Heads Gone (The 8MileBU Awards)

[D.A.F.C]

I have (well my wife does, I'd have binned them yonks ago) pals who are a bit like this. They're miserable in real life and instead of trying to do something to improve their situation, they constantly engineer situations where they experience more misery, because their brain wiring is all fucked up and the act of exercising some control that leads to a known outcome, even if that outcome is bad, gives them a dopamine hit. Hour long phonecalls about all the latest stuff that's gone against them because the systems rigged, they knew this bad thing is what was going to happen and sure enough it came to pass etc.

I tired to help people and my help didn't work so I binned them because I'm ok and didn't really care anyway.

Yep, I can engineer bad situations. Just like someone who was shot by a stranger engineered that as well.

People who do well based on chance and luck mostly but dont want to accept that.

Have only seen one person point out the basis of the arguement on this thread.

As much as people can be victims and appear not to help themselves theres the other side of the coin which is reality and some cant face it either.

[Dons_1988]

14 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

I tired to help people and my help didn't work so I binned them because I'm ok and didn't really care anyway.

Yep, I can engineer bad situations. Just like someone who was shot by a stranger engineered that as well.

People who do well based on chance and luck mostly but dont want to accept that.

Have only seen one person point out the basis of the arguement on this thread.

As much as people can be victims and appear not to help themselves theres the other side of the coin which is reality and some cant face it either.

Whether you engineer situations or you are a true victim (not casting judgement either way here) I would always suggest controlling what you can control, in any situation. Whatever you're faced with, take the reasonable steps that you can to improve it for yourself. That won't always solve things clearly, but you make marginal gains and it makes your case for being a victim much stronger.

Chance and luck, both good and bad, affect all of us and very rarely fairly. How we anticipate/react to those things is all we can do.

Mixu is right, there are plenty of people who get off being a victim. I have a family member who doesn't feel 'part of the family' like everyone else. It makes us all sad that he feels this way, as no one has ever done anything purposefully to make him feel that way. We'd love to know what we can do to make that better.

But then he'll regularly do things like not provide availability for family gatherings (when asked multiple times), then rage when it's organised at a time he can't do and use this as an example of why he's left out. After a while it is draining, and it's tempting to give up trying. 

[D Angelo Barksdale]

Please sir, a small crumb of systematic change.

[tamthebam]

Useful things to remember;

1) there's an "off" button. Why not switch off P&B and go and do something less boring instead?

2) there's an "Ignore" button

3) when you're in a hole stop digging.

4) this all kicked off because a bot revived a dead thread to sell hoodie printing

[ICTChris]

I think a lot of this comes from family.  I've found people with extremely dysfunctional families are more prone to end up being massively needy or end up in confrontations.  The older I have got and the more people I have met the more I appreciate the dull suburban boredom of my own childhood and teenage years and now aspire for that for my own family.

One of my wife's childhood friends, who has now been jetisoned from our lives, was a complete energy drain, victim as described here.  Her family was a complete car crash - her mum and dad married very young, he was a musician and when they were teenagers a very cool, fun guy who promised her this amazing life.  Afrer they got married and had a shedload of kids, it became clear he wasn't going to be a musical superstar, he was basically an alcoholic drug abuser and it was left to the mother to provide for the family.  This lead her to be extremely bitter and resentful towards him and, by extension, their kids.  She ended up creating children who competed for her affection and attention, played them as favourites against each other which made them all extremely unhappy.  Her daughters have all had extremely poor relationships with men, partly because I think they just throw their lot in with anyone who paid them interest.  At least two of her daughters have had multiple relationships with married men and have actively pursued their friends current and ex boyfirends and husbands, a very odd pattern of behaviour and one that I think must be related in some way to their upbringing.

Of course, there are plenty of people who come from complete car crash families who are fine and people who come from families akin to the Waltons who are awful.  But I'm sure it makes a difference.

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 hour ago, ICTChris said:

At least two of her daughters have had multiple relationships with married men and have actively pursued their friends current and ex boyfirends and husbands, 

Did ye?

[ICTChris]

Did ye?

No.

[welshbairn]

1 hour ago, ICTChris said:

 

No.

 

Might be believable if you weren't so defensive about it.

Edited November 11, 2020 by welshbairn

[Robin.Hood]

14 hours ago, RH33 said:

I don’t often read this thread to be honest. 
 

You should.

Life lessons to be had.

[Dee Man]

1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

Did ye?

 

1 hour ago, ICTChris said:

 

No.

 

This is where the infamous, no context, "I am a bad man" post stems from, isn't it Chris?

You're amongst friends here, be honest. 

[throbber]

6 hours ago, tamthebam said:

Useful things to remember;

1) there's an "off" button. Why not switch off P&B and go and do something less boring instead?

2) there's an "Ignore" button

3) when you're in a hole stop digging.

4) this all kicked off because a bot revived a dead thread to sell hoodie printing

Unfortunately you can’t ignore red dots which hurt far more than any post ever could.

[Raidernation]

Unfortunately you can’t ignore red dots which hurt far more than any post ever could.

Really?
I have no idea if I have had now, or at any time, any red dots.

[Derry Alli]

9 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Really?
I have no idea if I have had now, or at any time, any red dots.

You've given 81 and received 82.

[Szamo's_Ammo]

In these unprecedented times, I find myself thinking back to something one of my best friends from this website said during a night out in February:

"You know something, you learn far more from your red dots than you do from your green ones."

Live. Laugh. Love.

[Gaz]

An absolute head's gone on the Scotland v Serbia thread from @Carnoustie Young Guvnor who quite simply can't fathom why some folk love their club team more than the national team.

[DA Baracus]

1 hour ago, Gaz said:

An absolute head's gone on the Scotland v Serbia thread from @Carnoustie Young Guvnor who quite simply can't fathom why some folk love their club team more than the national team.

Everything that tedious tosser does is an act. A sad, tragic act, and I can't believe folk are still falling for it.

[Benjamin_Nevis]

Everything that tedious tosser does is an act. A sad, tragic act, and I can't believe folk are still falling for it.

I'm surprised his account survived making up a story about being abused tbh. Fucking weirdo.

[HTG]

I've not been keeping up with this but has anyone out-Trumped  Trump in the last week? There should be a Nobel Prize for Head's Gone and the fat tango c**t could have his moment in the sun. 

[Getcher]

13 hours ago, Szamo's_Ammo said:

In these unprecedented times, I find myself thinking back to something one of my best friends from this website said during a night out in February:

"You know something, you learn far more from your red dots than you do from your green ones."

Live. Laugh. Love.

You are the worst poster on this site, you're easily the most predictable, you really can't say anything without it being someone else's patter, no originality, no thoughts of your own. At least Marshy and the virgin one have their own style. You, you're a little wannabe, it's funny  In a cringey way. 

[The_Kincardine]

3 minutes ago, Getcher said:

You are the worst poster on this site, you're easily the most predictable, you really can't say anything without it being someone else's patter, no originality, no thoughts of your own. 

@Szamo's_Ammodoes try a bit too hard but he'd not be in my top 5 posters who are, "1. Easily the most predictable, 2, (who) can't say anything without it being someone else's patter, 3. No originality, 4.  No thoughts of your (their) own."

By that categorisation he isn't even in the Top 5 Dundonians.