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Funeral shenanigans


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Funeral plans are by and large a waste of time and only cover costs if you take one out when you are born and die when you are 198 or somesuch. You get a free pen though. 

Stick your dough into an ISA or some such. Ive already told the bairn the when i go just get the cheapest cremation you can and chuck my ashes into the sea.

(im outliving the wife, watch me).

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Here's a window to the 21st century.

My brother-in-law hasn't spoken to his mum since the 1990s. Never saw her, never spoke to her, no birthday cards, nothing. He didn't come to visit her in her final days. He hasn't wanted anything to do with her for years and years.

But all of that is washed away now! Now, he has been on Facebook posting a loving, poetic tribute to his "lovely" mother. How he wishes he could hold her in his arms one more time. 

My wife's reaction:

madmen-vomit.gif

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4 hours ago, 19QOS19 said:


ICarer is massive push. On the rare occasion I visited my nana would be in her PJs and look absolutely awful as she wasn't being washed. The reason I wouldn't go is because that lot had made the house their own and it was fucking filthy. Untidy and genuinely dirty. We're talking food scraps lying everywhere and hardly able to find a seat or walk about. No place for my then barely walking child.

So basically your family all left the caring responsibilities to one of the siblings who may have been struggling themselves and the place wasn't up to your high standards on the odd occasion you graced the place with your presence.

But they all stuck 800 quid in when she died and the carer is the arsehole?

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2 hours ago, scottsdad said:

Here's a window to the 21st century.

My brother-in-law hasn't spoken to his mum since the 1990s. Never saw her, never spoke to her, no birthday cards, nothing. He didn't come to visit her in her final days. He hasn't wanted anything to do with her for years and years.

But all of that is washed away now! Now, he has been on Facebook posting a loving, poetic tribute to his "lovely" mother. How he wishes he could hold her in his arms one more time. 

My wife's reaction:

 

 

It’s a long established phenomenon that people who had bad relationships with a deceased family member struggle particularly badly to deal with bereavement 

your brother in law is likely dealing with guilt and regret that he didn’t fix a problem for 20 years and time has now run out

 

 

 

 

Edited by topcat(The most tip top)
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16 minutes ago, topcat(The most tip top) said:

 

It’s a long established phenomenon that people who had bad relationships with a deceased family member struggle particularly badly to deal with bereavement 

your brother in law is likely dealing with guilt and regret that he didn’t fix a problem for 20 years and time has now run out

 

 

 

 

Nah. He's just a dobber. 

He has said that he won't contribute to the funeral costs. She wasn't in his life. 

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5 minutes ago, oaksoft said:

The Co-op do a "straight to cremation" service for just under £1100.

The fee for cremation is standard whether you're 8 stone or 28 stone.

Obviously, the more there is of you, the more gas it takes to get rid of you.

I'm on a crusade to get my fucking monies worth.

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2 hours ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said:

The fee for cremation is standard whether you're 8 stone or 28 stone.

Obviously, the more there is of you, the more gas it takes to get rid of you.

I'm on a crusade to get my fucking monies worth.

Effectively, it’s a bulk discount 

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5 hours ago, oaksoft said:

Worth saying again - the funeral industry is deliberately designed to con grieving guilt-stricken relatives into emptying their wallets.

It's a shame people feel guilted into spending thousands of pounds at the worst time of their lives.

And don't even get me started on providing sandwiches and nibbles for people you don't even see outside weddings and funerals.

The Co-op do a "straight to cremation" service for just under £1100.

It's a perfectly respectable way to go, relatively cheap and if there's money left over have a quiet family meal of remembrance if needed.

Paying thousands of pounds out of some misguided sense of duty is mental.

Of course, if anyone actually wants to spend that sort of money feel free....

In the village I'm from it's still the joiner who is also the undertaker rather than big business.

When my granny died, the undertaker was round, list of questions about what we wanted and was all sorted in a couple of days. No fleecing for extras. 

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8 hours ago, oaksoft said:

Worth saying again - the funeral industry is deliberately designed to con grieving guilt-stricken relatives into emptying their wallets.

It's a shame people feel guilted into spending thousands of pounds at the worst time of their lives.

 

Fair point but it used to be a lot worse for upselling

 

 

A1E4472D-7F53-4A44-9F89-D0AB3A5A6DB4.jpeg

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So basically your family all left the caring responsibilities to one of the siblings who may have been struggling themselves and the place wasn't up to your high standards on the odd occasion you graced the place with your presence.
But they all stuck 800 quid in when she died and the carer is the arsehole?
No. That's absolutely not what happened but you feel free to think that if you want.

