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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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5 minutes ago, Empty It said:
7 hours ago, heedthebaa said:
Fancy a run tomorrow 
where ?
Dumfries 
nat f**k right off
ahh come on, it’s only 18 miles past Edinburgh 
eh, is it f**k
it is 
where exactly are we talking about ??
sorry Dunfermline 
Riiiiight, what for ?
a blind for the bedroom 
a blind aye
only £35, you’d normally pay £80
plus £40 in diesel so a £5er saved
aye but we get to go over the bridge 
aye go on then
im too soft 

 
 
 

£40 in diesel from Edinburgh to Dunfermline and back? What the f**k type of fuel drinker you driving?

He's thinking of Dumfries - must run in the family. 

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On 15/10/2020 at 11:31, Dons_1988 said:

Assumes that agreeing to football being on the telly gives her carte blanche to talk at me throughout.

Decides to start shopping online for things for me that I don't need with 5 minutes to go against the Czechs last night. I was polite but tried to make it clear that a) I don't need that and b) FFS Scotland are clinging on for dear life here.

Ends up with me in the bad books for not appreciating her efforts.

 

 

Aye same, trying to explain how the nations league works when we’re clinging on against Czech Republic.

Never again, iPad next time.

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3 hours ago, Empty It said:
10 hours ago, heedthebaa said:
Fancy a run tomorrow 
where ?
Dumfries 
nat f**k right off
ahh come on, it’s only 18 miles past Edinburgh 
eh, is it f**k
it is 
where exactly are we talking about ??
sorry Dunfermline 
Riiiiight, what for ?
a blind for the bedroom 
a blind aye
only £35, you’d normally pay £80
plus £40 in diesel so a £5er saved
aye but we get to go over the bridge 
aye go on then
im too soft 

 
 
 

£40 in diesel from Edinburgh to Dunfermline and back? What the f**k type of fuel drinker you driving?

Past Edinburgh, not from Edinburgh 

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10 hours ago, gav-ffc said:

Aye same, trying to explain how the nations league works when we’re clinging on against Czech Republic.

Never again, iPad next time.

I've lost count of the times I've had to explain it to adult men who claim to follow football. At least my wife doesn't even pretend to have a superficial interest.

Edited by Sergeant Wilson
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Her - Don't let me sleep past 7, I want to get up early.

Me - Wake her up at 7 when my alarm goes off.

Her - rolls over and tells me to leave her alone.

Me - gets up, showered and takes the dog for a walk and gets the wee mans breakfast ready. Go up stairs to see if she's up.

Her bleary eyed on her phone in bed - why didn't you wake me up at 7? Its nearly 8 now and I wanted to get up early! Why did you let me sleep?

Bucket of water will be ready for next weekend.

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It was her (our?) due date on Friday and I was taking her to the midwife at 11 am so did a couple hours at work in morning then phoned her when I was on my way back saying I’d be 20 mins. I hadn’t taken a key with me to work as she was going to be in all day and when I got home the front door was locked, when I rang the bell there was no answer and then I tried to phone her mobile and no answer so naturally I was concerned. I ended up going to the back door to look in the house and see if I could see her sprawled our on the floor somewhere but to no avail. I was then driving off to go round to her brothers who lives nearby to pick up a spare key whilst trying not to alarm him too much about the circumstances but as I was on my way out she appeared at the front door saying she didn’t know I was there as she had the hair dryer on. 

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4 minutes ago, throbber said:

It was her (our?) due date on Friday and I was taking her to the midwife at 11 am so did a couple hours at work in morning then phoned her when I was on my way back saying I’d be 20 mins. I hadn’t taken a key with me to work as she was going to be in all day and when I got home the front door was locked, when I rang the bell there was no answer and then I tried to phone her mobile and no answer so naturally I was concerned. I ended up going to the back door to look in the house and see if I could see her sprawled our on the floor somewhere but to no avail. I was then driving off to go round to her brothers who lives nearby to pick up a spare key whilst trying not to alarm him too much about the circumstances but as I was on my way out she appeared at the front door saying she didn’t know I was there as she had the hair dryer on. 

Thats your fault for not taking a key.

