Jimboyjones1976 Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 What's your best football jokes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deej Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 Walking through Dundee the other day and found a season ticket for Dens nailed to a tree, thought to myself, 'Oh I'm having that'. Can never have too many nails. Spoiler sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pie Of The Month Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 2 hours ago, Bishop Briggs said: Anywhere where you have to listen to the bigoted shite from Sevconian and Sellick fans. 1 hour ago, Jimboyjones1976 said: You'll not have to worry about that much when you're relegated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 I always liked one of Jasper Carrott's. It was a bit of a visual one but I'll try and transcribe it for you: "I was talking to the bloke next to me on the terraces at the Birmingham City match the other day.. (SHOUTS INTO THE DISTANCE) OI! MATE!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ginger Prince Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Heart of Midlothian football club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Saintee Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Gary McDonald. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 "Gordon, can we have a quick word?""Velocity".Absolute hysterics, every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 What's your best football jokes? Rangers are still the same club because it was the company who died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YassinMoutaouakil Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 So he gets in the rowing boat ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer Jag Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 What's the difference between Willo Flood and E.T? f**k all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2pac Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Jimmy calderwood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 What's the difference between Willo Flood and E.T? f**k all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeTillEhDeh Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Michelle Mone has brought out a new range - the St Johnstone bra - it has one cup and no support . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peppino Impastato Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Aberdeen fan takes his daughter to the gynaecologist. Gynaecologist says is your daughter sexually Active? He says naw she just lies there sobbing like her mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 So I take it there's no good football jokes then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Knock knock Who's there? Sev Sev who? Sevco. Because Rangers died and their fans let them whilst applauding bigot cretins like John 'Slavers' Brown and cheerleading guys like Whyte and Green who had to conceal laughter at how easily they tricked hordes of astonishingly thick and vile people (fans of Rangers, now Sevco). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Guy turns up outside Ibrox with a carrier bag. He takes out a football, a net bag and a length of bungee elastic. He ties the elastic round a lamppost, puts the ball in the bag and ties the other end of the elastic to the handles. All the while, the queue is watching him curiously. The guy puts the bag on the ground and now the queue can see the football has the Pope's face painted on it. The guy fixes a sign to the lamppost - KICK THE POPE IN THE FACE, £1. "Ah'll have a go at that," says one of the Rangers supporters, and he hands the guy a pound then kicks the ball as hard as he can. Because it's on bungee elastic, the guy doesn't have to chase after it. The other supporters gather round and they have a go too, until the Ibrox gates open and they go inside. Next home game the guy is back. They all have another go, some of them several times over. It happens at the next few home games too, and the crowd looks forward to it. Each week the guy leaves with a bag weighed down with cash. And then one day he doesn't turn up. The punters are disappointed, because it had become part of the match-day ritual. He's not at the next home game either, but by chance one of them bumps into the guy in Sauchiehall Street. "Haw, Jimmy, are you going to be at Ibrox on Saturday with the kick the Pope thing?" he asks. The guy replies, "Naw, there's no need. The chapel roof repairs are all paid for now!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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