Scottyroo Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 “You couldn’t dream of a more fitting baptism to the bubbling cauldron that is a test cricket Tour of India than what befell rookie Australian opener Matt Renshaw in his first innings. Despite finding form with the willow, the panic-stricken 20-year old was struck down by the old sub-continental favourite ‘Delhi Belly’ whilst at the crease, with the sudden and ferocious attack of diarrhoea forcing him to sprint from the field or face certainly pooing his pants live on television” http://www.news.com.au/sport/cricket/what-did-everyone-expect-matt-renshaw-to-do-when-he-got-the-runs/news-story/198e29857f33911010c8e4f69c1b239a That was the background to, believe it or not, an Australian radio phone-in about whether the young batsman should have messed himself rather than ran for the toilets with just 15 minutes left before the lunch-break in last week’s First test between India and Australia in the Indian city of Pune. Former Australian cricket captain Allan Border who was commentating at the time, went off on a major rant about Renshaw letting his country down by leaving the field, suggesting that if the lad had ended up doing it in his pants, so be it. That's top-class cricket, so to speak! Bearing in mind Renshaw had sprinted from the pitch holding his stomach whist desperately trying to reach the toilet before it was too late, you would have thought the furore of million on television watching him running as the backs of his white trousers rapidly turned brown would have provoked major sympathy from on-lookers but guess what? The Aussies were divided in their opinion of whether Renshaw should have abandoned his wicket or remained there and likely soiled his briefs uncontrollably in front of everyone. If anyone has ever been to India and experienced an un-announced wet fart, immediately followed by a 10-second warning that you are about to experience a major and messy ‘blow-out’, they would have tremendous empathy, trust me! Can anyone believe the Australian public seriously would have considered it acceptable for a budding young sportsman to have suffered the stigma of pooping his pants, in white trousers, in order to help his national team win a Test Match? So, would you have voted yes to ‘dirtying his pants’ (as the radio show put it) or no and running like the wind to avoid an unfortunate trouser-accident? And what would you have done in Matt Renshaw’s predicament? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 I'd certainly have gone for a pre-match dump if there was the slightest chance of this. Doesn't cricket last like 35 hours or something? I can only imagine how awkward you'd be running around with shite all over your arse/leg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikingTON Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Cricket is utter shite and "the Australian public" are gibbering, racist morons. Couldn't give a toss about the shiting issue; just wanted to point out those key facts tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 10 minutes ago, Stellaboz said: I'd certainly have gone for a pre-match dump if there was the slightest chance of this. Doesn't cricket last like 35 hours or something? I can only imagine how awkward you'd be running around with shite all over your arse/leg. Paula Radcliffe ran half the London marathon with her arse and legs smeared in fizzy gravy, has to be admired if you ask me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottyroo Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 12 minutes ago, Stellaboz said: I'd certainly have gone for a pre-match dump if there was the slightest chance of this. Doesn't cricket last like 35 hours or something? I can only imagine how awkward you'd be running around with shite all over your arse/leg. The trouble in India is that however many preparation dumps you have, the next one is just around the corner, and usually when you least expect it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 The trouble in India is that however many preparation dumps you have, the next one is just around the corner, and usually when you least expect it!! Take your own food then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estragon Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Renshat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamaldo Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 The fact that there's even a debate about this is incredible. Why would he prioritise a match in a particular sport over his own health and dignity? I'm assuming the people criticising him are all fucking dinosaurs who mewl about how " it were different back in my day".Australians are c***s anyway so isn't a surprise really. The only country I'd happily see England give a total pasting in any given sport, particularly cricket and rugby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Brown trousers would have solved this dilemma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottyroo Posted March 4, 2017 Author Share Posted March 4, 2017 Matt Renshaw just padding up to go out to bat in the Second Test ... one pad on each leg - and one in the back of his pants!! (sorry, stolen from Twitter!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Wish you'd kept it on twitter, Shite patter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allan Jacobsen Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 22 hours ago, Jamaldo said: The fact that there's even a debate about this is incredible. Why would he prioritise a match in a particular sport over his own health and dignity? I'm assuming the people criticising him are all fucking dinosaurs who mewl about how " it were different back in my day". Allan Border is a moron who has previous for this. Guy's a nasty wee bully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dorlomin Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Who cares? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 35 minutes ago, dorlomin said: Who cares? Someone who cares enough to sign up to a Scottish football forum and make three posts about an Australian cricket player, apparently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Surprised no one has tagged or mentioned @8MileBU in this thread yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 2 minutes ago, Flybhoy said: Surprised no one has tagged or mentioned @8MileBU in this thread yet. You just did. Then again, you're a grey and green walloper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 1 minute ago, The_Kincardine said: You just did. Then again, you're a grey and green walloper. Fair point well made. But the flip of that is that I wont still be up drinking cans of Special Brew at 8.00am on Sunday morning. Have a good night x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 4 minutes ago, Flybhoy said: Fair point well made. But the flip of that is that I wont still be up drinking cans of Special Brew at 8.00am on Sunday morning. The flip of this flip is that you'll be scouring the internet for all matters Sevco...along with the rest of your fellow demented obsessives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 1 minute ago, The_Kincardine said: The flip of this flip is that you'll be scouring the internet for all matters Sevco...along with the rest of your fellow demented obsessives. No I wont. Now put the drink away and go to bed man, have at least an ounce of respect for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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