Idiotic mis-interpretations of sayings.

[madwullie]

Literally.

I literally died laughing.

OED have changed the definition of literally to also mean figuratively because so many people use it wrongly. It now means what it means, and the exact opposite of what it means. Genius

[The_Kincardine]

OED have changed the definition of literally to also mean figuratively because so many people use it wrongly. It now means what it means, and the exact opposite of what it means. Genius

My blood literally boiled when I read this so I looked up the entry:

This use can lead to unintentional humorous effects ( we were literally killing ourselves laughing) and is not acceptable in formal contexts, though it is widespread.

I don't think they've changed the definition so much as point out its common usage.

[Richie]

The proof is in the pudding

[killie_lad]

Fatboy slim - praise you like a shoe

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

OED have changed the definition of literally to also mean figuratively because so many people use it wrongly. It now means what it means, and the exact opposite of what it means. Genius

That's a woman, isn't it?

[Shandon Par]

Heard one on the radio where the guy thought the phrase was "bombsy tit", as in "tidy your bedroom it looks like a bombsy tit". (Bomb has hit it)

[tamthebam]

some of these are malapropisms and some mere mondegreens

now, if something is neither here nor there then where the hell ls it?

[WhiteRoseKillie]

Was once shown a letter addressed to a Dental Optician

Specialising in eye teeth?

[eddiemunster]

Bombfire. Fucking bombfire.

[pandarilla]

Are you suggesting squid aren't damp

The one that rips my knitting is people who misuse 'the exception that proves the rule' saying.

Not for the first time kincardine - you have broadened my horizons.

I have been using the ' exception that proves the rule' nonsense all wrong (I actually was pretty sure it didn't make sense but it made me sound cool so went along for shits n giggles).

Now I know. It's a weird one and I reckon I'll not get to use it anymore. But if I do get to use it correctly I'll know who to thank.

[Greenlantern]

"Was just heading out the door when the boss clobbered me".

No, you mean he collared you?

[Darren]

Pre-Madonna is my favourite

[Tight minge]

Had the misfortune to work with a complete bellend many years ago. Although holding a management position his grasp of English was appalling, but that never stopped him trying to look smarter than he was.

During an operations meeting, he waffled on about something or other, he concluded his little speech by saying "but I'm going off on a tandem".

Everyone had the politeness to just sit in embarrassed silence except myself who couldn't control my laughter (not professional from myself, but his drivel and word/phrase miss use was constant).

[Curva Nord]

Stolen from another site..................

"Maths is my R Kelly's heel"

Anyone got other examples?

Also heard hercules heel!

[hk blues]

Not a saying...but many years ago my sister asked what a horses hoe was.

[Newbornbairn]

My boss sent out a group email setting out company standards and emphasising the importance of correct grammar, punctuation and spelling in all written communications.

He finished up by writing " I should of thought you would all be setting an example"

I thought about it.

Then replied to all saying "It's should have, not should of"

c**t got me on a disciplinary a week later.

[madwullie]

My blood literally boiled when I read this so I looked up the entry:

This use can lead to unintentional humorous effects ( we were literally killing ourselves laughing) and is not acceptable in formal contexts, though it is widespread.

I don't think they've changed the definition so much as point out its common usage.

c. colloq. Used to indicate that some (freq. conventional) metaphorical or hyperbolical expression is to be taken in the strongest admissible sense: ‘virtually, as good as’; (also) ‘completely, utterly, absolutely’.Now one of the most common uses, although often considered irregular in standard English since it reverses the original sense of literally (‘not figuratively or metaphorically’)

This is from the OED. People don't talk in formal contexts. But they have formalised the fact that people are so fucking thick they have used the word wrongly for so often, that this is now an accepted usage, and therefore a definition of the word.

This makes my head literally explode in anger FYI

[Tamdunk]

This is from the OED. People don't talk in formal contexts. But they have formalised the fact that people are so fucking thick they have used the word wrongly for so often, that this is now an accepted usage, and therefore a definition of the word.

This makes my head literally explode in anger FYI

Language constantly evolves. Season has become an acceptable word for series over here, which pisses me off, but you can't fight the tide. You have to embrace this shit.

Anyway I knew someone who would always come out with wrong expressions, look a gift horse in the mouse, throw a monkey in the works. She also always said howanever. f**k knows where she got all this from.

[The_Kincardine]

They have formalised the fact that people are so fucking thick they have used the word wrongly for so often, that this is now an accepted usage, and therefore a definition of the word.

This makes my head literally explode in anger FYI

Wullie, I feel your pain and I utterly deprecate this shift in meaning. People who use 'literally' when they mean 'not literally' should be water-boarded.

I sometimes post on a football message-board where posters use 'new' when they actually mean 'same'. Oh what japes we have! You should join it just for the laughs!

[Hillonearth]

Language constantly evolves. Season has become an acceptable word for series over here, which pisses me off, but you can't fight the tide. You have to embrace this shit.

True - for example "awful" used to mean "inspiring awe" ie the exact opposite of what it does now. "artificial" used to mean carefully handmade, ditto. It constantly happens, and there's no way you can preserve language in aspic.