Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Busta Nut]

I can f**k about on my laptop and still watch a TV show/Film/Whatever. I miss nothing or at least very little.

Not her, phone picked up misses half the story/jokes and asks what happened or has zero reaction to a plot twist or something.

[Jacksgranda]

9 hours ago, heedthebaa said:

Don’t mind the prepping part of a Sunday dinner, peeling, scraping, carving, chopping etc, it’s the timing of it I hate

That's the awkward bit. And the most important!

[whiskychimp]

9 hours ago, Tartantony said:

My mates find it really strange that me and the wife share our money. I've never once considered money to be mine or hers and especially hate the idea of owing each other money.

My mates all have joint accounts that both contribute into for the bills then keep whatever they have left over for themselves and often hear them say so and so owes me £500 for this or that. Mental behaviour imo

We're buying our first place together. My share of the deposit is a vast sum of money. Do you think she should get half if we split? ( I know that reads as a challenge but it's just a question)

[JamesP_81]

We're buying our first place together. My share of the deposit is a vast sum of money. Do you think she should get half if we split? ( I know that reads as a challenge but it's just a question)

Depends on the situation really but if you're entering into something major like buying a house together and keeping tabs on what % each is contributing then it sounds pretty much doomed from the offset.

[SilverWolfe]

We're buying our first place together. My share of the deposit is a vast sum of money. Do you think she should get half if we split? ( I know that reads as a challenge but it's just a question)

Yeah, personally I think she should get half. I just can't understand couples having seperate money at all.

[Jambomo]

1 hour ago, whiskychimp said:

We're buying our first place together. My share of the deposit is a vast sum of money. Do you think she should get half if we split? ( I know that reads as a challenge but it's just a question)

Thats a tricky one because even though you may pay more initially for the deposit, if you both pay the mortgage equally then it would be fair to say that approx equal split would be expected. If you pay more in general (i.e more deposit & mortgage) then I would say she shouldn't get half, you should get a proportion of what each paid in.

I think there is a bit of a generation gap. My boyfriend and I have lived together for nearly 12 years and have always had seperate accounts and did what we want with our own money. We pay half for everything (though payments usually go from my account and he gives me the money back). If either of us is a bit skint one month then we'll lend the other money but we do keep a tab of it and give it back on payday.

I certainly wouldn't give him my wage to control nor would I want him to do the same, I think it stems from having a previous relationship that was abusive - you have to retain some independence so you can stay/remain in the relationship as you want to, not because you need to or can't do otherwise.

 

[hk blues]

1 minute ago, Jambomo said:

 If you pay more in general (i.e more deposit & mortgage) then I would say she shouldn't get half, you should get a proportion of what each paid in.

 

Wouldn't that be unfair where one partner (usually the woman) cannot work full-time or has limited earning power due to taking care of the family etc?  I think the courts consider that point when splitting assets on divorce

[mizfit]

I’ve been living with my girlfriend for nearly a year and we haven’t bothered having a joint account. Any savings go into my savings account because I had one before we moved in.

[whiskychimp]

1 hour ago, Tartantony said:

2 hours ago, whiskychimp said:

We're buying our first place together. My share of the deposit is a vast sum of money. Do you think she should get half if we split? ( I know that reads as a challenge but it's just a question)

Yeah, personally I think she should get half. I just can't understand couples having seperate money at all.

 

1 hour ago, Jambomo said:

Thats a tricky one because even though you may pay more initially for the deposit, if you both pay the mortgage equally then it would be fair to say that approx equal split would be expected. If you pay more in general (i.e more deposit & mortgage) then I would say she shouldn't get half, you should get a proportion of what each paid in.

I think there is a bit of a generation gap. My boyfriend and I have lived together for nearly 12 years and have always had seperate accounts and did what we want with our own money. We pay half for everything (though payments usually go from my account and he gives me the money back). If either of us is a bit skint one month then we'll lend the other money but we do keep a tab of it and give it back on payday.

I certainly wouldn't give him my wage to control nor would I want him to do the same, I think it stems from having a previous relationship that was abusive - you have to retain some independence so you can stay/remain in the relationship as you want to, not because you need to or can't do otherwise.

 

Let's say for example, I'm selling my flat and putting in 500k. She is putting in 5k. The mortgage is 250k. 

[bunglebonce]

12 hours ago, Tartantony said:

My mates find it really strange that me and the wife share our money. I've never once considered money to be mine or hers and especially hate the idea of owing each other money.

My mates all have joint accounts that both contribute into for the bills then keep whatever they have left over for themselves and often hear them say so and so owes me £500 for this or that. Mental behaviour imo

Agreed.  I moved in with my partner after going out for about 8 months.  We bought a flat after a year together and lived like that for five years before getting married.  We're now married for three years.

As soon as we bought the flat I was keen to share the money and we set up this:-

• Our salaries go into our sole accounts
• Standing orders are set up to dump most of that into the joint account
• The mortgage, bills and gorceries come out of the joint account
• We both leave enough in our sole accounts to have an equal disposable income
• Any surplus in the joint account goes into joint savings; any surplus in sole accounts can go into sole savings (not that it ever happens!)

