KnightswoodBear Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Distant Doonhamer said: Who’s being buried in the woods here? The wife, obviously. The daughter can't help it that she shites herself. Edited October 23, 2020 by KnightswoodBear 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distant Doonhamer Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 The wife, obviously. The daughter can't help it that she shites herself. That’s good [emoji106]It may be that your wife can’t help being an arsehole but that doesn’t mean it’s not infuriating. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 Starting to realise why I'm single these days. Those doorhandle danglers were always immediately removed and thrown on the floor. Eventually they stopped reappearing, along with the wife. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mishtergrolsch Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 11 hours ago, MixuFruit said: Brethren. I see your clattery objects and raise you a carrier bag full of rubbish, a nappy bag tied with nappy inside (not my nappy, the wee mans), coats, bags, bags without handles squeezed over the door handle till its punctured and hanging there full of stuff. To be fair its the mother in law who's guilty of this when she's been over but the wife is getting progressively worse. And then I get moaned at when I move these things and put them into their rightful place. Or the passive aggressive "where did that bag go?" "In the bin. It was full of rubbish" "But it wasn't full. its easier to fill that than put each individual thing in the bin" "But its fucking minging and rubbish goes in the bin " Silence Coats hanging over the top corner of the door by the hood so when you walk past they fall off, even if there's been no contact. And of course the pockets are full of keys, her phone and other pish so the sound can be heard anywhere in the house and you get that "what just fell?" shout from wherever the hell she is in the house. Rubbish in the bin, coats on the coat rack, keys on the hook next to the door, please. Like civilised people. And don't get me onto the loading and emptying of the dish washer and the disaster that is the filling of the cupboards and drawers. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'WellDel Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 Keys, she always loses keys. Lost count long ago of the number of new ones which have had to be cut for the house, and there have also been replacements for her car along the way too, before the originals have turned up again in the most ridiculous fucking places. The best one though is that she works from home and has a workshop in the garden for which there are, or should be 5 (five) keys. There have been many occasions when I've been asked "I'm going to lock up for the night, have you seen the cabin key" ? "Which one of your vast array of cabin keys is it you're actually looking for"? "Oh f**k off, never mind I'll find it myself". Aye, you do that while I sit here and enjoy listening to you clattering around and slamming drawers, seething at your own stupidity as well as my lack of fucks given. It usually ends with me letting this carry on for a bit before joining the search and finding it before her and receiving the most grudging thanks possible. Nae bother love, same time again tomorrow? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 We have some ceramic tile panels in the garden. The acid from the mortar has leaked through onto the tiles in one (small)area so I had a couple of goes at cleaning them with no luck. So, we agreed the best plan was to put a larger pot and plant in front - problem solved. Moved things around the garden a bit and got one large enough last night. Got up this morning and she's gone and trimmed the plant so it doesn't cover the stain now. I have no words. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 Just now, hk blues said: We have some ceramic tile panels in the garden. The acid from the mortar has leaked through onto the tiles in one (small)area so I had a couple of goes at cleaning them with no luck. So, we agreed the best plan was to put a larger pot and plant in front - problem solved. Moved things around the garden a bit and got one large enough last night. Got up this morning and she's gone and trimmed the plant so it doesn't cover the stain now. I have no words. Acid from the mortar? Spoiler Alkali m9. Get some acid on it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 12 hours ago, MixuFruit said: Brethren. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Acid from the mortar? Hide contents Alkali m9. Get some acid on it. Cheers - that would explain why I couldn't clean it off! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funky Nosejob Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 “I think our priorities for today are...” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 3 hours ago, mishtergrolsch said: I see your clattery objects and raise you a carrier bag full of rubbish, a nappy bag tied with nappy inside (not my nappy, the wee mans), coats, bags, bags without handles squeezed over the door handle till its punctured and hanging there full of stuff. To be fair its the mother in law who's guilty of this when she's been over but the wife is getting progressively worse. And then I get moaned at when I move these things and put them into their rightful place. Or the passive aggressive "where did that bag go?" "In the bin. It was full of rubbish" "But it wasn't full. its easier to fill that than put each individual thing in the bin" "But its fucking minging and rubbish goes in the bin " Silence Coats hanging over the top corner of the door by the hood so when you walk past they fall off, even if there's been no contact. And of course the pockets are full of keys, her phone and other pish so the sound can be heard anywhere in the house and you get that "what just fell?" shout from wherever the hell she is in the house. Rubbish in the bin, coats on the coat rack, keys on the hook next to the door, please. Like civilised people. And don't get me onto the loading and emptying of the dish washer and the disaster that is the filling of the cupboards and drawers. I see you your <all of that quoted> and raise you a Hannibal lecter mask that hangs from the livingroom door. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 Sits on her arse all week watching antiques and house programmes while i'm working then decides that i should be joining her in a guilt fuelled cleaning and tidying frenzy on saturday morning. I will not be joining. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 That’s the sink emptied. I make that about 23 hours. Are the McWhirters both deid? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 Genuinely worried for mathematics here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 Genuinely worried for mathematics here. Had to swap out the gag due to covid restrictions... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mishtergrolsch Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 3 hours ago, mathematics said: I see you your <all of that quoted> and raise you a Hannibal lecter mask that hangs from the livingroom door. NSFW thread for that kind of kink. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 If my wife liked football and posted here I'd possibly be a contender.Decided that tonight would be the best night to try toddler in a single bed rather than the cot.It's her turn to take him, it's her turn on the monitor for him.. And it's our anniversary.What a present 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 9 hours ago, mishtergrolsch said: I see your clattery objects and raise you a carrier bag full of rubbish, a nappy bag tied with nappy inside (not my nappy, the wee mans), coats, bags, bags without handles squeezed over the door handle till its punctured and hanging there full of stuff. To be fair its the mother in law who's guilty of this when she's been over but the wife is getting progressively worse. And then I get moaned at when I move these things and put them into their rightful place. Or the passive aggressive "where did that bag go?" "In the bin. It was full of rubbish" "But it wasn't full. its easier to fill that than put each individual thing in the bin" "But its fucking minging and rubbish goes in the bin " Silence Coats hanging over the top corner of the door by the hood so when you walk past they fall off, even if there's been no contact. And of course the pockets are full of keys, her phone and other pish so the sound can be heard anywhere in the house and you get that "what just fell?" shout from wherever the hell she is in the house. Rubbish in the bin, coats on the coat rack, keys on the hook next to the door, please. Like civilised people. And don't get me onto the loading and emptying of the dish washer and the disaster that is the filling of the cupboards and drawers. Sounds quite the catch! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theroadlesstravelled Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 Get a coat hook or a coat stand if you’re dapper. A coat hanging over the door would be getting launched into the street on my watch. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonS Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 On 18/10/2020 at 13:29, coprolite said: On a related point, my wife goes nuts if i don't lock the door when we're all in the house just in case some escaped murderer tries to get in. Then she decided once i've locked the door i've to hang the keys in a cupboard so that people can't see them through the letter box and steal them. I don't humour her any more because it encourages her and she was going to come up with something even more mental. Would it help, or make it worse, to point out to her that if a murderer comes to the door with intent to murder, the fact that the door is locked will not, unless you live in a fortress, be any sort of deterrent? "I was going to murder them, but there's a wee Yale locked on a plastic door so that's me gubbed." Also, if you lock your door and remove the keys you're considerably less likely to avoid harm from an intruder than to burn to death behind it in a fire. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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