port-ton Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 A friend of mine joined the Police and ended up getting murdered by her policeman boyfriend. At the funeral a coachload of cops appeared, much to the disgust of the family and friends. At the church, the police took one side whilst everyone else glowered at them from the other. The Minister said his piece about her, an ex-boyfriend said his piece, then a senior cop stood up to say his piece. But as he stood, there was an outbreak of angry muttering from our side and he looked a bit embarrassed then sat down again. They hung around until the burial then almost ran back onto their bus. Late to this thread but I'm not understanding the hatred towards the police in this story. Their friend and colleague has presumably been murdered and it sounds like they wanted to pay respect. Just because they had the same job as the murderer doesn't make them in any way responsible for it. If your friend had been murdered by a funeral attendee from another funeral would everyone at your friends funeral just have sat around growling at each other? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 My daughter used to work as a care assistant. She used to go to so many funerals that we bought her a black "death" hat that she could wear to them all. Glad I was never under her "care"... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 (edited) When at school a girls mother in the year below had suddenly died. Funeral was on a Saturday when I worked in a Somerfield which was opposite the church where many mourners had parked their cars in our car park. As the delivery truck turned up, one the mourners had parked in the middle of a thoroughfare so it couldn't get in. I noticed the car had the hand brake off decided to try and push it forward to get the lorry in. The Alarm went off. Cue a dozen folk coming out the church with their keys aimlessly pointing their keys at the car park to try and if it was their car (wall was in way). Eventually the right owner came out and it had stopped. Once back in the church the lorry driver and every other employee collapsed laughing whilst I felt like a total sh*tebag. A few days later the girl (a total wid and a dirty btw) came in with her pal buying black bags and cleaning stuff. I was in said aisle and stupidly said 'party last night was it?'. Was then told off her pal that they were cleaning up the house after the wake was held there. What little chance I had of mourning ride was booted in to touch, did end up pumping the pal though. You mean hearse? Edited May 16, 2016 by Mortar Bored 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Just thought of a weird one from a couple of years ago. My step-mum's father died and at the pub afterwards my step-mum and my step-brother's wife took the opportunity of having us all together to get some pleasant group photos of us all smiling. Seemed a really strange idea to me, it's not like we were all together for a party. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Was at my mate's gran's funeral the other week and some wee wummin's phone went off behind me. Was nearly for ramming said phone up her arse. Was at a funeral, and a couple of phones had went off, and folk had got up and left. Outside my mum was all that it was terrible and lack of respect. It was then pointed out that the guys that had left were all in the local lifeboat crew. One of the few acceptable reasons for a phone to go off in a funeral, I am assuming the wee wummin was not in the RNLI and just a stupid ignorant boot. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 (edited) This same thing happened at my great aunt's funeral about 4 years ago. She was just shy of 90 IIRC and was in a bad way for a good couple of years and after the funeral we went to a hotel for a drink after and it turned out to be a hell of a laugh, family members we hadnt seen in years and even meeting relatives we had never met before and we all got on famously and came together for a group photo before going our separate ways. ETA - The same thing as what Sweetpete said not the post above. Edited May 16, 2016 by throbber 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 After my mother died I went "home" to my father's house in Thurso for a couple of days, then it was back to Aberdeen for the cremation. On the way south the day before the cremation I piled my works van into the back of a truck, rendering it undrivable, Got passed by my Father about an hour later with me in the passenger seat and my van on the back of atow truck. Had to pull into a layby to reassure my Father I was ok, he was not happy with me once he found me ok! Daggers from Dad for the rest of the day! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 The last funeral I went to on my side of the family ended up in a mass brawl at the Toll Bar in Methil. It started when my born-again evangelising Christian aunt pissed off one too many people with her "Have you invited our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ into your heart?". My cousin told her to do one, she said he was going to burn like the uncle we had just buried (whom she didn't like), his girlfriend started shouting the odds which got her a slap from the God-botherer and it all kicked off from there. Police, ambulances etc. My mum was a District Nurse and next day all her patients were going "Did you hear about the fighting up at the Toll Bar? It was the xxx family - are you related to them nurse?" My mum denied all knowledge despite the plaster on her hand from a broken glass. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Hopefully the fighting was due to folk jumping the queue to kick your aunt in the pie. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 The last funeral I went to on my side of the family ended up in a mass brawl at the Toll Bar in Methil. It started when my born-again evangelising Christian aunt pissed off one too many people with her "Have you invited our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ into your heart?". My cousin told her to do one, she said he was going to burn like the uncle we had just buried (whom she didn't like), his girlfriend started shouting the odds which got her a slap from the God-botherer and it all kicked off from there. Police, ambulances etc. My mum was a District Nurse and next day all her patients were going "Did you hear about the fighting up at the Toll Bar? It was the xxx family - are you related to them nurse?" My mum denied all knowledge despite the plaster on her hand from a broken glass. Why was she in the pub in the first place? At my brother-in-law's funeral my wife's born again sister didn't go to the pub with the rest of us after the service but went home. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Why was she in the pub in the first place? At my brother-in-law's funeral my wife's born again sister didn't go to the pub with the rest of us after the service but went home. She was an alcoholic. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Went to a pal's funeral last year and at the get together afterwards I bumped into a woman from our village. She's known locally as a bit of a medium and mentioned to me that the deceased had recently been in touch with a message for the family. I was sorely tempted to tell her that yes, it would be a great idea to tell them now, so that I could witness the #scenes but completely bottled it and make a sharp exit. She decided not to tell them apparently. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Aye best to get done before they bury her. Otherwise, I never really feel like it after all that digging. ) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QPStu Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Over 12 years ago now, I was at my Granda's brother's funeral. It was a very poignant occasion, an appropriate memorial to him, until we got to the cemetery. After he had been lowered into his grave, I thought "well that was a nice send off" only it wasn't over. One of his nephews (my Mum's cousin) brought out a CD player and we all had to stand there for up to another 5 minutes while he played the Celine Dion tune "Because You Loved Me." I expected the deceased to jump out at any time telling his nephew to shut it. My Dad and I have a similar sense of humour and we were really stifling the giggles much to my Mum's dismay. Unfortunately my Gran (same side of the family) died on Friday so we have the harsh reality of organising her funeral. It's on Friday with the purvey at my brother's boss's hotel, soup, steak pie and tea and coffee for all. I'm one of the ones carrying the coffin and I'm doing the eulogy and really hope I don't muck either task up. If there are any significant highlights eg professional mourners or fights, I'll report back. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Over 12 years ago now, I was at my Granda's brother's funeral. It was a very poignant occasion, an appropriate memorial to him, until we got to the cemetery. After he had been lowered into his grave, I thought "well that was a nice send off" only it wasn't over. One of his nephews (my Mum's cousin) brought out a CD player and we all had to stand there for up to another 5 minutes while he played the Celine Dion tune "Because You Loved Me." I expected the deceased to jump out at any time telling his nephew to shut it. My Dad and I have a similar sense of humour and we were really stifling the giggles much to my Mum's dismay. Unfortunately my Gran (same side of the family) died on Friday so we have the harsh reality of organising her funeral. It's on Friday with the purvey at my brother's boss's hotel, soup, steak pie and tea and coffee for all. I'm one of the ones carrying the coffin and I'm doing the eulogy and really hope I don't muck either task up. If there are any significant highlights eg professional mourners or fights, I'll report back. You neglected to say where it was. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QPStu Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 (edited) You neglected to say where it was. ^^^^^ Professional mourner. PS south side of Glasgow since you asked Edited May 16, 2016 by QPStu 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 You neglected to say where it was. Granny Danger is looking for a funeral or 2 to drop in on 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 ^^^^^ Professional mourner. PS south side of Glasgow since you asked Chuck in some Empire biscuits and it's a deal. Sorry for your loss and all that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Want any tips for the speech? I'm thinking along the lines of a modified P&B Best Man speech ideas thing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QPStu Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Chuck in some Empire biscuits and it's a deal. Sorry for your loss and all that. I'll try. It's what she would have wanted! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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