There wasn't a big difference in salaries when we first got together but there is now, so my standing order is higher than hers to reflect that.  The aim is to have the same disposable income at the start of the month for each of us, I feel that anything else wouldn't feel fair for my relationship.  I wouldn't want a relationship where one or both are wary about how much money the other person has.

 

2 hours ago, whiskychimp said:

We're buying our first place together. My share of the deposit is a vast sum of money. Do you think she should get half if we split? ( I know that reads as a challenge but it's just a question)

I have friends who put their title into a 70/30 split to reflect the size of deposits and income, in case they separated.  That might be an idea for you but you'd both need to talk that out first.  My friends eventually married, so I suspect that it will be viewed as joint property.

I have other friends where one of them inherited enough for a house and he bought the house to be put into joint names and a survivorship with his partner. 

Edited January 22, 2019 by bunglebonce

[The Moonster]

13 hours ago, heedthebaa said:

Don’t mind the prepping part of a Sunday dinner, peeling, scraping, carving, chopping etc, it’s the timing of it I hate

Are you sure you're comfortable using such sharp objects? Might be best to get the Mrs to help.

1 hour ago, Tartantony said:

Yeah, personally I think she should get half. I just can't understand couples having seperate money at all.

I don't have a problem with people having shared accounts which you both use money from, I understand that and see how it makes sense in a lot of situations.  What I can't comprehend is the thought of some of these old duffers sitting there on a Friday night, receiving a call from a friend who invites them for a pint and said old duffer then having to go and ask his wife for £20 so he can go out.  I do not and will not understand that.  Your wife essentially becomes your maw, and that's fucked up.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

I wouldnt let my missus anywhere near my bank account or money.
 

Are you all fucking mad?

[Dons_1988]

9 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

Are you sure you're comfortable using such sharp objects? Might be best to get the Mrs to help.

I don't have a problem with people having shared accounts which you both use money from, I understand that and see how it makes sense in a lot of situations.  What I can't comprehend is the thought of some of these old duffers sitting there on a Friday night, receiving a call from a friend who invites them for a pint and said old duffer then having to go and ask his wife for £20 so he can go out.  I do not and will not understand that.  Your wife essentially becomes your maw, and that's fucked up.

You're of course right.  £20 for a Friday night at the pub is pathetic to be fair.

[Gaz FFC]

3 hours ago, whiskychimp said:

We're buying our first place together. My share of the deposit is a vast sum of money. Do you think she should get half if we split? ( I know that reads as a challenge but it's just a question)

I've never heard of a reasonable woman when it came to a break up regarding money.

Heard of plenty greedy b*****ds taking way more than they were entitled too though.

 

[Dazzle]

For anyone who gets paid into their own account and then both partners put equal into a joint account to pay bills and get whatever is left to themselves to do as they see fit, surely you and your partner must earn pretty much the same? Or else is it not a bit cunty to leave them skint barely able to socialise for the month while you cut about with rakes of cash.

[hk blues]

1 minute ago, Dazzle said:

Or else is it not a bit cunty to leave them skint barely able to socialise for the month while you cut about with rakes of cash.

Yes, it is

[whiskychimp]

3 minutes ago, Dazzle said:

For anyone who gets paid into their own account and then both partners put equal into a joint account to pay bills and get whatever is left to themselves to do as they see fit, surely you and your partner must earn pretty much the same? Or else is it not a bit cunty to leave them skint barely able to socialise for the month while you cut about with rakes of cash.

I wouldn't accept cash from my partner unless it was for things we pay together. I'm not a fucking freeloader

 

[hk blues]

1 minute ago, whiskychimp said:

I wouldn't accept cash from my partner unless it was for things we pay together. I'm not a fucking freeloader

 

But if it's a partnership surely it's not freeloading - all about contributing different things in different ways surely?

[Jambomo]

For anyone who gets paid into their own account and then both partners put equal into a joint account to pay bills and get whatever is left to themselves to do as they see fit, surely you and your partner must earn pretty much the same? Or else is it not a bit cunty to leave them skint barely able to socialise for the month while you cut about with rakes of cash.

Well yeah, that would be shit. You’d take into account what each could afford though, when looking at rent or mortgage etc.

I guess I am lucky that my boyfriend and I do earn roughly the same and that we both still have money after everything is paid. It helps not to have any kids as well.

[19QOS19]

For anyone who gets paid into their own account and then both partners put equal into a joint account to pay bills and get whatever is left to themselves to do as they see fit, surely you and your partner must earn pretty much the same? Or else is it not a bit cunty to leave them skint barely able to socialise for the month while you cut about with rakes of cash.

I usually get paid before my Mrs and once I'm paid I 'top up' my bill account and the joint bill account for the month. Once my Mrs is paid she gives me £450 and I 'reimburse' myself. Our joint bills are around £1100 so I pay a wee bit more than her but that reflects our wages as I make a wee bit more than her. I probably have a wee bit more money leftover every month but having sat down when we worked it all out, she'll have a decent amount of spare cash as well. If she has a 5 week month I'll generally pay for any unforeseen expenses.