Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Ron Aldo]

We have varying ideas of what constitutes barbecue weather.
My wife wants to have one on Saturday with the forecast being 12 degrees and cloudy.  I think this is a mad idea.
Who is wrong?

My other half is the exact same. The slightest hint of dry weather and she suggests a barbecue. Doesn't matter what time of year.

My argument is that barbecues are for the summer months only and since I do the cooking this is one of the few arguments I tend to win.

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 hour ago, RiffRaff said:

I feel your pain.

Every single night the couch must be put back into showroom condition.

I got questioned when she got in today because the cushions on the couch had been moved. I explained I'd sat on it to have my lunch. I have a reminder to sit in my own seat in future.

[latapythelegend]

Since we can gather in groups of 6 from 6 households, she has said her parents and brother are coming up on Saturday.  I advise her I am watching the Falkirk game at 12. She cracks up saying I am not sitting in the house when her family are here - as if they are the fucking Windsors. She knew fine well I'd be watching the football yet invites them up because it suits her. Her dad and brother are also Falkirk fans but would never pay for an away stream. 

So now I am to turn the TV unit and point it out the patio doors so we can watch the game whilst sitting distanced in the garden. Absolutely fuming. 

To compound matters, I am no longer allowed to call Mark Durnan and Connor Sammon useless c***s as it will cause offence. 

I've never considered myself to be very rough spoken but this family are a bunch of vanilla c***s. 

 

[Bairnardo]

Since we can gather in groups of 6 from 6 households, she has said her parents and brother are coming up on Saturday.  I advise her I am watching the Falkirk game at 12. She cracks up saying I am not sitting in the house when her family are here - as if they are the fucking Windsors. She knew fine well I'd be watching the football yet invites them up because it suits her. Her dad and brother are also Falkirk fans but would never pay for an away stream. 
So now I am to turn the TV unit and point it out the patio doors so we can watch the game whilst sitting distanced in the garden. Absolutely fuming. 
To compound matters, I am no longer allowed to call Mark Durnan and Connor Sammon useless c***s as it will cause offence. 
I've never considered myself to be very rough spoken but this family are a bunch of vanilla c***s. 
 

I will defend to the hilt any strangers right to call those two whatever they want.

Your wife is out of line.

[Stellaboz]

I'll defend anyone who wants to call Mark Durnan a c**t. 

[TheScarf]

3 minutes ago, latapythelegend said:

Since we can gather in groups of 6 from 6 households, she has said her parents and brother are coming up on Saturday.  I advise her I am watching the Falkirk game at 12. She cracks up saying I am not sitting in the house when her family are here - as if they are the fucking Windsors. She knew fine well I'd be watching the football yet invites them up because it suits her. Her dad and brother are also Falkirk fans but would never pay for an away stream. 

So now I am to turn the TV unit and point it out the patio doors so we can watch the game whilst sitting distanced in the garden. Absolutely fuming. 

To compound matters, I am no longer allowed to call Mark Durnan and Connor Sammon useless c***s as it will cause offence. 

I've never considered myself to be very rough spoken but this family are a bunch of vanilla c***s. 

 

Oooft.  Get her fucking telt that you're watching the game as planned.  She can re-arrange her parents coming over for 2/3 surely if shes that bothered?

[latapythelegend]

2 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

I will defend to the hilt any strangers right to call those two whatever they want.

Your wife is out of line.

 

1 minute ago, Stellaboz said:

I'll defend anyone who wants to call Mark Durnan a c**t. 

Thanks guys, I'm presenting this in my defence.

[Bairnardo]

Thanks guys, I'm presenting this in my defence.

The defence for after, when she asks why you took a run up and hoofed her in the pie, presumably...

[RH33]

5 minutes ago, TheScarf said:

Oooft.  Get her fucking telt that you're watching the game as planned.  She can re-arrange her parents coming over for 2/3 surely if shes that bothered?

But that then risks the parents wanting watch old Phil being dispatched!

