KnightswoodBear Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 Just now, Shandon Par said: Handsome bloke with a bit of beard/stubble appears on tv. She'll say "oh he's handsome" or may just get down to business. I note this and grow some stubble of a bit of a beard and get "eugh, don't come near me you look like a fucking pirate". I'd imagine you advancing on her wearing nothing but a poundland cagoule, with your jolly roger raised, wouldn't necessarily be many women's fantasy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 3 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: I'd imagine you advancing on her wearing nothing but a poundland cagoule, with your jolly roger raised, wouldn't necessarily be many women's fantasy. Aw, keep talking, baby. You do it so good. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 10 hours ago, MEADOWXI said: I now have to lie when we have to be somewhere on time. Last time we were meeting to get a train together I told her the train was 12.30. She arrived at 13.10, the train was 13.40. I'll be there in 5mins has varied anywhere between 15mins and 3 hours. Why lie? Just get on the train and go where you are going. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 There's a line between the 'rugged and handsome', and' unwashed and jakey' looks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2lgm Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 We have an open plan staircase into the living room so she always sits at the top of the stairs drying her hair when I'm watching the telly. Plenty of sockets and large wardrobe mirror in the bedroom for doing the hair. Hoover when I'm watching telly.Panics if I drive over 50 mph on a motorway and she thinks all other drivers are on the road with the intention of crashing into us.Thinks I'm her gofer.Constant bloody soaps on the telly yet one game of football and I'm hogging it all week.Thinks making dinner consists of having a pizza in the fridge for me to heat up when I get home.Expects breakfast made every weekend, in bed too if she isn't up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 We have an open plan staircase into the living room so she always sits at the top of the stairs drying her hair when I'm watching the telly. Plenty of sockets and large wardrobe mirror in the bedroom for doing the hair. Hoover when I'm watching telly.Panics if I drive over 50 mph on a motorway and she thinks all other drivers are on the road with the intention of crashing into us.Thinks I'm her gofer.Constant bloody soaps on the telly yet one game of football and I'm hogging it all week.Thinks making dinner consists of having a pizza in the fridge for me to heat up when I get home.Expects breakfast made every weekend, in bed too if she isn't up. Ditch her. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 Leaving stuff lying on the sofa, meaning I've got to move stuff to get a seat. Chucked a load of stuff where she sits tonight though, leaving her with no option but to tidy it up. Someone mentioned not tidying up after preparing meals. Yep, that happens here as well. Various pots, cutlery, sauces, empty packets, pieces of veg, etc lying everywhere while we sit down to eat, without a hint of even putting anything in the sink to soak. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 33 minutes ago, 2lgm said: We have an open plan staircase into the living room so she always sits at the top of the stairs drying her hair when I'm watching the telly. Plenty of sockets and large wardrobe mirror in the bedroom for doing the hair. Hoover when I'm watching telly. Panics if I drive over 50 mph on a motorway and she thinks all other drivers are on the road with the intention of crashing into us. Thinks I'm her gofer. Constant bloody soaps on the telly yet one game of football and I'm hogging it all week. Thinks making dinner consists of having a pizza in the fridge for me to heat up when I get home. Expects breakfast made every weekend, in bed too if she isn't up. Just what the f**k is a 'gofer'? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 1 minute ago, DA Baracus said: Just what the f**k is a 'gofer'? Someone who runs errands, gofer this, gofer that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 I don't know why any of you bother. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 Leaving stuff lying on the sofa, meaning I've got to move stuff to get a seat. Chucked a load of stuff where she sits tonight though, leaving her with no option but to tidy it up. Someone mentioned not tidying up after preparing meals. Yep, that happens here as well. Various pots, cutlery, sauces, empty packets, pieces of veg, etc lying everywhere while we sit down to eat, without a hint of even putting anything in the sink to soak. She's probably posting on mumsnet just now saying "oh god he is so annoying. He has all sorts of Facebook dramas with people he speaks to on that awful pie and bovril site and he ends up stalking them and crying to me in bed that they don't want to hang about with him"To which 'supermumsuperwoman' replies: "Minter" -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 I've never understood why anyone would bother with a mistress. One wummin is enough hassle, never mind two. If you want more sex then have a w**k. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stimpy Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 Not getting me a beer, disgrace. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 1 hour ago, 2lgm said: We have an open plan staircase into the living room so she always sits at the top of the stairs drying her hair when I'm watching the telly. Plenty of sockets and large wardrobe mirror in the bedroom for doing the hair. Hoover when I'm watching telly. Panics if I drive over 50 mph on a motorway and she thinks all other drivers are on the road with the intention of crashing into us. Thinks I'm her gofer. Constant bloody soaps on the telly yet one game of football and I'm hogging it all week. Thinks making dinner consists of having a pizza in the fridge for me to heat up when I get home. Expects breakfast made every weekend, in bed too if she isn't up. Fat tae? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 7 hours ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: You don't bathe together to save time or to help scrub each other's feet, it's because you're after your hole. It'd need to be the bath at Hampden, if me and her wanted in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 16 minutes ago, stimpy said: Not getting me a beer, disgrace. She's doing you a favour, if that pish water is all you've got. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2lgm Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 Just what the f**k is a 'gofer'? Go for this go for that...... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2lgm Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 Fat tae? Absolutely not ......slim brunette 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 1 hour ago, stimpy said: Not getting me a beer, disgrace. It's because you've passed out drunk again on the couch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 @Rugster doesn't put the empty toilet roll in the bin and he starts a new one before the old one is finished. Fucking annoying. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.thumb.jpeg.11f731b494e53900b96970bb0739e682.jpeg)
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.