Sergeant Wilson Posted October 12, 2020 Share Posted October 12, 2020 1 minute ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said: He can explain. @Melanius Mullarkey 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 12, 2020 Share Posted October 12, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: He can explain. @Melanius Mullarkey It goes like this. Cooker lights fag lights candle. Pretty much the start of the bible tbf. Edited October 12, 2020 by Melanius Mullarkey 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted October 12, 2020 Share Posted October 12, 2020 3 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: It goes like this. Cooker lights fag lights candle. Pretty much the start of the bible tbf. Does she drive ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academically Deficient Posted October 12, 2020 Share Posted October 12, 2020 3 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: Popped into the shop to buy some bits and pieces whilst in a bit of a rush. Deal was I'd condone this on the condition it was a swift visit. Two secs inside the door: "oh, I forgot to say that it's my auntie's birthday on Thursday, so we need to get something whilst we're here..." Got caught our with that classic the other weekend. Not doing anything so I gave in to the plan to go to EK shopping centre to "take something back". I agreed on the basis that it was one shop and I'd get a wee coffee somewhere. Needless to say, as soon as we parked the fucking car, it was "see while we're here..." All these visits do is generate more stuff to take back. Grrr etc. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 12, 2020 Share Posted October 12, 2020 1 minute ago, Academically Deficient said: Needless to say, as soon as we parked the fucking car, it was "see while we're here..." Get your own back. Get a nice hotel in Strathpeffer and offer to take her there for the weekend. Then once you arrive, tell her "see while we're here, Accies are playing Ross County just down the road this afternoon..." 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 12, 2020 Share Posted October 12, 2020 25 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said: Does she drive ? Does she f**k. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted October 12, 2020 Share Posted October 12, 2020 "I am so shattered" Get to yer bed then. "I think I will..." *2 hours later* "I am so shattered the night" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Tourette Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 I imagine a few can relate to this scenarioHer: “Can you nip to the shop and get me milk and eggs?”Me: “No worries. Is there anything else we need?”Her: “No, that’s it”Me (back with milk and eggs): “Here you go”Her: “Did you get tomatoes?”Me: “No. You didn’t ask for tomatoes”Her: “But we’re out of tomatoes, you must have realised that!”Me: “I asked if you needed anything else and you said no”Her: “But you would have walked past the tomatoes to get to the milk. Did you not think then that we might need tomatoes?”Me: “I wasn’t going shopping. I just went to buy 2 items, like you asked me to”Her: “I should have gone myself” 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 On 10/10/2020 at 23:15, 2lgm said: 21 years married and it’s now a habit that if we are having a lie in on the weekend one of us (generally me) has to get up at work o’clock to open the downstairs blinds so the neighbours think we’re not a pair of lazy b*****ds. What’s wrong with having a lie in and the neighbours knowing? ^^ Not a man. On 11/10/2020 at 15:37, TheScarf said: Her 'All you ever do is sit on your arse watching football or golf'. Me 'And? I've fucking paid for it of course I'm going to watch it'. Her 'Well I like to spend my weekends doing stuff'. Me 'It's pishing rain and there's a pandemic, what the f**k are we going to do like?' ^^^ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 21 years married and it’s now a habit that if we are having a lie in on the weekend one of us (generally me) has to get up at work o’clock to open the downstairs blinds so the neighbours think we’re not a pair of lazy b*****ds. What’s wrong with having a lie in and the neighbours knowing? Thanks to Mr Alli for quoting as this one had passed me by. Think this might be the worst thing I have seen on this thread. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted October 13, 2020 Author Share Posted October 13, 2020 10 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: Get your own back. Get a nice hotel in Strathpeffer and offer to take her there for the weekend. Then once you arrive, tell her "see while we're here, Accies are playing Ross County just down the road this afternoon..." I did this very thing with a wedding gift we got for a weekend away on the date of our choice in a hotel in Castle Douglas. I booked it so that it coincided with The Dee playing QOS in Dumfries that Saturday. Tbf she thoroughly enjoyed it but was irrationally terrified of the Dundee lassies in the pub beforehand and it obviously showed as one came over and asked if she was OK. I don't know if she'd been watching The Firm or Green Street or something beforehand but she was waiting for it to kick off at any minute 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 LBC would batter shite out of Danny and Charlie. Probably shag