[latapythelegend]

4 minutes ago, TheScarf said:

Oooft.  Get her fucking telt that you're watching the game as planned.  She can re-arrange her parents coming over for 2/3 surely if shes that bothered?

You'd think so but thats not how the female mind works. 

[latapythelegend]

Just now, RH33 said:

But that then risks the parents wanting watch old Phil being dispatched!

Luckily they aren't into the royals. However if that's what it takes to scare them off then I'm looking out a black tie and working on my somber face.

[hk blues]

16 hours ago, bernardblack said:

This 1000000 times this. 

“You’ve not done that right”

I don’t understand how it’s possible to be done incorrectly 

It took me a while to realise that doing it incorrectly was the way forward.  

[Guest bernardblack]

2 hours ago, latapythelegend said:

Since we can gather in groups of 6 from 6 households, she has said her parents and brother are coming up on Saturday.  I advise her I am watching the Falkirk game at 12. She cracks up saying I am not sitting in the house when her family are here - as if they are the fucking Windsors. She knew fine well I'd be watching the football yet invites them up because it suits her. Her dad and brother are also Falkirk fans but would never pay for an away stream. 

So now I am to turn the TV unit and point it out the patio doors so we can watch the game whilst sitting distanced in the garden. Absolutely fuming. 

To compound matters, I am no longer allowed to call Mark Durnan and Connor Sammon useless c***s as it will cause offence. 

I've never considered myself to be very rough spoken but this family are a bunch of vanilla c***s. 

 

“Oh I didn’t realise there was a game on?”....yes dear it’s a Saturday. 

Claim you can’t arrange the telly that way due to a logistical/electrical reason. 

You’ll be inside with a beer and your feet up whilst everyone else is outside. 

 

[Sweet Pete]

Just leave them to it. Sit inside yourself and do you. Done it loads of times. Don't let my failing marriage put you off. That was for reasons other than my selfishness.

[TheScarf]

3 hours ago, latapythelegend said:

You'd think so but thats not how the female mind works. 

I know how the female mind works.  The key is not giving in to them.  They soon get the message.

[coprolite]

1 hour ago, TheScarf said:

I know how the female mind works.  The key is not giving in to them.  They soon get the message.

Delusional 

[die hard doonhamer]

On 14/04/2021 at 09:44, beesher said:

We have varying ideas of what constitutes barbecue weather.

My wife wants to have one on Saturday with the forecast being 12 degrees and cloudy.  I think this is a mad idea.

Who is wrong?

You are wrong, get it fired up.

5 hours ago, latapythelegend said:

Since we can gather in groups of 6 from 6 households, she has said her parents and brother are coming up on Saturday.  I advise her I am watching the Falkirk game at 12. She cracks up saying I am not sitting in the house when her family are here - as if they are the fucking Windsors. She knew fine well I'd be watching the football yet invites them up because it suits her. Her dad and brother are also Falkirk fans but would never pay for an away stream. 

So now I am to turn the TV unit and point it out the patio doors so we can watch the game whilst sitting distanced in the garden. Absolutely fuming. 

To compound matters, I am no longer allowed to call Mark Durnan and Connor Sammon useless c***s as it will cause offence. 

I've never considered myself to be very rough spoken but this family are a bunch of vanilla c***s. 

 

Get that to f**k. Watch the football, if they want to watch then let them join you indoors to do so. Otherwise, sit and ignore them. Happy days.

[101]

22 minutes ago, die hard doonhamer said:

Get that to f**k. Watch the football, if they want to watch then let them join you indoors to do so. Otherwise, sit and ignore them. Happy days.

This except don't invite them to join you citing the covid rules and enjoy the football and your choice language in sweet sweet solitude.

[Jacksgranda]

On 14/04/2021 at 16:26, bernardblack said:

This 1000000 times this. 

“You’ve not done that right”

I don’t understand how it’s possible to be done incorrectly 

Confirmatiom that you're not a woman.

[Rugster]

21 hours ago, TheScarf said:

I know how the female mind works. 

You learn something new every day. I always assumed you were male. There you go.