurred. Lost almost four stone in three months. Paid a fiver a week to have someone tell me to keep off bread, beer and full bunner Irn Bru. 

Was worth it for the weigh-in every Thursday when you'd line up and discuss how you thought you'd had a bad week and would be up a pound, only to disappoint the Karen's in the queue behind by dropping half a stone in a week.

Edited by Jimmy Shaker
Link to comment
Share on other sites

We deliberately bought a small set of drawers for the spare bedroom for all of the make up, hair, nail crap that my other half possesses. It all fits in, I've seen in there, quite happily tidied away (by me). Every single day the place is left like an absolute bombsite and I can barely see the carpet. Problem is, I've asked her nicely a hundred times to try and be tidier, only to be met with "well it's my house too, you're not my parents". Doesn't help that I'm a bit of a tidy freak when it suits me, but one day I'm going to throw half of it out and see if she even notices. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

51 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

Right now I'm on the throne attempting to send a navigational hazard on it's way to the Forth.
She has just banged on the door (a frequent occurrence) with the words "Can you hurry up, I have a hair appointment".
I'm not sure if "You'll have to wait, I'm in the middle of my shite appointment" was the right reply.

In future, to speed things up, put your heel on the end of it and stand up real quick.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

35 minutes ago, hk blues said:

I suppose it's great for those who need a kick-start and who don't have enough self-motivation but I can't see why folk would need to stay in it for a long period, once they've mastered the "system" then surely they could fly solo?

It’s more to do with the “free foods” that are usually high in calories but yet can’t have a blended banana as it’s “liquid” But can eat one for “free”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Her and her family cannot work doors at all - they all slam them shut using a straight arm. 

Our front door is one of those where you have to push the handle up to close it properly, and I almost combust every time one of them leaves the house. Here is their procedure:

  1. Open door aggressively without pushing handle all the way down
  2. Slam it shut as hard as you can, making sure that the mechanisms you have left hanging out by not pushing the handle down are damaged as much as possible
  3. Leave without pushing the handle back up, so the door reopens anyway despite the unnecessary slamming.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Steve_Wilkos said:

Her and her family cannot work doors at all - they all slam them shut using a straight arm. 

Our front door is one of those where you have to push the handle up to close it properly, and I almost combust every time one of them leaves the house. Here is their procedure:

  1. Open door aggressively without pushing handle all the way down
  2. Slam it shut as hard as you can, making sure that the mechanisms you have left hanging out by not pushing the handle down are damaged as much as possible
  3. Leave without pushing the handle back up, so the door reopens anyway despite the unnecessary slamming.

I think my first post in this thread was about her inability to work doors properly. In the year since, she's not learned how, and the external door is juuuuuuuuuuust about fucked. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, hk blues said:

I suppose it's great for those who need a kick-start and who don't have enough self-motivation but I can't see why folk would need to stay in it for a long period, once they've mastered the "system" then surely they could fly solo?

I get the impression people don't go to those places for dietary advice, but for the peer pressure. They have nightmares about being outed as having put on a pound in front of a group of other women, knowing they're all thinking, "look at this pathetic, ugly, fat, useless heifer," and it motivates them to starve/purge a bit more.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...