Funeral shenanigans

[Florentine_Pogen]

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/dec/16/obituary-viral-renay-mandel-corren-texas

"Some obituary notices open with the grand achievements of a life well-lived, or the tender details of a person’s passing with loved ones at their side. The death in El Paso, Texas, of Renay Mandel Corren, however, was marked in somewhat more unorthodox fashion. “The bawdy, fertile, redheaded matriarch of a sprawling Jewish-Mexican-Redneck American family has kicked it,” it read."

[peasy23]

[tamthebam]

3 hours ago, peasy23 said:

 

Tragic really.

He was found covered in raspberry sauce and hundreds and thousands.

He'd topped himself 

[peasy23]

Tragic really.
He was found covered in raspberry sauce and hundreds and thousands.
He'd topped himself 

Instead of scattering his ashes, they sprinkled them.

[scottsdad]

We have an appointment with the funeral director tomorrow. All going tits up already. 

My M-i-L didn't speak to her eldest. Barely spoke to my wife or one of her sisters, and lived with one sister. She made no provision for the funeral. Lived on benefits all her life. But in her last days she was talking about all she wanted for the funeral. Wanted a nice big send-off. 

All I can say - in my wife's words -  is "f**k that". 

And it looks like most of the costs are coming our way. Siblings all pleading poverty but still hoping for a "proper goodbye". 

[Florentine_Pogen]

3 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

We have an appointment with the funeral director tomorrow. All going tits up already. 

My M-i-L didn't speak to her eldest. Barely spoke to my wife or one of her sisters, and lived with one sister. She made no provision for the funeral. Lived on benefits all her life. But in her last days she was talking about all she wanted for the funeral. Wanted a nice big send-off. 

All I can say - in my wife's words -  is "f**k that". 

And it looks like most of the costs are coming our way. Siblings all pleading poverty but still hoping for a "proper goodbye". 

 

['WellDel]

21 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

We have an appointment with the funeral director tomorrow. All going tits up already. 

My M-i-L didn't speak to her eldest. Barely spoke to my wife or one of her sisters, and lived with one sister. She made no provision for the funeral. Lived on benefits all her life. But in her last days she was talking about all she wanted for the funeral. Wanted a nice big send-off. 

All I can say - in my wife's words -  is "f**k that". 

And it looks like most of the costs are coming our way. Siblings all pleading poverty but still hoping for a "proper goodbye". 

Sorry for your wife's loss, I'm guessing that although it looks like they were basically estranged, she will no doubt feel some sense of loss.

As far as the funeral costs are concerned, if relationships are so fractured I'd be fucked if I/we were the ones expected to foot a large part of the bill, whether other family members are pleading poverty or not and also bearing in mind the estranged party has made no provision at all but expects a big send off.

My own MIL, through ill health, has also spent most of her days on benefits, however one thing she has always done has been to pay into a wee policy to help see her off when the time comes. To make no effort at all and expect some lavish do is selfish in the extreme. I'd be making it clear I'm willing to contribute, but not significantly more so than anyone else , especially given the circumstances and if it's to be a modest affair then so be it. She's no longer here to know the difference anyway. I know everyone and every family is different though, so hope you manage to find an agreeable solution without top much further aggro.

[scottsdad]

6 minutes ago, 'WellDel said:

Sorry for your wife's loss, I'm guessing that although it looks like they were basically estranged, she will no doubt feel some sense of loss.

As far as the funeral costs are concerned, if relationships are so fractured I'd be fucked if I/we were the ones expected to foot a large part of the bill, whether other family members are pleading poverty or not and also bearing in mind the estranged party has made no provision at all but expects a big send off.

My own MIL, through ill health, has also spent most of her days on benefits, however one thing she has always done has been to pay into a wee policy to help see her off when the time comes. To make no effort at all and expect some lavish do is selfish in the extreme. I'd be making it clear I'm willing to contribute, but not significantly more so than anyone else , especially given the circumstances and if it's to be a modest affair then so be it. She's no longer here to know the difference anyway. I know everyone and every family is different though, so hope you manage to find an agreeable solution without top much further aggro.

