Honest_Man#1 Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 1 minute ago, Jacksgranda said: That's what ministers do, (not sure about the extra money bit) some are a bit more diplomatic than others. Best just to nod along without committing yourself to anything. I don’t really care if it’s just what they do though! If ‘being a rude, inconsiderate c**t’ to people at a really horrible time is ‘what they do’ then they can just f**k off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 O.K. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 12 hours ago, Tony Ferrino said: Ashes. Its a new thread, but what do you do with ashes? My Dad died a few months ago and we're wondering where to spread his ashes. I’m torn on this. Scattering too soon seems unduly heartless but if you don’t they very quickly become a fixture in the home that you can’t bear to part with. My old boy bided in the utility room cupboard for a year or so until me and the previous Mrs a-p went our separate ways. At that point he was repatriated to my mother’s new house in the cupboard under the stairs where I expect he will continue to reside until such times as we have to deal with her funeral. Mrs a-p II’s father has similarly taken up permanent residence in the under stair cupboard in her mother’s house. Our first dog’s ashes are halfway up a hill on one of his favourite walks, hellish blizzard when we did it but I was determined he was going before the end of that year and, of course, we had left it to the last possible day. Meant we had the spot to ourselves but equally meant we weren’t for hanging around. We still walk over it every month or so just to check in on him. The second’s are still up on the bookcase but, again, he’s not getting to stay beyond the end of the year. I think over the Christmas holidays he’ll be going in his favourite burn that he always cooled off in after a decent walk. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 Our cat's ashes are sitting halfway up the stairs. Occasionally I trip over them. It's the way she would have wanted it. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 I have to share this classic funeral sketch from the peerless Dave Allen for those young ones who haven't seen it before. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sugna Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 On 19/10/2021 at 23:14, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: I was honoured to do this for my sister, English undertakers had no idea what we were on about and we were gifted cords and cards by a Kirkcaldy undertaker. Cord burns, IMO. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 14 hours ago, Tony Ferrino said: Ashes. Its a new thread, but what do you do with ashes? My Dad died a few months ago and we're wondering where to spread his ashes. Sure I've said before but don't spread ashes in the wind otherwise you'll end up like me and inhale your dearly departed and be coughing them back up for days. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 On 20/10/2021 at 15:37, Melanius Mullarkey said: Im going to get cremated. On a giant gas hob ring. Need Chernobyl Reactor 4 for you ya fat bassa. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 16 minutes ago, 101 said: Sure I've said before but don't spread ashes in the wind otherwise you'll end up like me and inhale your dearly departed and be coughing them back up for days. He was from Dundee and I did briefly think about walking out on the road bridge, but the updraught would cause similar problems. He'd also end up in any car with its windows open. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 15 hours ago, Tony Ferrino said: Ashes. Its a new thread, but what do you do with ashes? My Dad died a few months ago and we're wondering where to spread his ashes. We sprinkled my Dad's ashes off a footbridge over the river in Inverness, taking note of the wind direction. A couple of jokes about his swimming ability, and at a quiet time of day. Went ok. My sisters got a tree planted for him too, on one of the small islands with walk ways. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 My Stepmother (who I do not get on with in the slightest) called me one day to advise that she'd spread my dad's ashes, without consulting me, out the back door as "he always enjoyed it out there" probably chucked him out when she was emptying the hoover 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 3 hours ago, tamthebam said: I have to share this classic funeral sketch from the peerless Dave Allen for those young ones who haven't seen it before. Automatic greenie for Dave Allen. Didn't even watch to see if it's the sketch I'm assuming it is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 Obligatory Lebowski. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 On 19/10/2021 at 22:00, tamthebam said: I wonder how much it costs to hire those Nation of Islam looking guys you see carrying the coffin in that meme. Four of those dudes sashaying into Mortonhall with my box would be fun. That with the accompanying music sounds the business. Good business idea. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 (edited) 27 minutes ago, BFTD said: Obligatory Lebowski. Gif really tied the thread together. Edited October 21, 2021 by Slenderman 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cb_diamond Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 20 hours ago, Tony Ferrino said: Ashes. Its a new thread, but what do you do with ashes? My Dad died a few months ago and we're wondering where to spread his ashes. My father in law's ashes are in a wee mini urn on the shelf of our TV cabinet. My Mrs doesn't want to scatter them. I legitimately apologise to him every time I have to move him for dusting purposes 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 On 19/10/2021 at 22:46, oaksoft said: I've told my family that when I die there is to be no funeral and absolutely no reception of any kind. I've warned them that if they spent a single penny more than absolutely necessary to cremate me and collect the ashes that I'll come back and haunt them for the rest of their lives for being utterly brainless. You celebrate someone's life with them, while they are still alive. Once they are dead, no amount of guilt-spending on expensive funerals will change the fact that they are gone. They'll be on the randan for a fortnight 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 2 hours ago, cb_diamond said: My father in law's ashes are in a wee mini urn on the shelf of our TV cabinet. My Mrs doesn't want to scatter them. I legitimately apologise to him every time I have to move him for dusting purposes As in his daughter should be doing the dusting? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted October 22, 2021 Share Posted October 22, 2021 On 19/10/2021 at 22:46, oaksoft said: I've told my family that when I die there is to be no funeral and absolutely no reception of any kind. I've warned them that if they spent a single penny more than absolutely necessary to cremate me and collect the ashes that I'll come back and haunt them for the rest of their lives for being utterly brainless. I'm over 60 and live in an area populated by retirees and assorted coffin dodgers and get regular junk mail about 'meals to your door' or 'disabled showers' or 'DIY hip replacements using dental adhesive' - ok so I made that last one up but you get the point. Today's missive was from Pure Cremation who, for about £1,700 , will collect your cold, dead body and then burn it and either scatter your ashes somewhere in England or put them in an urn and send them back to your loved ones. No ceremony needed or wanted. Sounds like the perfect option for you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted October 22, 2021 Share Posted October 22, 2021 24 minutes ago, The_Kincardine said: I'm over 60 and live in an area populated by retirees and assorted coffin dodgers and get regular junk mail about 'meals to your door' or 'disabled showers' or 'DIY hip replacements using dental adhesive' - ok so I made that last one up but you get the point. Today's missive was from Pure Cremation who, for about £1,700 , will collect your cold, dead body and then burn it and either scatter your ashes somewhere in England or put them in an urn and send them back to your loved ones. No ceremony needed or wanted. Sounds like the perfect option for you. Love how you bring the Lolz to every thread. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.