Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QoS_1919 Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 New evidence has been found outside the Pistorious home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend's murder. Footprints. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 I came up with a new word today. Plagiarism. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 No, I invented a new word. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 I want to re-marry my ex-wife, but I think she knows I'm only after my money. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 Oh dearI’m dumb so forgive me. What have I missed here? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearthammer Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 12 hours ago, BillyAnchor said: Tis only a matter of time before the "wids" appear out of the widworks methinks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Diamond Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 Man asks the librarian "You don't have a book on reverse pyscology do you?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 (edited) 3 hours ago, Old Diamond said: Man asks the librarian "You don't have a book on reverse pyscology do you?" "And one on spelling, please." Edited July 22, 2019 by Bold Rover 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigBo10 Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 Oh dearStill not helping. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonHMFC Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 I came out of Tesco just now and there was a woman crying her eyes out. She'd lost all her holiday money she had been saving for months. I felt so sorry for her and I’m sure you would have done the same, I gave her £50. I don't usually do that kind of thing but I'd just found £1000 in the car park. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 ‘It’s a boy !” I shouted with tears rolling down my face “ I don’t believe it. A boy !” Its at that moment I decided I’d never visit Thailand again . 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 My penis was in the Guinness book of world records . Then the librarian told me I had to take it out before she called security. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 Guy walks into a library... Guy - do you have any books on how to commit suicide? Librarian - f**k off, you won’t bring it back. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin.Hood Posted July 24, 2019 Share Posted July 24, 2019 I got fired from my job at the bank. An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post kennysmassiveego Posted July 25, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted July 25, 2019 The wife was trying to be sexy last night , she laid on the bed sliding her lollipop in and out of her fanny and then licking it . ”Steady love “ I said “ you’ll need that in the morning to see the kids across the road “ . 26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 2 female police officer dog handlers on the beat . One says “ I’ve left my knickers at the station “ The other says “ let the dog have a sniff of your fanny and he’ll fetch them for you “ The dog returned 30 minutes later with her knickers , 2 truncheons and 3 of the desk sergeants fingers ! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daydream Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 I wouldna ride her into battle 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daydream Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Barry Ferguson to librarian - “can I get a fish supper?”Librarian - “I’m sorry sir this is a library”BF - whispering - “sorry, can I get a fish supper?” 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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