Thanks,

This is pretty much exactly where we are, and selfish is the word to describe my MIL. It's why in various ways her kids turned their backs on her.

I am 43 - soon (once this is all done with) I am absolutely sorting out my own funeral costs. I refuse to leave my own kids with a shit sandwich like this one. 

[invergowrie arab]

1 hour ago, scottsdad said:

We have an appointment with the funeral director tomorrow. All going tits up already. 

My M-i-L didn't speak to her eldest. Barely spoke to my wife or one of her sisters, and lived with one sister. She made no provision for the funeral. Lived on benefits all her life. But in her last days she was talking about all she wanted for the funeral. Wanted a nice big send-off. 

All I can say - in my wife's words -  is "f**k that". 

And it looks like most of the costs are coming our way. Siblings all pleading poverty but still hoping for a "proper goodbye". 

If she had any money in the bank the solicitor can arrange for that to be released for the funeral.

Anything you lay out can also go against the estate.

Sounds like you will still end up out-of pocket but grasping relatives won't get anything and that's the main thing.

[ICTChris]

When I die, I want all my assets sold and the money used to buy gold, jewels and precious metals.  These will be placed in my coffin so when my body is dug up by archeologists in 2000 years they'll think I was some sort of tribal chief or raiding warrior king. 

[scottsdad]

1 minute ago, invergowrie arab said:

If she had any money in the bank the solicitor can arrange for that to be released for the funeral.

Anything you lay out can also go against the estate.

Sounds like you will still end up out-of pocket but grasping relatives won't get anything and that's the main thing.

She had f**k all. Lived a whole life on benefits, lived in a council house, no car or anything. House full of junk. Always skint. 

[Dawson Park Boy]

6 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

She had f**k all. Lived a whole life on benefits, lived in a council house, no car or anything. House full of junk. Always skint. 

Do whatever your wife wants to do.

If you are awkward your wife will blame you.

Unfortunately, blood is thicker than water.

[Billy Jean King]

When I die, I want all my assets sold and the money used to buy gold, jewels and precious metals.  These will be placed in my coffin so when my body is dug up by archeologists in 2000 years they'll think I was some sort of tribal chief or raiding warrior king. 

In that case get the gold cast into a big f**k off PnB medallion on a chain. Will be fantastic to think of the equivalent of Tony Robinson explaining to what's left of civilisation what Pie and Bovril was all about.

[RiffRaff]

1 hour ago, scottsdad said:

We have an appointment with the funeral director tomorrow. All going tits up already. 

My M-i-L didn't speak to her eldest. Barely spoke to my wife or one of her sisters, and lived with one sister. She made no provision for the funeral. Lived on benefits all her life. But in her last days she was talking about all she wanted for the funeral. Wanted a nice big send-off. 

All I can say - in my wife's words -  is "f**k that". 

And it looks like most of the costs are coming our way. Siblings all pleading poverty but still hoping for a "proper goodbye". 

If your Mother in Law lived on Benefits then the Local Authority should arrange a basic low cost funeral and meet the bill.

Might be worthwhile giving them a call.

[19QOS19]

We have an appointment with the funeral director tomorrow. All going tits up already. 
My M-i-L didn't speak to her eldest. Barely spoke to my wife or one of her sisters, and lived with one sister. She made no provision for the funeral. Lived on benefits all her life. But in her last days she was talking about all she wanted for the funeral. Wanted a nice big send-off. 
All I can say - in my wife's words -  is "f**k that". 
And it looks like most of the costs are coming our way. Siblings all pleading poverty but still hoping for a "proper goodbye". 

