QoS_1919 Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like as a gift. “I’d like to be eight again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her birthday, he rose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, with popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed, exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!!" The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 Should the one on the LHS have a label saying “Hi ho I’m Silver”? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 1 hour ago, BillyAnchor said: That actually took me a minute or two! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 1 hour ago, GordonD said: That actually took me a minute or two! I don't get it. Why is the brown horse called Silver? I understand the music reference but not the joke - please help! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 41 minutes ago, Bold Rover said: I don't get it. Why is the brown horse called Silver? I understand the music reference but not the joke - please help! Silver was The Lone Ranger's horse on early kids TV, don't get the 1972 one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 3 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Silver was The Lone Ranger's horse on early kids TV, don't get the 1972 one. America...... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 20 minutes ago, Zen Archer said: America...... Got it! I was thrown by Silver - towards Jeff Beck. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 1 hour ago, Zen Archer said: America...... Always thought that was Neil Young. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 4 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Always thought that was Neil Young. I've been through the desert. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigBo10 Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 I really don’t get it at all. Can someone explain it in F*** tard terms for me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 1 minute ago, BigBo10 said: I really don’t get it at all. Can someone explain it in F*** tard terms for me. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 Ha ha daft old c***s. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 5 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Ha ha daft old c***s. It felt good to be out of the rain. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 That lasted longer than I expected. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 I made my wife some coffee this afternoon, she asked me; "Does this taste earthy to you?" I replied; Spoiler "It was ground this morning." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Why are men smarter during sex? Because during sex they’re plugged into a f**king-know it -all 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Alfred e Neuman ?That is Mad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonHMFC Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 I walked passed the YMCA today, and there was a teenage boy sat outside stroking some feathers. I said, "Young man, there's no need to feel down" 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 I met a girl at a party last night . I said “ you remind me of my little toe “ She said “because I’m small and petite ?” “ No . I’ll probably bang you later on the table when I’m pissed “ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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