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The joke thread: a thread for camaraderie and hilarity


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A wife gives an ultimatum to her husband..."I don't mind you going out for a sociable drink but if you come home all covered in sick again, we're finished". Sure enough the man get blootered and pukes all over his jacket.

Having told his friend of his situation, the friend says "Put a £20 note in your inside pocket and tell her some other drunk puked on you and gave you the money for dry cleaning." "Brilliant" says the man, putting a £20 in his jacket and staggering off home.

Upon arriving home he starts getting grief from the wife but interrupts by pointing to his jacket and saying "it was this drunk, he was sick all over me but offered me £20 for dry cleaning." The wife reaches into his pocket  and says "but there's two £20 pound notes in here." "Oh aye" says the husband, "the other is from the guy who shat in my pants."

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