I wonder if the siblings are as bad as my dad's:-

When my papa* died he left over 5K to bury my nana. Over the course of the next few years that money was completely squandered by the auntie who was my nana's "carer" and her scumbag offspring. By the time it came to burying my nana there wasn't a fucking penny left. Sadly my dad knew this would happen and so had began saving for his share of her funeral costs as my mum had said there was no way he was using their joint funds to contribute to her funeral. It may sound harsh but I totally get where she was coming from.

She had 6 kids in total my nana and 5 of them contributed to the cost apart from one. Can you guess which one?? The "carer"** (who received money for caring for my nana btw) was too skint to contribute. But she did make a big show of how SHE would do the buffet for the wake. What a hero. So the other 5 siblings all chipped in £800 each and she thought she was fantastic for organising a shitty buffet for around 30/40 folk. The icing on the cake for me was when a 'family' group chat was created and soon after the daughter of the auntie puts a message in saying that "Mum really didn't want to do this guys but she is struggling for the buffet and was wondering if we could all chip in". I burst out laughing with rage and said to my mum they can get fucked. Said daughter had already been asking for contributions for flowers - which again they could go get fucked as this was additional flowers, not the ones that were already being covered by the original costs. And when they were £20 or so short and she announced it on the group chat, her brother piped up with "Don't worry, I'll give you that money to cover it" - what a hero!

I'll say again - my papa left over five thousand pounds so this didn't happen and the three folk in that story helped spend that money and then were acting as if they were doing good deeds by arranging things that would have been covered by the fucking money. Absolute fucking scumbags. And as expected, they did their best to be the centre of attention at the actual funeral. I'm generally an "everybody is equal" type person but that lot are truly scumbags and really couldn't seem to see past the fact they pissed the money up against the wall and yet felt hard done by that they had to fork out a couple of quid for a buffet when the rest of them were £800 down. Needless to say I don't speak to that mob now.

Apologies for the rant! Hopefully your wife's lot aren't as bad as that and it's some consolation [emoji38]

* Get it up eez.

** Carer is massive push. On the rare occasion I visited my nana would be in her PJs and look absolutely awful as she wasn't being washed. The reason I wouldn't go is because that lot had made the house their own and it was fucking filthy. Untidy and genuinely dirty. We're talking food scraps lying everywhere and hardly able to find a seat or walk about. No place for my then barely walking child.

[welshbairn]

58 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

I am 43 - soon (once this is all done with) I am absolutely sorting out my own funeral costs. I refuse to leave my own kids with a shit sandwich like this one. 

My Dad thought he'd done that with a local undertaker, inflation and "extras" meant it only paid for a small fraction of the costs, check the fine print.

[scottsdad]

11 minutes ago, RiffRaff said:

If your Mother in Law lived on Benefits then the Local Authority should arrange a basic low cost funeral and meet the bill.

Might be worthwhile giving them a call.

Cheers, 

The one daughter she had who lived with her might be able to apply for a grant but it will only cover part of the costs. The wife looked it up this morning, 

[HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows]

God, I fucking love p+b when it's like this! Proper fly on the wall docu drama shit, I can't get ebloodynough of it!!

[tamthebam]

1 hour ago, ICTChris said:

When I die, I want all my assets sold and the money used to buy gold, jewels and precious metals.  These will be placed in my coffin so when my body is dug up by archeologists in 2000 years they'll think I was some sort of tribal chief or raiding warrior king. 

Spike Milligan once said he'd like to be buried in a washing machine to puzzle future archaeologists.

It would be amusing if they found ICTChris's skull among the bling, got someone to recreate what he looked like and they came up with this: 

Spoiler

 

[ICTChris]

1 hour ago, tamthebam said:

Spike Milligan once said he'd like to be buried in a washing machine to puzzle future archaeologists.

It would be amusing if they found ICTChris's skull among the bling, got someone to recreate what he looked like and they came up with this: 

  Hide contents

 

How do you know I don't look like that?