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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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8 hours ago, A96 said:

On another bread-bag theme , Mrs  A96 takes a cavalier approach to opening bags of more locally made products, that typically come in an unmarked clear plastic bag**, tied/sealed with a wee bit of sticky tape. Now , to me , it's worth the wee bit of effort to use scissors or a sharp knife , either of which can usually be found within about 2 feet of the kitchen table, to snip or cut the wee bit of sticky tape , so that one end of the plastc bag can effectively be restored to its' original state (apart from containing a virgin loaf). Thereafter , the closing and re-opening process described by Hedgecutter is simple and appropriate.

However, Mrs A96 ,  can't be arsed getting scissors or a knife to cut the sticky tape......("I'm nae kirnin' wi' that !").......and simply rips a hole in the plastic bag , thus virtually guaranteeing at some point in the not too distant future ,  spillage of copious amounts of breadcrumbs from the rogue hole in the bag.

 

**insert Kenneth Williams "shocked" pic here

See the source imageO.K.
 

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Hasn't happened for a wee while and thought she'd got the message, but no.

Gets in the car yesterday, she's locking the front door.

I put on my seatbelt, bairn puts on seatbelt in back.

Missus gets in and we sit waiting for her to put seatbelt on before pulling away.

Missus, empties handbag full of womenshit onto lap and starts rearranging it.

Me "can you put your seatbelt on and we'll get moving"

Her "Aye once Ive sorted this lot"

f**k this, starts to move off.

Her "WAIT WAIT WAIT AHVE NO GOT MA SEATBELT ON"

Me "can you not just get in the car and put your seatbelt on first so we can get going.  You can sort that stuff on the move"

Her "...."

Utterly seething. 

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Maybe she wanted to check that she had something in her bag that she might need? Shirley better that she checks before you set off rather than having to ask you to turn around and head back when you've been driving for a few minutes? 

I'm with her on this one. And she has to put up with mushroom suppers, she must be a saint. 

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37 minutes ago, Bully Wee Villa said:

Maybe she wanted to check that she had something in her bag that she might need? Shirley better that she checks before you set off rather than having to ask you to turn around and head back when you've been driving for a few minutes? 

I'm with her on this one. And she has to put up with mushroom suppers, she must be a saint. 

If you're sitting in the car you are past the point of checking to make sure you've got everything - that step is carried out in the house/shop/pub that you are leaving from. I'm with Mozza.

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we won't be having any parties with nibbles over the hols. This won't stop the wife filling the freezer with overpriced little snacks. Yet again, come February, the kids will be rightfully complaining about having stuffed potato skins with mozarella sticks for tea instead of actual food.

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6 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Hasn't happened for a wee while and thought she'd got the message, but no.

Gets in the car yesterday, she's locking the front door.

I put on my seatbelt, bairn puts on seatbelt in back.

Missus gets in and we sit waiting for her to put seatbelt on before pulling away.

Missus, empties handbag full of womenshit onto lap and starts rearranging it.

Me "can you put your seatbelt on and we'll get moving"

Her "Aye once Ive sorted this lot"

f**k this, starts to move off.

Her "WAIT WAIT WAIT AHVE NO GOT MA SEATBELT ON"

Me "can you not just get in the car and put your seatbelt on first so we can get going.  You can sort that stuff on the move"

Her "...."

Utterly seething. 

Don't try and reason with her, it wastes oxygen. Tell her all the celebtities put their seatbelts on straight away. job done.

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Pops out to the car for something leaving the front door of the house wide open. Invariably she'll get involved with a conversation with the neighbour about something or other as they are both nosey, gossipy cows, meaning all the heat is lost in the house. First thing she'll do when she comes back in is complain about it being cold and turn the thermostat up. Drives me mental - not enough to get up and shut the door myself, obvs.

 

 

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Taking ages to leave her parents' house when we visit.

Usually involves her saying to me and son "Right , c'mon 'en , we'd better get goin" as if it's because of us that we're still there. So we both duly get our jackets on , say our goodbyes and go out to the car.

And then wait for her to come out.

And wait a bit more.

Typically , it'll be at least 5 minutes after we've gone out , that she'll eventually appear. Sometimes a good bit longer. By which time there's steam comin' oot ma lugs.

Usually,it transpires that some topic that was so important that it hadn't even been mentioned in the previous 5 or 6 hours, becomes an essential subject for discussion in those final minutes of the visit.

 

 

 

 

Edited by A96
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1 hour ago, Black Dug said:

Pops out to the car for something leaving the front door of the house wide open. Invariably she'll get involved with a conversation with the neighbour about something or other as they are both nosey, gossipy cows, meaning all the heat is lost in the house. First thing she'll do when she comes back in is complain about it being cold and turn the thermostat up. Drives me mental - not enough to get up and shut the door myself, obvs.

 

 

See also coming home the other day and her sitting in the living room watching the telly with every light in the house on.  Every single one the other night from the kitchen right up to the spare room.

Wasnt even dark outside (probably due to the megalux coming from our house).

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Asks if she can wear my jumper to work (a good one at that) and I say alright, just don’t roll up the sleeves. (As they go baggy)

“Can’t promise anything”

“Don’t roll up the sleeves”

“Can’t promise anything”

“I’m asking you not to roll up the sleeves”

“Fine! I’ll wear something else”

She’s now in a huff at work, not talking to me. How dare I ask her not to do something with an item of MY clothing.

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7 minutes ago, Widge said:

Asks if she can wear my jumper to work (a good one at that) and I say alright, just don’t roll up the sleeves. (As they go baggy)

“Can’t promise anything”

“Don’t roll up the sleeves”

“Can’t promise anything”

“I’m asking you not to roll up the sleeves”

“Fine! I’ll wear something else”

She’s now in a huff at work, not talking to me. How dare I ask her not to do something with an item of MY clothing.
 

Now, if you had one of those couples Christmas jumpers she could roil her side up to her heart's content and leave yours pristine 

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Asks if she can wear my jumper to work (a good one at that) and I say alright, just don’t roll up the sleeves. (As they go baggy)

“Can’t promise anything”

“Don’t roll up the sleeves”

“Can’t promise anything”

“I’m asking you not to roll up the sleeves”

“Fine! I’ll wear something else”

She’s now in a huff at work, not talking to me. How dare I ask her not to do something with an item of MY clothing.



Why does she want to wear your jumper to work? Why isn’t she wearing her own jumper if she wants to wear a jumper?
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Why does she want to wear your jumper to work? Why isn’t she wearing her own jumper if she wants to wear a jumper?


Because my taste in jumpers is vastly superior. It’s also a well known fact that girls steal their partners clothes, or is that just a modern generation thing?
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Because my taste in jumpers is vastly superior. It’s also a well known fact that girls steal their partners clothes, or is that just a modern generation thing?

Sitting about the house in your jumper, fair enough but unless your girl is a lorry driver I reckon she should be wearing her own clothes to work.
She didn’t wear your grey suit and black tie to a funeral recently, did she? Short hair, sunglasses, does a bit singing?
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3 hours ago, Widge said:

Asks if she can wear my jumper to work (a good one at that) and I say alright, just don’t roll up the sleeves. (As they go baggy)

“Can’t promise anything”

“Don’t roll up the sleeves”

“Can’t promise anything”

“I’m asking you not to roll up the sleeves”

“Fine! I’ll wear something else”

She’s now in a huff at work, not talking to me. How dare I ask her not to do something with an item of MY clothing.
 

You misanthropes are all the same.

 

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