Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[mac.i]

Does anyone else significant other ever remember something incorrectly, but then be utterly convinced they’re right?
Dont get me wrong, usually they’re right as a cliche but the following occurred last night whilst watching Liverpool:
Me: “still can’t believe we stumbled into a Liverpool supporters club in Berlin, that Sunday”
Her: “that was a Saturday”
Me: “nah it was definitely a Sunday” (assuming it being about football, that it would end there)
Her: “nah you’re wrong it was a Saturday cause we’d been to checkpoint Charlie before the game”
Me: “Checkpoint Charlie was the Saturday...look never mind”
2 hours later....
Her: “ah I’ve checked FaceBook and it was the Sunday
Piss boiled. 
 

Mine argued my birthday was a different date.... yes, I was wrong about my own birthday
Ended up having to wave my birth certificate under her nose because she kept on and on.

Apparently going out for dinner with a group of friends we were visiting in Sheffield on the closest Saturday to my actual birthday meant that was the date I was born.

[sugna]

56 minutes ago, mac.i said:

Mine argued my birthday was a different date.... yes, I was wrong about my own birthday

That's similar to the plot of a Sgt Bilko episode, when Bilko finds himself unable to make a losing bet.

[hk blues]

1 hour ago, Tony Ferrino said:

Mine said in front of friends that I'd taken a trolley through the emergency exit at Aldi. f**k knows what she says when I'm not there.

It was Tesco, wasn't it? 

[Monkey Tennis]

3 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

Genuinely she’s wrong 95% of the time. Never once admits it though

Astonishing.

[Honest_Man#1]

1 minute ago, Monkey Tennis said:

Astonishing.

The obsession continues.

[Curmudgeon]

On the earlier subject of answering a different question to the one asked Mrs C is incredibly proficient at this. Here's a couple of recent examples.

Her - I've arranged for the decorator to come round one night next week to have a look at the work we want done.

Me - ok, did you specify which night it would be?

Her - I said to him to make it after 5 o'clock.

And then this today. I was out a walk this morning when she phoned me.

Her - are you near the High Street?

Me - I'm not far away. Do you need something?

Her - can you go in to Boots to pick up a prescription.

Me being the considerate type wondered how soon she needed it - When do you need it for?

Her - they've sent me a text to say that it's ready for collection.

I swear if she went on Mastermind it'd be like a Two Ronnies sketch.

[FK1Bairn]

Our son has the start of a cold. Leaving the house this morning to take him to his football class, she realises we forgot tissues for him and runs back in the house to grab some because "his nose is running like a trooper" 

We genuinely argued over the right word the whole journey there because she's never heard the phrase "running like a river"

 

She also hadn't heard the word nocturnal until the wee man was talking to her about nocturnal animals 6 weeks ago. She's 40

[Robin.Hood]

8 hours ago, FK1Bairn said:

never heard the phrase "running like a river"

I havnt heard this before either. 

[Shandon Par]

1 hour ago, Robin.Hood said:

I havnt heard this before either. 

+1

Nose is streaming

Swear like a trooper

[Shandon Par]

“Had” to repaint a windowsill as the cat managed to scratch it by knocking some stuff over onto it. I stupidly mentioned it was a different type of paint to before and she decided it was much better than what was on there before and has now had me painting all the other windowsills (which are about a metre deep in our place). They were only done about six months ago and it would take Sherlock Holmes to spot the difference between the (six month) old paint finish and the new one.

[Benjamin_Nevis]

On 13/05/2021 at 21:46, Busta Nut said:

Earlier she asked me the time. Same time the wean ran over to me so I picked her up and was playing with her. (Making noises and tickling her etc)

Next thing I hear "JAMES... TIME!?".
 

Mine has asked me this whilst she literally has her phone in her hand. Apparently though having to cease responding to some social media pish for two seconds to check it was simply not possible. 

 

[dysartrovers]

“Had” to repaint a windowsill as the cat managed to scratch it by knocking some stuff over onto it. I stupidly mentioned it was a different type of paint to before and she decided it was much better than what was on there before and has now had me painting all the other windowsills (which are about a metre deep in our place). They were only done about six months ago and it would take Sherlock Holmes to spot the difference between the (six month) old paint finish and the new one.

Only got yourself to blame for even mentioning it

[Shandon Par]

I never learned to just say no.

[coprolite]

1 hour ago, Rasputin said:

“Had” to repaint a windowsill as the cat managed to scratch it by knocking some stuff over onto it. I stupidly mentioned it was a different type of paint to before and she decided it was much better than what was on there before and has now had me painting all the other windowsills (which are about a metre deep in our place). They were only done about six months ago and it would take Sherlock Holmes to spot the difference between the (six month) old paint finish and the new one.

Don't do them then. Say it's that new quick drying paint. 

[coprolite]

Me (whilst putting up new washing line she bought) - "when you measured what length of washing line we'd need, did you include the length of the poles?" 

Her-"measured? They're not different sizes" 

[Hedgecutter]

Deciding to walk in behind you when you're using the splitting axe.

[Bairnardo]

Deciding to walk in behind you when you're using the splitting axe your honour

Ftfy

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

5 hours ago, Rasputin said:

“Had” to repaint a windowsill as the cat managed to scratch it by knocking some stuff over onto it. I stupidly mentioned it was a different type of paint to before and she decided it was much better than what was on there before and has now had me painting all the other windowsills (which are about a metre deep in our place). They were only done about six months ago and it would take Sherlock Holmes to spot the difference between the (six month) old paint finish and the new one.

Lock her out of the room when you're 'painting' have a kip instead then announce, f**k me that dries quickly.

[Shandon Par]

3 minutes ago, Zen Archer Esq. said:

Lock her out of the room when you're 'painting' have a kip instead then announce, f**k me that dries quickly.

I even let slip it takes 4 hours to dry. 

At least I get paid for the place I’m painting today.

 

[RH33]

1 hour ago, Rasputin said:

I even let slip it takes 4 hours to dry. 

At least I get paid for the place I’m painting today.

 

I've used eggshell on the banisters and they need redoing already.