Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Distant Doonhamer]

 

I thought so. Glad to see you in agreement [emoji6]

[Boo Khaki]

Me - "Do you want to stay for dinner tonight?"

Her - "Only if you want me to?"

Me - "I wouldn't have asked if I wanted you to bugger off and give me peace"

Her - "Ok"

Me - "What would you like to eat? I'm cooking, but I'm happy to cook anything you fancy'

Her - "I don't know, just whatever is easy for you to cook"

Me - "FFS, I told you I'm happy to cook anything, what do you fancy?"

Her - "Just anything"

Me - "Ok then, Pasta and Meatballs"

Her - "No, not Pasta and Meatballs"

Me (seconds away from telling her to just f**k off up the road) "...eh?"

 

Every bloody mealtime its the same. We end up eating a ridiculous number of takeaways because she can never, ever decide what she wants cooked for her.

[Stellaboz]

Next time cook something without asking her what she wants ffs.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

41 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

Next time cook something without asking her what she wants ffs.

I would go with the “f**k off up the road” option.

 

[Theroadlesstravelled]

8 hours ago, Boo Khaki said:

Me - "Do you want to stay for dinner tonight?"

Her - "Only if you want me to?"

Me - "I wouldn't have asked if I wanted you to bugger off and give me peace"

Her - "Ok"

Me - "What would you like to eat? I'm cooking, but I'm happy to cook anything you fancy'

Her - "I don't know, just whatever is easy for you to cook"

Me - "FFS, I told you I'm happy to cook anything, what do you fancy?"

Her - "Just anything"

Me - "Ok then, Pasta and Meatballs"

Her - "No, not Pasta and Meatballs"

Me (seconds away from telling her to just f**k off up the road) "...eh?"

 

Every bloody mealtime its the same. We end up eating a ridiculous number of takeaways because she can never, ever decide what she wants cooked for her.

Sounds like she wants a knuckle sandwich.

 

[Jacksgranda]

9 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

A proper P&B wife would have them all filled with mugshots of serial killers pictures of her first husband.

 

[deej]

She's put flowers on the windowsill.

 

Guess who's fault it is that they get knocked by the curtains

[DA Baracus]

3 hours ago, Theroadlesstravelled said:

Sounds like she wants a knuckle sandwich.

 

[Jimmy Shaker]

20 hours ago, Todd_is_God said:

Has had about 3 things on her "to-do" list since March, and has done nothing about them.

Now because a couple of friends are coming round in less than 48 hours she's decided to tidy the already tidy parts of the house and try and do all of them at once, whilst also working from home.

The net result is that there is now more mess than before, and it's somehow my fault the new picture frame for the living room she bought has 3 more spaces than the old one, meaning there aren't enough pictures to fill it.

Nothing gets this house cleaner than a text from her best mate/mother/sister saying they're coming round in the afternoon. I recall the day I got paid off from work barely a year into the mortgage and she was absolutely at calm throughout the following month, stressing that 'something will come up' and it's not worth worrying about, but give her two hours notice that another woman is coming to the house? Fucking hell, the noise. 

[Todd_is_God]

Update:

The picture frame turned out to be cheap shite and the pictures wouldn't stay put.

Now there's a big stupid space on the wall and, again, I'm the one getting moaned at

[The Moonster]

On 03/08/2020 at 23:07, Theroadlesstravelled said:

She went through a stage where she didn't want to watch any TV show with any hot chicks in them knowing I wouldn't watch them myself.

She stopped watching the 2nd season of Tell Me a Story cause it had wall to wall beauties.

Does she make you wear a t-shirt with her face on it when you go out with your mates so that other lassies know that you are her property?

I mean no disrespect, but I'd be running a mile from any lassie who stopped me watching things because she didn't want me looking at other women.

[hk blues]

9 minutes ago, Todd_is_God said:

Update:

The picture frame turned out to be cheap shite and the pictures wouldn't stay put.

Now there's a big stupid space on the wall and, again, I'm the one getting moaned at

Could be worse - she might have asked you to redecorate the room as the empty space is a different shade to the rest now. 

[Todd_is_God]

5 minutes ago, hk blues said:

Could be worse - she might have asked you to redecorate the room as the empty space is a different shade to the rest now. 

Thankfully the room was painted less than a year ago so no such issue!

[JoseMarooniho]

This has happened on a number of occasions in casual conversation:
Me: Do you know what a (insert the thing) is?
Her: What is it?
Me (after a google): It’s (details of the thing)?
Her: Oh I knew that.

[Shandon Par]

Last weekend was external window sills. This is today’s “to do” list. She won’t just move in to a place and allow it to take shape over time. Has to be painted top to bottom before she’ll set foot in a new place.

Got all the ceilings and woodwork to do too. And work about 12 hours a day on top of that. Lucky I’m some sort of vampire that can live on caffeine and no sleep. 

[Jimmy Shaker]

She wants to garden. She likes gardening, until A - the point she starts hauling weeds out, and B - she realises I'm sat inside watching a combination of cricket, snooker, football, and cars going round in circles. 

Currently sitting waiting on the first of several Fake Jobs she's thinking up to come my way.  

[madwullie]

Just heard the wife say "Alexa, play songs by Ed Sheeran." Guaranteed she's going to walk into a door again tonight

[mizfit]

Currently my girlfriend is the only one out of her friends group who is not engaged.

Take a wild guess what she’s been constantly talking about for the last week after her first meet-up with them all since lockdown?

One of my pals got engaged this afternoon. He called me to let me know.

Since I told my girlfriend she’s been storming about in a mood and sighing repeatedly.

If I go missing please tell the police to bring her in for questioning.

[philpy]

She got a new phone yesterday.  She's now discovered that she can connect it to the TV.  The joys. 

[Bairnardo]

She got a new phone yesterday.  She's now discovered that she can connect it to the TV.  The joys. 

Class when instead of insisting on showing you that stupid video her works loudmouth sent her, she can cast it straight over the football instead. Hard lines.