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Modern shite patter


Hampden Diehard

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"Why does 'Insert someone who isn't a rapper' look like they about to drop the hottest mix tape of 2016" is terrible patter

Heard yer da writes that type of stuff on his comedy Twitter account.

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I'm only 25 but the way young folk talk on twitter makes me incandescent with rage.

Lit

All the 'yer da' stuff

Goals - friendship goals, squad goals, relationship goals etc.

Using 'as f**k' as an adverb. Often shortened to just 'AF'

Zoomers - Not the word in itself but they way it has been hijacked by Jamie Ross-type political bores on twitter

I get incandescent about the superfluous use of words.

And business speak. I hate business speak.

Edited by Darren
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"Ball park figure" etc - we have all heard this pish far too often recently.

Yer Ma/Da - started off mildy amusing, but its safe to say its been pile-drived in to the ground by the chimps on Twitter.

Parody Twitter accounts - there are some gems in a pan of shit. The latest one I came across - something about footballers who look like other professions. There are some funny ones, but the majority are not. Bookmakers Twitter accounts trying to be funny too can go away.

# - do it on Twitter, but do not say this out loud.

GIF/Vine Twitter - again, some are funny, but when every tweet is a GIF or a vine about their current mood is unbearably boring.

Edited by Kejan
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