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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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3 minutes ago, Pato said:

When making food of any sort, leaves a bafflingly small amount of the ingredients out. 1/4 of a stock cube, 1/16th of an onion. I'm going to start photographically documenting this.

Mine will use half an onion then put the other half in the fridge for future use. By future use, I mean that I end up throwing it out 4 days later. 

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5 minutes ago, Pato said:

At least with half an onion there is some reasonable use case. What am I supposed to do with a solitary lettuce leaf?

Eat it. 

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11 minutes ago, Pato said:

At least with half an onion there is some reasonable use case. What am I supposed to do with a solitary lettuce leaf?

Adam-and-Eve--Bible-Eden-Nude-Christiani

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18 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

I mean, fucking why? Why oh fucking why.

I do this, but only because it's the shortest child task to sweep it into dustpan and into bin!

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1 minute ago, Chicken Wing said:

He's been in Germany too long. The literal translation of this morning in German is heute morgen - today morning.

The cùnt is typing in German and putting it into google translate!

At least we know he's not Hitler or his name wid be Stellabo, AMARITE

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4 hours ago, Chicken Wing said:

He's been in Germany too long. The literal translation of this morning in German is heute morgen - today morning.

The cùnt is typing in German and putting it into google translate!

How long has he actually been in Germany? I find it utterly bizarre when people do this, and have noticed him doing it a lot. I find it hard to believe that you can go from living in Scotland until say 30, then spend a few years abroad and suddenly lose knowledge of English grammar.

Reeks of being desperate for people to know he lives in Germany for some weird reason.

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53 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

How long has he actually been in Germany? I find it utterly bizarre when people do this, and have noticed him doing it a lot. I find it hard to believe that you can go from living in Scotland until say 30, then spend a few years abroad and suddenly lose knowledge of English grammar.

I'd not have believed it either but, as I said to @KnightswoodBearelsewhere my 19 year old was born on Lovenkrands Sunday in E'burgh.  Her mama is Swedish and, by coincidence, her midwife was also Swedish.

For most of the labour process they chatted in Swedish but when the wee yin was crowning they switched to English as neither could find appropriate Swedish words.

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Mine will use half an onion then put the other half in the fridge for future use. By future use, I mean that I end up throwing it out 4 days later. 
Mine does that with lemons. We have a tree in the back yard with dozens of lemons on it.
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9 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

How long has he actually been in Germany? I find it utterly bizarre when people do this, and have noticed him doing it a lot. I find it hard to believe that you can go from living in Scotland until say 30, then spend a few years abroad and suddenly lose knowledge of English grammar.

Reeks of being desperate for people to know he lives in Germany for some weird reason.

I lived in Germany for 2 years and would catch myself doing this. You’d be surprised at how naturally it happens. A big part of it comes from altering the way you speak English when you’re abroad, a lot of the things we say/the way we say them is confusing to non native speakers. My work was all in English, but I 100% used different grammar. When I’d come back from a visit to Scotland, people would notice the change in my accent and the way I spoke. 

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9 hours ago, The_Kincardine said:

I'd not have believed it either but, as I said to @KnightswoodBearelsewhere my 19 year old was born on Lovenkrands Sunday in E'burgh.  Her mama is Swedish and, by coincidence, her midwife was also Swedish.

For most of the labour process they chatted in Swedish but when the wee yin was crowning they switched to English as neither could find appropriate Swedish words.

Are you talking about the Scottish cup final 2002 as lovenkrands Sunday ? Because the game was on a Saturday 

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My wife hears words and rearranges them to suit whatever thoughts are circulating in her head.

We've got a chicken for dinner. I said "That's quite a big chicken, it's going to take two and a quarter hours to cook." Then I paused, before saying "Maybe two and a half hours." Her reply was "I'd cook it all at once, then separate it into freezer bags and use it as you need it, you couldn't put half a chicken back in the freezer." I asked "What are you talking about?" "Cooking the chicken, you said it was too big." "What?"

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