Central Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 What's the most exciting thing to happen in your office? I enjoy when the head of HR comes down in her small skirts despite being 50+. My office also includes two people who genuinely cannot put a sentence together and sit in silence all day. How is your office? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMFC Mitchy Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 An absolute clustercunto brigade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinkinFighter Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 The day something fell off the roof and we all got to go home. Good times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 The swipe door wasn't working today so it was unlocked. V exciting stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid android Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 I currently share an office with a woman who is certifiably mental - I might actually strangle her one day. In some ways, I hope I do. Another lassie in the office has terrific chebs, and a great ass - she had the painters in for a couple of days last week, and her arse was rotten all fucking day long for both days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 About 3 months ago a fat woman fell off her seat. Also on a Wednesday at 10 the fire alarm goes off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 I used to work in a call centre where clients were not allowed to visit. We had to wear a shirt, tie and trousers every single day for absolutely no reason. Except one Friday it was Comic Relief, so for a £2 donation, we all got to wear our "own" clothes. So to be a bit zany, I wore a SHARK ATTACK t-shirt, which had a wee hole in the side where I'd been bitten, as well as some fake blood. I was told to go home and change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 About 3 months ago a fat woman fell off her seat. Also on a Wednesday at 10 the fire alarm goes off. Wednesday's at 2 for me. Knicker gripping stuff. Only losers have their fire alarm test on a Wednesday, our is at 11am on a Tuesday, sometimes the guy that does it lets it go on a wee bit too long to get us wondering. The highlight of our office is having the fire alarm go off cause some tool has burnt toast, then the boss goes mental because the fire service has to turn up everytime as it's a clinical NHS building. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 A guy at my girlfriends office cycles to work and doesn't shower and absolutely stinks. Nobody likes him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 Three new desks were moved into my office yesterday, speculation is rife. I start a new job on the floor above in two weeks time (same organisation). It has a secure door as it is the exams department. It's all very exciting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deefiant Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 In a previous office there was a "phantom shiter" who would randomly do a shite on the floor of the disabled toilets from time to time. Always on the tile that was dead centre. They never were apprehended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 In a previous office there was a "phantom shiter" who would randomly do a shite on the floor of the disabled toilets from time to time. Always on the tile that was dead centre. They never were apprehended. We had one that drew a smiley face in shite on the cubicle doors of the guys' bogs. Naturally, the cleaners went tonto, and all male members of staff were called together and informed that if caught it would be an instant sacking. Immortal quote from the boss making the speech. "If we catch the culprit red-handed....well, brown-handed...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 Occasionally somebody manages to send something to the plotter rather than the A4 printer as intended. When you hear the thing warming up, the excitement of guessing if it's someone's fcuk up is simply exhilarating. Eta: Sometimes the CEO would walk past my desk en route to somebody else's room. It was like the Queen had just walked past, just 6'5, scary and bald. Oh, and Tuesdays at 11. Sometimes it'll go off at 10:55 and everyone will awkwardly look at each other. Has any office ever got out of their seats within 30 secs of a non-scheduled alarm btw? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 Wednesday's at 2 for me. Knicker gripping stuff. Monday at 4 for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 We had one that drew a smiley face in shite on the cubicle doors of the guys' bogs. Naturally, the cleaners went tonto, and all male members of staff were called together and informed that if caught it would be an instant sacking. Immortal quote from the boss making the speech. "If we catch the culprit red-handed....well, brown-handed...." I think that's hilarious that someone is so deeply unhappy or perhaps just bored and that's what they resort to then the boss has to deal with it and keep a straight face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 Everyone is obsessed with tea and coffee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 I think that's hilarious that someone is so deeply unhappy or perhaps just bored and that's what they resort to then the boss has to deal with it and keep a straight face. It's probably the boss. "I'll be the last person they'll suspect, wahaha" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 About 3 months ago a fat woman fell off her seat. Also on a Wednesday at 10 the fire alarm goes off. Half 10!!! We have a 'green balcony' outside the hallway corridor where seagulls all fight with each other at this time of the year seeing as it's shagging season, can get pretty funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 Everyone is obsessed with tea and coffee ... and about coffee granules in the sugar tin. HR will get involved in this one day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 It's probably the boss. "I'll be the last person they'll suspect, wahaha" Either that or a woman under cover! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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