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johnnydun

The Dundee Manager Monorail

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49 minutes ago, Fifespud said:

I wonder how the meeting with the players went? Look lads is this all goes Pete Tong I'm going back to my job at Sky fairly unscathed. You motherfuçers on the other hand are literally playing for your jobs. So it's up to you, get stuck right in or it's a one way ticket to Peterhead or some other utter shitehole.

Inspiring because it's true.

Edited by The Algebraist

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If it was me, I'd walk in to training and gather them all round. I'd then bring out James McPake and his robot leg and get him to roundhouse kick Tom Hateley with it. As Tom's body is being dragged away I'd tell them for every week we go without a win, two players will die. It that doesn't motivate them nothing will.

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"Lads, the name's Neil McCann, not Neil McCannot. Think about that. Also, if any of you were born in Edinburgh in the mid-to-late 90s there's a 87% statistical chance I'm your dad. Get out there and do it for your old man."

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McCann needs Papa Shango to appear at the training ground, casually whip it out, and threaten any shirkers with ceremonial 'death by bungay'. 

8-0 victories the rest of the way.

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3 minutes ago, Boo Khaki said:

McCann needs Papa Shango to appear at the training ground, casually whip it out, and threaten any shirkers with ceremonial 'death by bungay'. 

8-0 victories the rest of the way.

I took a moment to consider Papa Shango's voodoo penis there, Boo. I haven't done that in weeks.

Thank you for the reminder.

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Dundee have lost their last 7 games and weren't looking like winning anytime soon. ANYONE in in place of Hartley is better than losing the last 5. McCann wouldn't have been my choice but it might just work, worth a gamble.
 
 

Who's hijacked THT's account?

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"Lads, the name's Neil McCann, not Neil McCannot. Think about that. Also, if any of you were born in Edinburgh in the mid-to-late 90s there's a 87% statistical chance I'm your dad. Get out there and do it for your old man."


What a twist it would be if this was all a ploy by McCann to reconnect with a long lost son. I can only assume Hartley was involved as that would explain the last couple of months. It'll be an emotional end to the season. Relegation. And Neil McCann in the centre circle with a microphone asking Scott Bain if he could ever forgive him for walking out on him.

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5 hours ago, Dee Man said:

How rude.

 You should know that about 3 on my rudeness scale.  That's out of 100 btw.

It's like we've never met IRL.  :rolleyes:

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1 hour ago, dundeebarry said:

"Lads, the name's Neil McCann, not Neil McCannot. Think about that. Also, if any of you were born in Edinburgh in the mid-to-late 90s there's a 87% statistical chance I'm your dad. Get out there and do it for your old man."

You plagiarising c**t.  Why am I not surprised.

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What a twist it would be if this was all a ploy by McCann to reconnect with a long lost son. I can only assume Hartley was involved as that would explain the last couple of months. It'll be an emotional end to the season. Relegation. And Neil McCann in the centre circle with a microphone asking Scott Bain if he could ever forgive him for walking out on him.


Is it even biologically possible for a son to be more than double the height of his father?

More likely he fathered 20 out of our 21 midget midfielders (not O'Hara).

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10 minutes ago, Granny Danger said:

You plagiarising c**t.  Why am I not surprised.

Hiya pal! Long time no speak, I trust you're well.

Apologies if you already used that aine. It was almost too obvious, I suspected it may have been done.

"Why am I not surprised" was unwarranted and I expect an apology, you shite-futba-teamed c**t.

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Is it even biologically possible for a son to be more than double the height of his father?

 

More likely he fathered 20 out of our 21 midget midfielders (not O'Hara).

 

I can only assume Nick Ross' mum accidentally sat on the tissue that McCann had spunked into.

 

Edit- I actually feel bad for saying that. Nick Ross is alright, imo. He's scored at least once in a Dundee derby, albeit a wicked deflection against the shittest United teams in years. But that's more than I'll ever do.

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7 minutes ago, dundeebarry said:

Hiya pal! Long time no speak, I trust you're well.

Apologies if you already used that aine. It was almost too obvious, I suspected it may have been done.

"Why am I not surprised" was unwarranted and I expect an apology, you shite-futba-teamed c**t.

F*ck up you mop headed twat.

Hope you're doing well.

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Is it even biologically possible for a son to be more than double the height of his father?

More likely he fathered 20 out of our 21 midget midfielders (not O'Hara).

If McCann could deploy some invisible horizontal force field over Dens at 5 ft 7 inches off the ground our midgets would run riot.

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Also, am I remembering correctly that McCann once got a straight red from Rowbotham at Ibrox after halfing other legend Barry Smith?
This coincidence could only mean that he, like Barry is destined to pull us from a shitey situation.

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Also, am I remembering correctly that McCann once got a straight red from Rowbotham at Ibrox after halfing other legend Barry Smith?
This coincidence could only mean that he, like Barry is destined to pull us from a shitey situation.


I've done some calculations based on when McCann was born and how many points we have currently. I can't be arsed to show my working, but I believe (if my maths is correct) that we will get a further 5 points in his five games. I'll guess at 1 win and 2 draws but I suppose we really can't rule out 5 draws at this point.

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4 minutes ago, K.T said:

 


I've done some calculations based on when McCann was born and how many points we have currently. I can't be arsed to show my working, but I believe (if my maths is correct) that we will get a further 5 points in his five games. I'll guess at 1 win and 2 draws but I suppose we really can't rule out 5 draws at this point.

 

You've forgotten leap years.

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You've forgotten leap years.


Ah f**k. Well, I'm afraid that calculation is beyond me.

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Seems to be quite a lot of silly comments in this thread.

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