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Rugster

Beastisms

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Below are practices/phrases which clearly define people who should be on the register:

Please feel free to add any I have missed below and the list will be updated.

  • Standing up to wipe your arse
  • Referring to square sausage as Lorne/Slice/Flat
  • Referring to Toasted cheese as Roasted cheese
  • Referring to French toast as eggy dip dip/eggy bread
  • Referring to a chippy as a chipper
  • Sitting down in the shower
  • Keeping coins in a wallet or back pocket
  • Having toast with soup
  • Referring to the outsiders of bread as heels/bread coat slices
  • Keeping keys on a contraption attached to your trousers
  • Referring to Tomato Soup as Tommy Soup
  • Having a "wee" team when you really support one of the cheeks
  • Having multiple aliases/dotting accounts
  • Sitting down for a piss (if you are a male)
  • Not using bullet points when creating a list.
  • Liking Nick Grimshaw
  • Clipping a mobile phone to a belt
  • Wearing a Bluetooth headset (possibly allowed if driving, but only when driving)
  • Sugar and vinegar on a pancake
  • Wearing a belt made of anything other than leather
  • Owning folding spectacles
  • Using an electric blanket if under 65
  • Having Biro pens sticking out a shirt pocket
  • Adults wearing football strips with their name on the back
  • Having spectacles on a chain around your neck
  • Men wearing pinky rings
  • Wearing a short sleeved shirt with a tie
  • Sharing a pint in a pub
  • Wearing a clip on tie
  • Having a manbun
  • Wearing full tracksuits when not participating in a sporting activity of some sort
  • Men who shave their chest
  • Men who use sunbeds/fake tan
  • Men wearing v neck sweaters with nothing underneath
  • Wearing socks with sandals
  • Brushing your teeth in the shower
  • Adults watching wrestling
  • Men wearing white t shirts, or vests, under shirts
  • Wallet chains
  • Men who wear hats indoors.
  • Men who drink Lattes/Cappucino's/Soy Lattes/Chai Tea Latte/Chai Tea/Green Tea/Peppermint Tea.
  • Men who add flavoured syrup to a coffee.
  • Older men wearing leather jackets
  • People who put Coleslaw / fruit on pizza
  • People who wear black brogues with stonewashed denims
  • Men with combovers
  • Half and half football scarves
  • Grown men wearing full football kit to go shopping with the wife
  • Comic collectors
  • Tomato sauce / milk in soup
  • Picking bits of jobby out your arse and pinging them at folk in a communal shower.
  • People who wear driving gloves
  • People who think T Shirts are underwear and should not be worn in public.
  • Clip on sunglasses
  • Wearing St Mirren pyjamas
  • Making Football Manager walkthrough videos from your mum's basement
  • Wearing your work id badge on the way to or on the way home from work
  • Phoning Div to get back on P & B
  • Full-body lycra on a portly, middle-aged cyclist
  • Wearing speedos
  • Carrying a comb in back pocket
  • Wearing sleeveless jumpers
  • Owning a mobile dj business
  • Males wearing trousers that inadvertently or purposefully reveal arse cleavage or underwear, in public.
  • Wearing cheap running shoes with jeans
  • Full Kit Golf Wankers
  • Being pals with Jesus
  • Tinted/react to light glasses
  • Personalised voicemail greetings on a non work phone
  • Tucking t shirts/polo shirts into jeans
  • Attending a nightclub on your own
  • Sitting beside someone on a half empty mode of public transport
  • People who use wallets made of fabric other than leather
  • People who speak to you when you are at a urinal
  • People who wear crocs, especially with socks, unless you are a waiter at a swimming pool




update 10

Here are the categories http://www.pieandbovril.com/forum/index.php/topic/228912-beastisms/page-16#entry10184585

Here is the scale http://www.pieandbovril.com/forum/index.php/topic/228912-beastisms/page-16#entry10184591

Edited by Rugster

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Referring to tomato soup as tommy soup?

eta

where else do you keep your coins?

and a sit down shower is totally acceptable if you're a hungover mess

Edited by johnnynivenEC

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The list shall be updated daily, I will collate appropriate responses later.

johnnynivenEC - Coins are kept in front trouser pockets.

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Below are practices/phrases which clearly define people who should be on the register:

Please feel free to add any I have missed below and the list will be updated.

Standing up to wipe your arse

Referring to square sausage as Lorne/Slice/Flat

Referring to Toasted cheese as Roasted cheese

Referring to French toast as eggy dip dip/eggy bread

Referring to a chippy as a chipper

Keeping coins in a wallet or back pocket

Having toast with soup

Sitting down in the shower

Referring to the outsiders of bread as heels/bread coat slices

Keeping keys on a contraption attached to your trousers

The register is not enough for people like that. Hanging would be the best option.

Anyway I'd like to add grown men who eat Ice Cream 99s in public. Nothing creepier.

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  • Sitting down for a piss

Hiding a £500 note under the board when playing Monopoly then pulling it out when you need it

In fact, having (or claiming to have) a £500 note

Having a dotting account

Not using bullet points when writing a list

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People who clip their mobile phones onto their belt.

People who wear Bluetooth ear pieces.

Edited by Hammer Jag

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Below are practices/phrases which clearly define people who should be on the register:

Please feel free to add any I have missed below and the list will be updated.

Standing up to wipe your arse

Referring to square sausage as Lorne/Slice/Flat

Referring to Toasted cheese as Roasted cheese

Referring to French toast as eggy dip dip/eggy bread

Referring to a chippy as a chipper

Keeping coins in a wallet or back pocket

Having toast with soup

Sitting down in the shower

Referring to the outsiders of bread as heels/bread coat slices

Keeping keys on a contraption attached to your trousers

Apart from your ridiculous views on wiping your arse and where you buy your fish supper from you're spot on.

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People who clip their mobile phones onto their belt.

People who wear Bluetooth ear pieces.

In my experience, clipping your mobile phone to your belt is the MO of a fat b*****d, presumably because they'll crush their phone if they put it in their trouser pocket.

(I'm not sticking up for their behaviour mind).

Edited by Cardinal Richelieu

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Adult men who drink fruit cider in pubs.

Adult men who don't drink straight spirits. Or, more specifically, those adult men who not only don't drink straight spirits, but act like it's some incredible thing that people do.

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