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Ayia Napa Daz

The joke thread: a thread for camaraderie and hilarity

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I've just read that clocks are supposed to go back on the 25th October,

but I've lost the receipt for my clock.

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I have always aspired to @Shandön Par 's level of sartorial elegance and have promised myself that if I win the lottery I would follow his trend.

All I need is those 3 numbers to come up.

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I've got a phobia of German sausages. 

 

 

 

I fear the wurst. 

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My computer beat me at chess recently.

But it was no match for me at kickboxing.

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12 hours ago, Bishop Briggs said:

An American driver in Stirling today asked for directions to the nearest railroad station. This was the result...

_114887910_carontrack.jpg

Careless, that. Leaving your car doors open in Stirling is just asking for it to be nicked.

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Apparently another car went on the track at just about the same time near Corpach.

I smell shenanigans. Maybe a co-ordinated terrorist attack from the Women's Parking Popular Front?

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Apparently another car went on the track at just about the same time near Corpach.
I smell shenanigans. Maybe a co-ordinated terrorist attack from the Women's Parking Popular Front?


f**k off!!



















It was the Popular Front of Womens Parking.

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11 hours ago, 19QOS19 said:


 

 


f**k off!!



















It was the Popular Front of Womens Parking.

 

SPLITTERS

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How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the oven till its bill withers.

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Scientists have discovered that trees have their own way of communicating with each other,

It's called What sap...

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Yesterday my wife thought she saw a cockroach in the kitchen.

She sprayed everything down and cleaned everywhere thoroughly.

Today, I moved the coachroach in to the bathroom.

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If anyone  can be bothered to sponsor me, I'm thinking about doing a  0.000005K "run",   to raise awareness of laziness....

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This year is the first year I haven’t run the Edinburgh marathon due to Covid.

The other years i have just been too fat and lazy.

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