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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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On 14/04/2021 at 09:44, beesher said:

We have varying ideas of what constitutes barbecue weather.

My wife wants to have one on Saturday with the forecast being 12 degrees and cloudy.  I think this is a mad idea.

Who is wrong?

You. If the suns out, the barbecue's out. Barbecues are great, had 3 so far this year and it's not seen 10 degrees yet

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1 hour ago, deej said:

You. If the suns out, the barbecue's out. Barbecues are great, had 3 so far this year and it's not seen 10 degrees yet

Absolutely fucking correct. Nae rain = Barbecue. If it’s too cold for softies like beesher you can still eat inside just pass the grub in the window. 

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2 minutes ago, Rugster said:

Absolutely fucking correct. Nae rain = Barbecue. If it’s too cold for softies like beesher you can still eat inside just pass the grub in the window. 

Eating outdoors is only a small part of a "barbecue". When folk say have a barbecue thats what they mean, but cooking barbecue food outside is for literally any time of year since its fucking class. 

See also, pizza and hot smoking

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46 minutes ago, Rugster said:

Absolutely fucking correct. Nae rain = Barbecue. If it’s too cold for softies like beesher you can still eat inside just pass the grub in the window. 

 

43 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Eating outdoors is only a small part of a "barbecue". When folk say have a barbecue thats what they mean, but cooking barbecue food outside is for literally any time of year since its fucking class. 

See also, pizza and hot smoking

To be fair we have eaten them indoors, as its been 6/7°C which is a bit chilly for eating. Looking like 11/12° tomorrow so will get the furniture looked out and go baws out with the barbecue, then watch Saints scud Clyde. What a day.

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1 hour ago, Bairnardo said:

Eating outdoors is only a small part of a "barbecue". When folk say have a barbecue thats what they mean, but cooking barbecue food outside is for literally any time of year since its fucking class. 

See also, pizza and hot smoking

I barbecued steaks on Christmas Day.  Then plated up and eaten inside obv. Chucked on a few bananas for a wee while, peeled then sliced over vanilla ice cream and maple syrup. Easier with a gas bbq, but like you say, any time of year.

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18 hours ago, deej said:

 

To be fair we have eaten them indoors, as its been 6/7°C which is a bit chilly for eating. Looking like 11/12° tomorrow so will get the furniture looked out and go baws out with the barbecue, then watch Saints scud Clyde. What a day.

 

17 hours ago, The Skelpit Lug said:

I barbecued steaks on Christmas Day.  Then plated up and eaten inside obv. Chucked on a few bananas for a wee while, peeled then sliced over vanilla ice cream and maple syrup. Easier with a gas bbq, but like you say, any time of year.

We do the opposite because I dislike cooking outside (insects and our cats make it more bother than it's worth) - the wife barbecues inside then we eat it outside. 

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On 15/04/2021 at 08:58, latapythelegend said:

Since we can gather in groups of 6 from 6 households, she has said her parents and brother are coming up on Saturday.  I advise her I am watching the Falkirk game at 12. She cracks up saying I am not sitting in the house when her family are here - as if they are the fucking Windsors. She knew fine well I'd be watching the football yet invites them up because it suits her. Her dad and brother are also Falkirk fans but would never pay for an away stream. 

So now I am to turn the TV unit and point it out the patio doors so we can watch the game whilst sitting distanced in the garden. Absolutely fuming. 

To compound matters, I am no longer allowed to call Mark Durnan and Connor Sammon useless c***s as it will cause offence. 

I've never considered myself to be very rough spoken but this family are a bunch of vanilla c***s. 

How was your Saturday then? :lol: 

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A genuine miracle and a ray of hope for us all...

Mrs. Nosejob has “discovered” that removing cans and yogurt pots from their multipack wrapping before putting them in the cupboard or fridge means they take up less space and are easier to retrieve. 
Sadly, I suspect this is down to her viewing a Facebook life-hack video, rather than my 20 years worth of telling her each week.

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Since we can gather in groups of 6 from 6 households, she has said her parents and brother are coming up on Saturday.  I advise her I am watching the Falkirk game at 12. She cracks up saying I am not sitting in the house when her family are here - as if they are the fucking Windsors. She knew fine well I'd be watching the football yet invites them up because it suits her. Her dad and brother are also Falkirk fans but would never pay for an away stream. 
So now I am to turn the TV unit and point it out the patio doors so we can watch the game whilst sitting distanced in the garden. Absolutely fuming. 
To compound matters, I am no longer allowed to call Mark Durnan and Connor Sammon useless c***s as it will cause offence. 
I've never considered myself to be very rough spoken but this family are a bunch of vanilla c***s. 
 
Sammon was useless at Motherwell but thought he might do a job at Falkirk after stepping down a few divisions - obviously not. The question then is, how far down does he need to go to be of use?
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Sammon was useless at Motherwell but thought he might do a job at Falkirk after stepping down a few divisions - obviously not. The question then is, how far down does he need to go to be of use?
Sammon can be outstanding- all you need is a top class Finnish midfielder to put the ball on a plate for the big plank.
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