Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Jacksgranda]

Just now, buchan30 said:

The cynic in me believes that she saves this for anytime that she sees me sat down for 5 minutes.

No, mines is just totally disorganised. How she'd find anything if she lived on her own I don't know.

[Jacksgranda]

She's writing out Christmas cards (for hand delivery round the village). "What do you call him?" "Who?", was my exasperated reply. Turned out she was wanting to know the name of her sister-in-law's husband. Why didn't she start the conversation that way?

(It started off with 3 cards - at my suggestion - the number is now growing by the minute.)

[Jacksgranda]

Now she's lost one of the cards...

[heedthebaa]

Sat for an hour waiting for a delivery for work related stuff. I sent her saying it’s no coming, I’m on way home. She’s fucking turning into @virginton ffs

[Melanius Mullarkey]

17 minutes ago, heedthebaa said:

Sat for an hour waiting for a delivery for work related stuff. I sent her saying it’s no coming, I’m on way home. She’s fucking turning into @virginton ffs

At least she’ll (presumably) get pumped (at some point).

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 hour ago, Jacksgranda said:

You're lucky, we get asked on a regular basis "Where's my keys/phone*/pen/puzzle book/address book etc", items that she's been using in the last 5 minutes.

How she manages to misplace things so often every day is a mystery.

* The amount of times I'm asked "Ring my phone" is ridiculous. Half the time it goes to voice mail anyway.

Young men, note how the lost items change with age. The solid 9 across the room will be looking for her reading glasses and bingo dabber before long.

[Chicken Wing]

She's writing out Christmas cards (for hand delivery round the village). "What do you call him?" "Who?", was my exasperated reply. Turned out she was wanting to know the name of her sister-in-law's husband. Why didn't she start the conversation that way?
(It started off with 3 cards - at my suggestion - the number is now growing by the minute.)

She wanted to know the name of her sister-in-law's husband? Her brother?

[Guest bernardblack]

Sings whatever song is on the radio in the accent of whoever is singing.

[Jacksgranda]

8 minutes ago, Chicken Wing said:

1 hour ago, Jacksgranda said:

She's writing out Christmas cards (for hand delivery round the village). "What do you call him?" "Who?", was my exasperated reply. Turned out she was wanting to know the name of her sister-in-law's husband. Why didn't she start the conversation that way?
(It started off with 3 cards - at my suggestion - the number is now growing by the minute.)

She wanted to know the name of her sister-in-law's husband? Her brother?

No.

 

[spud131]

Whenever I'm making dinner the wife will generally sit on her phone checking Facebook etc, it's not until everything is ready and I'm juggling hot trays out the oven and trying to sort things on the hob at the same time that she'll start telling me some inane fucking story that she could have told me at any point during the day but has decided that this is the best time to tell me it.
Every fucking day!

[Florentine_Pogen]

Whenever I'm making dinner the wife will generally sit on her phone checking Facebook etc, it's not until everything is ready and I'm juggling hot trays out the oven and trying to sort things on the hob at the same time that she'll start telling me some inane fucking story that she could have told me at any point during the day but has decided that this is the best time to tell me it.
Every fucking day!

Does her dinner interruption strategy also extend to the bedchamber / vinegar strokes?

[Empty It]

Whenever I'm making dinner the wife will generally sit on her phone checking Facebook etc, it's not until everything is ready and I'm juggling hot trays out the oven and trying to sort things on the hob at the same time that she'll start telling me some inane fucking story that she could have told me at any point during the day but has decided that this is the best time to tell me it.
Every fucking day!

Then goes in a huff when you're more interested in not burning your hands off than her pointless story?

[spud131]

Then goes in a huff when you're more interested in not burning your hands off than her pointless story?

Absolutely correct!

[strichener]

4 hours ago, Chicken Wing said:

6 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

She's writing out Christmas cards (for hand delivery round the village). "What do you call him?" "Who?", was my exasperated reply. Turned out she was wanting to know the name of her sister-in-law's husband. Why didn't she start the conversation that way?
(It started off with 3 cards - at my suggestion - the number is now growing by the minute.)

She wanted to know the name of her sister-in-law's husband? Her brother?

I'm guessing it is @Jacksgranda's sister.

[Jacksgranda]

7 minutes ago, strichener said:

I'm guessing it is @Jacksgranda's sister.

No, although should I have had a sister a very logical explanation. (It could also have been my brother as an answer.)

(Don't forget my wife was married before.)

Edited December 24, 2020 by Jacksgranda
Update

[Jacksgranda]

6 hours ago, heedthebaa said:

Sat for an hour waiting for a delivery for work related stuff. I sent her saying it’s no coming, I’m on way home. She’s fucking turning into @virginton ffs

Divorce imminent...

[Shandon Par]

45 minutes ago, spud131 said:

1 hour ago, Empty It said:

Then goes in a huff when you're more interested in not burning your hands off than her pointless story?

Absolutely correct!

 

1 hour ago, spud131 said:

Whenever I'm making dinner the wife will generally sit on her phone checking Facebook etc, it's not until everything is ready and I'm juggling hot trays out the oven and trying to sort things on the hob at the same time that she'll start telling me some inane fucking story that she could have told me at any point during the day but has decided that this is the best time to tell me it.
Every fucking day!

Had a similar exchange recently. Making a cooked breakfast and just at the final stage, overseeing grilling, frying, making toast and tea etc and she decides to summon me through to tell me some trivial story. Politely point out that now is not the time and instead get half a day of being told what a monster I am and how selfish I am for not listening to her story. 

[MONKMAN]

Wakes up this morning at 7am, opens to the curtains to see it’s ice and snow outside, then proceeds to open every fucking window in the flat to “air the place out”. 10 minutes later, she complains it’s absolutely freezing, closes the windows and fires the heating on full belt.
Now this happens almost every morning in life and I’ve tried to get a reason for doing so, but it would appear there’s no logical explanation other than her mother does the exact same thing.

[Guest bernardblack]

Her: “right we really need to look at what we’re spending on shopping each month”

Me: “complete agree”

Her: “ooooh there’s a drive thru Costa there let’s go”

[Jimmy Shaker]

Three minutes to midnight. I’m three pint equivalent of Heineken and two mojitos in, and could do with ma scratcher.

‘Can you set up a Zoom call with the family?’

‘For what?’

’For the bells’. 

My last activity of 2020 was sat pissing about on a laptop while she sends messages to people about a fucking Zoom call that no one can be arsed with because everyone just wants their beds, and the first activity was a rerun of May 2020 telling people they’ve got their screen the wrong way round or something on mute, and listening to the wife shouting at the laptop because she doesn’t understand how microphones work.