Arch Stanton Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 My mate said "for Halloween this year I'm dressing as an Italian island". I said "don't be so silly". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 I have just been sacked from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted October 17, 2022 Share Posted October 17, 2022 People in Iran are scared of spiders. Iraq? No phobia. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theatom Posted October 17, 2022 Share Posted October 17, 2022 5 hours ago, Arch Stanton said: People in Iran are scared of spiders. Iraq? No phobia. People with fear of trainspotters - Anoraknaphobia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted October 17, 2022 Share Posted October 17, 2022 Fear of palindromes - Aibohphobia 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeTillEhDeh Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 (edited) Lord Nelson was about 5ft 6. His statue is 17ft 4. That’s Horatio of about 3:1... Edited October 21, 2022 by jagfox 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 My local Family Planning Clinic was giving a talk on using "The Rhythm Method." I was going to go but pulled out at the last second. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearthammer Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 Sean Connery once told a joke about the French Riviera. Nobody found it funny as it was apparently too niche. It was canned after that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 I took the miniature Dairy Milk, Caramel, Twirl, Wispa, Eclair, Double Decker, Fudge, Crunchie and Creme Egg, and wrapped each of them in bacon. They all tasted absolutely disgusting. It's true what they say. You should never meat your Heroes, you'll only end up disappointed. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 The wife says she's leaving if I don't stop the Star Wars puns. Spoiler Divorce is strong with this one. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted October 29, 2022 Share Posted October 29, 2022 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted October 29, 2022 Share Posted October 29, 2022 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted October 30, 2022 Share Posted October 30, 2022 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted October 31, 2022 Share Posted October 31, 2022 My wife accused me of achieving nothing so I told her, 'Well I won the Leslie Nielson award at school.' 'What's that?', she said. 'It's a big building with kids in it.' 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted October 31, 2022 Share Posted October 31, 2022 ….but that’s not important right now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted November 1, 2022 Share Posted November 1, 2022 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Diamond Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 2 hours ago, oaksoft said: I know people are getting excited about Christmas coming and what presents to get each other but as an animal lover I want to issue a timely reminder to all of you. Please remember that a puppy is not just for Christmas. With a bit of luck there will be some leftover for a delicious lunchtime sandwich on Boxing Day. Just Wok the dog on Boxing Day 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 4 hours ago, oaksoft said: I know people are getting excited about Christmas coming and what presents to get each other but as an animal lover I want to issue a timely reminder to all of you. Please remember that a puppy is not just for Christmas. With a bit of luck there will be some leftover for a delicious lunchtime sandwich on Boxing Day. Better than a turkey as more people can get a leg. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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