My wife will be taking the kids out a walk or whatever and say "you'll be in when I get back so I won't take a key". Why? I don't understand the issue with taking a small metal object out with you in your pocket. What if I'm halfway through a jobby when you get back? Or in the middle of an intense game of fifa?

I'm not meaning to sound like a p***k, but genuinely whats your logic behind not taking a key?

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Thats your fault for not taking a key.
My wife will be taking the kids out a walk or whatever and say "you'll be in when I get back so I won't take a key". Why? I don't understand the issue with taking a small metal object out with you in your pocket. What if I'm halfway through a jobby when you get back? Or in the middle of an intense game of fifa?
I'm not meaning to sound like a p***k, but genuinely whats your logic behind not taking a key?


Could get lost? I never take a key if my gf is in when I plan to go out, what’s the point?
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1 minute ago, Beans on Toast said:

Thats your fault for not taking a key.

My wife will be taking the kids out a walk or whatever and say "you'll be in when I get back so I won't take a key". Why? I don't understand the issue with taking a small metal object out with you in your pocket. What if I'm halfway through a jobby when you get back? Or in the middle of an intense game of fifa?

I'm not meaning to sound like a p***k, but genuinely whats your logic behind not taking a key?

That’s exactly what she says. Theres no logic behind not taking one I just don’t do it when I’m going out for a couple hours and she is going to be in the house anyway. Even when I do take the key I often come back and door is on the snib which is an absolute pain in the dick also.

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3 minutes ago, Adam said:

 


Could get lost? I never take a key if my gf is in when I plan to go out, what’s the point?

 

I always think it’s another thing that could potentially get lost so don’t bother on days she’s not going out anywhere. The fact of matter was I often don’t have my key which she would have known about yet she still didn’t unlock the door despite me phoning her saying I was 20 mins away and she was upstairs drying hair whilst I worried she had fallen into labour on the bedroom floor.

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On 15/10/2020 at 11:31, Dons_1988 said:

Assumes that agreeing to football being on the telly gives her carte blanche to talk at me throughout.

Decides to start shopping online for things for me that I don't need with 5 minutes to go against the Czechs last night. I was polite but tried to make it clear that a) I don't need that and b) FFS Scotland are clinging on for dear life here.

Ends up with me in the bad books for not appreciating her efforts.

 

 

 

That must be the understatement of the year.

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17 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

What if she gets an unexpected call and has to go out? Do you not have pockets? 

There would only be a very few scenarios requiring a 40 week pregnant woman and a 2.5 year old child to have to unexpectedly leave the house that day.

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28 minutes ago, throbber said:

I always think it’s another thing that could potentially get lost so don’t bother on days she’s not going out anywhere. The fact of matter was I often don’t have my key which she would have known about yet she still didn’t unlock the door despite me phoning her saying I was 20 mins away and she was upstairs drying hair whilst I worried she had fallen into labour on the bedroom floor.

I suppose I can understand your situation more. I'm thinking of my own, the wife insists on having the front door locked at all times, as if its unlocked for even a minute some junkie will obviously get in and rob/murder us. I could understand it more when we lived in Dundee, but we live it a nice place now.

Still I'd always take a key. Think its more likely that you'd unexpectedly need it than lose it. Especially as the situation you've highlighted above is a possibility, however slight.

 

Ps. Huge fan of your art.

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1 hour ago, Beans on Toast said:

I suppose I can understand your situation more. I'm thinking of my own, the wife insists on having the front door locked at all times, as if its unlocked for even a minute some junkie will obviously get in and rob/murder us. I could understand it more when we lived in Dundee, but we live it a nice place now.

Still I'd always take a key. Think its more likely that you'd unexpectedly need it than lose it. Especially as the situation you've highlighted above is a possibility, however slight.

 

Ps. Huge fan of your art.

I didn't realise it was unusual to only lock your front door when you went on holiday  until I was in my late teens and it's open 99% of the time.

No doubt Hedgecutter can sell my address to the highest bidder to ransack it.

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What if she gets an unexpected call and has to go out? Do you not have pockets? 


Just leave it open? What are the chances of an opportunist house breaker just trying your door, in the middle of the day?
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