Dindeleux Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 One time in work I was taking a pee in the urinal closest to the mirror and noticed something on my face when I looked in the mirror. Not sure why I did this but after I'd stopped pee'ing I did a 90 degree turn and faced the mirror, leaning over the sink to take my face closer to the mirror but without putting the wee man back in and zipping back up - it was late at night and work was quiet so can only assume I was feeling quite relaxed hence my lack of urgency to put it back in. Anyway the punch line is that of course someone walked into the toilet in the middle of this action and (instead of just going "Awrite mate - got something on my face") I desperately tried to sort myself out quickly and as such made the situation 10x worse. It wasn't someone I knew either so no option to really explain and have a joke about it. It was pen I had on my face in case you are wondering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 One time in work I was taking a pee in the urinal closest to the mirror and noticed something on my face when I looked in the mirror. Not sure why I did this but after I'd stopped pee'ing I did a 90 degree turn and faced the mirror, leaning over the sink to take my face closer to the mirror but without putting the wee man back in and zipping back up - it was late at night and work was quiet so can only assume I was feeling quite relaxed hence my lack of urgency to put it back in. Anyway the punch line is that of course someone walked into the toilet in the middle of this action and (instead of just going "Awrite mate - got something on my face") I desperately tried to sort myself out quickly and as such made the situation 10x worse. It wasn't someone I knew either so no option to really explain and have a joke about it. It was pen I had on my face in case you are wondering. OK, who skimmed past this and thought WTF? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 One time in work I was taking a pee in the urinal closest to the mirror and noticed something on my face when I looked in the mirror. Not sure why I did this but after I'd stopped pee'ing I did a 90 degree turn and faced the mirror, leaning over the sink to take my face closer to the mirror but without putting the wee man back in and zipping back up - it was late at night and work was quiet so can only assume I was feeling quite relaxed hence my lack of urgency to put it back in. Anyway the punch line is that of course someone walked into the toilet in the middle of this action and (instead of just going "Awrite mate - got something on my face") I desperately tried to sort myself out quickly and as such made the situation 10x worse. It wasn't someone I knew either so no option to really explain and have a joke about it. It was pen I had on my face in case you are wondering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 I met my mate for a pint for the Bournemouth vs Everton game. No worries. I then noticed a couple of 'neds' walk in who tried to order 'venoms'. Knocked back so got double voddies and JD. Both c@#ts were wearing jobby catcher style tracksuits. This attire wouldn't be accepted in Partick boozers let alone Hyndland's #1 establishment. They were ugly c@#ts too. Turns out they smashed the bogs and stole my (broken) Thistle brolly. They were on the ching too as they left baby wipes around the smashed cistern. I never noticed as my knee is still fucked so I was using the disabled bog at the side door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Is that The Rock? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Is that The Rock? ^^^ guilty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Is that The Rock? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 My grandad today asked me if the Garth Chipper is still there in Letham. I'm considering disowning him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Is that The Rock? Fucking hell I recognised them as well. And they look like they've been done up since I've last been in too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Fucking hell I recognised them as well. And they look like they've been done up since I've last been in too. It's my local but haven't been in for a while tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikingTON Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 My grandad today asked me if the Garth Chipper is still there in Letham. I'm considering disowning him. A wise move: anyone who uses the word 'chipper' for a takeaway shop forfeits all rights as a member of society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 A wise move: anyone who uses the word 'chipper' for a takeaway shop forfeits all rights as a member of society. Even my Gran corrected him and said it was a chippy. Definite wrong one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Just watched the paddy power advert, the 1 were the guy has 1% on his phone and he puts his phone in his front jean pocket. Guys this is just so wrong, I've heard a few posters on here do it but I thought it was just a wee bit wackienest. Think these c*nts are just after the vibrational thrill. Weirdos. Wummin and their jack hammer rabbits thread for that pish. Beastly basterts. Front jean pocket is the correct place for your phone, you beast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 ^^^ +1 from the Pickpockets' Guild Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Front jean pocket is for guys with wee c*cks, just so they can say they're packing 5 inches. Back pocket is the place just like your wallet. Phone and wallet in back pocket? Utter beast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Presumably Larry doesn't sit down over the course of his day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Presumably Larry doesn't sit down over the course of his day. ... No, that's just too easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Making a video of your children singing a song about noncing? https://mobile.twitter.com/nufcproud8/status/701426920412553216 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Sorry Larry, you're clearly hoping that someone's going to dip into your back pocket and grab a cheek by mistake. Dreadful stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Opposite sides people, get a grip. Wallet in the back right. Phone back left. Keys n stuff, front right. Change n that, front left. Any daliance with above goe's in the Beastism thread. Full Stop. You're a monster. Front right Phone only Front left Keys, earphones, change Back left Nothing Back right Nothing Wallet goes in the inside left breast pocket of jacket, or back left jeans/trouser pocket if the former option is not available. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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