The_Kincardine Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 5 minutes ago, tamthebam said: My grandad invented the anagram and won the Le Bon prize Bit of a Wild Boy too Noble effort... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearthammer Posted October 3, 2022 Share Posted October 3, 2022 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
House Bartender Posted October 4, 2022 Share Posted October 4, 2022 Back to the very old jokes What's grey and comes in pints? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted October 5, 2022 Share Posted October 5, 2022 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearthammer Posted October 6, 2022 Share Posted October 6, 2022 My best mate's just called in floods of tears. He says his wife left him last night and she took all his Bob Marley CDs and their satellite dish. Poor guy, now he's No Woman, No Sky. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 I bought a chocolate bar and on the inside of the wrapper it said "you are a loser". I wouldn't have minded had there been some sort of competition on. Spoiler To make things worse it was a Boost. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 1 hour ago, Arch Stanton said: I bought a chocolate bar and on the inside of the wrapper it said "you are a loser". I wouldn't have minded had there been some sort of competition on. Reveal hidden contents To make things worse it was a Boost. Again? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 2 hours ago, Granny Danger said: Again? Aye, it popped up on TikTok. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 23 minutes ago, jagfox said: I dont get it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 18 minutes ago, Nkomo-A-Gogo said: I dont get it. Me neither. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 20 minutes ago, Nkomo-A-Gogo said: I dont get it. 1 minute ago, welshbairn said: Me neither. Is it because the white guy looks like Jeffrey Dahmer? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 17 minutes ago, johnnydun said: Is it because the white guy looks like Jeffrey Dahmer? Yes 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesP_81 Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 56 minutes ago, johnnydun said: Is it because the white guy looks like Jeffrey Dahmer? Ah ok I thought it was Russell Howard writing new material. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Diamond Posted October 14, 2022 Share Posted October 14, 2022 Johnny died and arrived in Hell. He was met by the Devil and was told that in the new kinder, gentler, more customer focused Hell, each person is offered three choices of torture. The Devil explained that these tortures run in 1,000-year cycles and you could pick which cycle to begin with. The Devil took Johnny to the first room where a man was hung up by his feet and was being whipped with chains. Johnny said he did not think that was where he wanted to start. They proceeded to the next room where a man was hung up by his arms and was being whipped by a cat-o-nine-tails. Johnny also declined this form of torture. The third room had a old man strapped to the wall naked, and a very beautiful young blonde woman was performing upon him. Johnny told the Devil this is more like it, and this was the one he wanted. The Devil said, "Are you sure? It lasts for a thousand years!" Johnny assured him this was the punishment he wanted. So the Devil walked over to the young blond woman and said ... ... "You can go now, I've found your replacement." 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 Two women meet up in the afterlife.W1. How did you die?W2. I froze to death. How about you?W1. Well I was convinced my husband was having an affair so I snuck back to those one afternoon when he was supposed to be sleeping. Stabbed him. Searched the whole house in a frenzy, top to bottom, getting so angry I couldn’t find this woman. So much so I gave myself a heart attack and died!W2. If only you’d opened the fucking freezer neither of us would be here! 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 Russian joke. A German, an American and a Russian get on a desert island. The island is bare, no vegetation, no animals. There's nothing to eat. The German takes a knife out, cuts off his hand — they eat it for breakfast. At lunch, the American cuts off his leg — they eat it for lunch. Evening, everyone wants to eat. The Russian unzips his zipper and takes out his cock. German murmurs happily: 'Mmm, what a sausage!'. Russian responds: 'What sausage? One yogurt for each of you and go to sleep.'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 Russian joke. A German, an American and a Russian get on a desert island. The island is bare, no vegetation, no animals. There's nothing to eat. The German takes a knife out, cuts off his hand — they eat it for breakfast. At lunch, the American cuts off his leg — they eat it for lunch. Evening, everyone wants to eat. The Russian unzips his zipper and takes out his cock. German murmurs happily: 'Mmm, what a sausage!'. Russian responds: 'What sausage? One yogurt for each of you and go to sleep.'.Read that perfectly. Had no idea I could read Russian 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 What do you call a magician who's lost his magic? Spoiler Ian 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 My mate's burd lets him eat strawberry preserve which is smeared on her vag. Jammy cunt. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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