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Ayia Napa Daz

The joke thread: a thread for camaraderie and hilarity

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I went to the gym yesterday and they've got a new machine in.

I only used it for 10 minutes, as I was  starting to feel sick.

It's really good though, it does everything.......Kit-kats, Snickers, Mars bars, Crisps....

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Doesn't it annoy you when you're singing along to a song you like, and the artist gets the words wrong!

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7 hours ago, Tenkay said:

 News:  I've been told  The Liverpool manager has quit.   He's taking his family home to Germany.

 The klopp's go back this weekend!

 

why would you even take the time to post that?

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I have a racist dyslexic friend. He got quite upset last week when he read that his cock would go black at the weekend.

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A Russian man walks up to the Georgian border near Stepantsminda.

Border guard: "Name?"
Man: "Ilya Sergeivich Mozyakin"
BG: "Date of birth?"
Man: "March the thirteenth nineteen seventy-four."
BG: "Place of birth?"
Man: "Khimki, Moscow oblast."
BG: "Occupation?"
Man: "No, just visiting."

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14 minutes ago, DiegoDiego said:

A Russian man walks up to the Georgian border near Stepantsminda.

Border guard: "Name?"
Man: "Ilya Sergeivich Mozyakin"
BG: "Date of birth?"
Man: "March the thirteenth nineteen seventy-four."
BG: "Place of birth?"
Man: "Khimki, Moscow oblast."
BG: "Occupation?"
Man: "No, just visiting."

I'd just like to say that joke is not very funny. Can I go now?

P.S. Heard a while back that the Russians were moving the border fence a couple of yards every night. Enough to really piss off the Georgians and the local farmers but not enough to be called an invasion. Not sure if that's still going on.

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What do you call a russian with 3 testicles?

 

Whodye nikabolokov.

 

What do you call a russian with tourettes?

 

Yukanall fukov.

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4 hours ago, welshbairn said:

I'd just like to say that joke is not very funny. Can I go now?

P.S. Heard a while back that the Russians were moving the border fence a couple of yards every night. Enough to really piss off the Georgians and the local farmers but not enough to be called an invasion. Not sure if that's still going on.

Boney M put it well:

Oh those Russians..

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9 hours ago, tamthebam said:

Boney M put it well:

Oh those Russians..

They also predicted that Muhammad Ali's daughter would follow in his footsteps.

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