Though that's probably what they thought in their warped minds as well. They are genuine scumbags of course so I wouldn't really want to share similar views to them.
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9 hours ago, oaksoft said:

Worth saying again - the funeral industry is deliberately designed to con grieving guilt-stricken relatives into emptying their wallets.

It's a shame people feel guilted into spending thousands of pounds at the worst time of their lives.

And don't even get me started on providing sandwiches and nibbles for people you don't even see outside weddings and funerals.

The Co-op do a "straight to cremation" service for just under £1100.

It's a perfectly respectable way to go, relatively cheap and if there's money left over have a quiet family meal of remembrance if needed.

Paying thousands of pounds out of some misguided sense of duty is mental.

Of course, if anyone actually wants to spend that sort of money feel free....

Ok, any time you're ready.

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Here's a window to the 21st century.
My brother-in-law hasn't spoken to his mum since the 1990s. Never saw her, never spoke to her, no birthday cards, nothing. He didn't come to visit her in her final days. He hasn't wanted anything to do with her for years and years.
But all of that is washed away now! Now, he has been on Facebook posting a loving, poetic tribute to his "lovely" mother. How he wishes he could hold her in his arms one more time. 
My wife's reaction:
madmen-vomit.gif
 
It’s a long established phenomenon that people who had bad relationships with a deceased family member struggle particularly badly to deal with bereavement 
your brother in law is likely dealing with guilt and regret that he didn’t fix a problem for 20 years and time has now run out
 
 
 
 
Nah. He's just a dobber. 
He has said that he won't contribute to the funeral costs. She wasn't in his life. 

Aye it sounds more like the modern day phenomenon of someone gagging for likes on social media. It's bizarre behaviour to me tbh.

Saw a good example the other day when I was looking up who Aaron Carter was. I didn't know who he was but his age made me look into it. The post below sums it up for me. I may be picking it up wrong but it reads to me of someone who probably knew the boy in passing and felt the need to put their two cents worth it. An absolutely needless and self-centred post IMO.

Starting a post about someone who died with "This (person's name) news is heartbreaking" doesn't really give of vibes of someone who had a meaningful relationship with them IMO. Then the "I'll look out some photos" - rather than put them in the same post, but of course I won't get the additional likes if I do it altogether.

0d9453a34d5c1edc5439168e58e99a00.jpg
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5 hours ago, RH33 said:

In the village I'm from it's still the joiner who is also the undertaker rather than big business.

When my granny died, the undertaker was round, list of questions about what we wanted and was all sorted in a couple of days. No fleecing for extras. 

In days gone by, if you got a visit from the joiner you knew your time was up.

They would always carry an umbrella, (more subtle than a foot rule) to measure you up with, (2 umbrellas and a handle) for example.

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16 hours ago, topcat(The most tip top) said:

 

It’s a long established phenomenon that people who had bad relationships with a deceased family member struggle particularly badly to deal with bereavement 

your brother in law is likely dealing with guilt and regret that he didn’t fix a problem for 20 years and time has now run out

Yip, my sister in law moved to the other side of the world about 30 years ago, and has "unresolved issues" with her dad and hasnt actually spoken to him for 15 years, he hasnt seen his grandchildren.........................

She is really intelligent (degrees / jobswise etc), but a bit unhinged and screams like a banshee when challenged - when her dad dies (hes in his late 80s and not great health) there is no question; she will completely lose her shit, fly over here and make a complete shop front of herself at the funeral - should be fun😬.

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9th of October 47 yo Nook..

Never went to the 3 prayers.

Day of the funeral. Was told I'll speak, ok.

Stood next to the box with Nook, there, it was still an open case, he HE WAS WEARING A MASK

Did my talk, then  then took it off. him.

RiP

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55 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

9th of October 47 yo Nook..

Never went to the 3 prayers.

Day of the funeral. Was told I'll speak, ok.

Stood next to the box with Nook, there, it was still an open case, he HE WAS WEARING A MASK

Did my talk, then  then took it off. him.

RiP

Nook? Three prayers?

this post needs footnotes

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12 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

I wasn't expecting challenged to be the operative word here and I'm a little disappointed.

🤭You would be more disappointed if you saw her - tells us she lives where she does "because its such an outdoorsy culture" but has sadly embraced more of the American diet than the mountain biking and hiking..................

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