sjc Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 Just now, 8MileBU said: "Baby I like it raw" How you like your meat done thread for this pish..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 12 minutes ago, 8MileBU said: "Baby I like it raw" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 I decided to donate a kidney to a seriously ill patient at the local hospital but thanks to some stupid passenger fannying about on the bus looking for his change, the surgeon told me I was 10 seconds too late and that the patient had sadly passed away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 On 30/09/2016 at 15:45, BigFatTabbyDave said: I haven't killed anyone even slightly so far this year. They should give out medals for such selfless acts. I accidentally hurt a man earlier but drove him to A&E. Hope he’s feeling better now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 6 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: I accidentally hurt a man earlier but drove him to A&E. Hope he’s feeling better now. Pussy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 18 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: I accidentally hurt a man earlier but drove him to A&E. Hope he’s feeling better now. When you say "accidentally hurt a man", it was that schoolboy who gave you the shiner a few days ago, wasn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Recently, I happened to notice a neighbour’s car hadn’t moved in a while, so much so that the front tyres were starting to deflate and birdshit, leaves etc., were gathering profusely on the windscreen. Now this car belongs to an elderly lady, let’s call her Nancy, and she is well into her 80’s and is a spinster. She is also a crotchety auld besom in the mould of Nora Batty. She is also a bit hard of hearing.Anyhoo, I thought I’d better chap her door to make sure all was well. She has a walled garden and the door in the wall was locked. So I get a ladder and climb over. I chap her door (bell not working)......no answer......so I chap again.....and again.....no response.So I call 101 and explain my concern to the call handler who arranges for police attendance. They also have to scale wall etc........and eventually illicit a response from Nancy who, it transpires, has been in hospital to have her cataracts done and was told not to drive and take it easy for 3 weeks. Police tell me I did right thing, good neighbour, public awareness, blah dee blah, gold star for FP.....hip hooray.Next day, Nancy is at my door telling me to mind my own business, police scared the hell out of her etc, etc...........I have now retired from the Good Deed Society. [emoji45] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 1 hour ago, Shandon Par said: I accidentally hurt a man earlier but drove him to A&E. Hope he’s feeling better now. Remember to lube next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 1 hour ago, Shotgun said: When you say "accidentally hurt a man", it was that schoolboy who gave you the shiner a few days ago, wasn't it? Ruptured his bicep punching me. Hope he gets better soon as his job involves lifting stuff all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Ruptured his bicep punching me. Hope he gets better soon as his job involves lifting stuff all day. Not Philpy I hope..............[emoji44] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 10 minutes ago, Tynierose said: Worked in a charity clinic in central India for 6/12 which was for the survivors of the Bhopal disaster and the subsequent health issues it caused for next generation too. Look it up, Bhopal 1984 union carbide explosion. @The Captain ... over to you mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Ruptured his bicep punching me. Hope he gets better soon as his job involves lifting stuff all day. Sofas & washing machines on his own? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 13 minutes ago, Tynierose said: Worked in a charity clinic in central India for 6/12 which was for the survivors of the Bhopal disaster and the subsequent health issues it caused for next generation too. Look it up, Bhopal 1984 union carbide explosion. Killed more Indians than John Wayne. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 6 minutes ago, Brother Blades said: Sofas & washing machines on his own? Haha! A p&b classic meltdown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 11 hours ago, Shandon Par said: Ruptured his bicep punching me. Hope he gets better soon as his job involves lifting stuff all day. So he hurt himself knocking f**k out of you, then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 8 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: So he hurt himself knocking f**k out of you, then? He punched my arm and his arm sort of melted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Captain Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 18 minutes ago, Tynierose said: English actually, the Scandanavian was later. Not saying I put the lassie off but she now lives in Darwin... Respectable distance. She can rebuild her life.. Tynie tell us where did the scandanavian head off to..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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