them, too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 It goes like this. Cooker lights fag lights candle. Pretty much the start of the bible tbf.Indesit 3:1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 2 hours ago, Dee Man said: I did this very thing with a wedding gift we got for a weekend away on the date of our choice in a hotel in Castle Douglas. I booked it so that it coincided with The Dee playing QOS in Dumfries that Saturday. Tbf she thoroughly enjoyed it but was irrationally terrified of the Dundee lassies in the pub beforehand and it obviously showed as one came over and asked if she was OK. I don't know if she'd been watching The Firm or Green Street or something beforehand but she was waiting for it to kick off at any minute Same here. We went to the Peebles Hydro and ended watching a game at Hawick Royal Albert. A different level of class from Palmerston, I’m sure you’ll agree. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bernardblack Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 I imagine a few can relate to this scenarioHer: “Can you nip to the shop and get me milk and eggs?”Me: “No worries. Is there anything else we need?”Her: “No, that’s it”Me (back with milk and eggs): “Here you go”Her: “Did you get tomatoes?”Me: “No. You didn’t ask for tomatoes”Her: “But we’re out of tomatoes, you must have realised that!”Me: “I asked if you needed anything else and you said no”Her: “But you would have walked past the tomatoes to get to the milk. Did you not think then that we might need tomatoes?”Me: “I wasn’t going shopping. I just went to buy 2 items, like you asked me to”Her: “I should have gone myself”That’s mental. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 Aye she needs fucking telt there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted October 13, 2020 Author Share Posted October 13, 2020 On 12/10/2020 at 01:45, philpy said: We'll sit and have a meal at the table, but when she finishes she just walks away and leaves the plates and glasses for me to take through and goes and sits and watches TV. 4 hours ago, Mr Tourette said: I imagine a few can relate to this scenario Her: “Can you nip to the shop and get me milk and eggs?” Me: “No worries. Is there anything else we need?” Her: “No, that’s it” Me (back with milk and eggs): “Here you go” Her: “Did you get tomatoes?” Me: “No. You didn’t ask for tomatoes” Her: “But we’re out of tomatoes, you must have realised that!” Me: “I asked if you needed anything else and you said no” Her: “But you would have walked past the tomatoes to get to the milk. Did you not think then that we might need tomatoes?” Me: “I wasn’t going shopping. I just went to buy 2 items, like you asked me to” Her: “I should have gone myself” On 11/10/2020 at 06:15, 2lgm said: 21 years married and it’s now a habit that if we are having a lie in on the weekend one of us (generally me) has to get up at work o’clock to open the downstairs blinds so the neighbours think we’re not a pair of lazy b*****ds. What’s wrong with having a lie in and the neighbours knowing? 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithie Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 This started relatvely sweet and innocent but it now really gets on my tits even though it's rather petty when I've read it written down. My wife has been driving for a number of years now but will, without fail, phone me upon returning from literally anywhere she's been - shops/work/her maws etc - even if it's only a 2 minute car journey away. This started not long after she had passed her test and wanted someone to speak with to keep her at ease when driving alone. Not in a 'you're doing great darling, only 2 miles to go, you can do it, remember to indicate and get in the right lane' type thing but just a general blether. Kinda thought it would pass over time but 4 years later it still happens. I can set my watch to it when she's finished work to when I'll expect the phone to go off. Driving home in adverse weather or at night time usually means I get a pre-warning ahead of her journey that she'll call on her way home. I don't think there's been many situations where she's phoned and I've been bored twiddling my thumbs where listening to her harp on about her work colleagues gripes about poor mangement has seemed mildly interesting. Invariably the phone goes when I'm busy. What's mental is this only happens on route home and not on route to wherever she's going. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted October 13, 2020 Author Share Posted October 13, 2020 Apparently they don't even need to be your partner for women to pull their shite. I'm friends with a girl at work and we're arranging to go a run on our motorbikes: Her: What time do you want to meet up? Me: 1130 Her: 11am FFS. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 Honestly the work chat about colleagues, and general tasks they’ve had to do that day, is fucking brutal. I will never understand the enjoyment they seem to get out of talking about work, or some random colleague, for ages after they’ve actually finished work. Always riles her as well when she asks about my work and I say “fine”. Actually annoys her that I don’t want to spend my precious free time recounting the boring day I’ve had at work. Baffling. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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