Sergeant Wilson Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 1 hour ago, Gaz said: I went into Boots yesterday to ask if they had something that would protect against the Coronavirus. "Ammonia Cleaner", she replied. "Sorry love," I said, "I thought you worked here." EDIT: I just seen that this was posted on the previous page. f**k's sake It's alright, it wasn't funny then either. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Van Tee Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Was watching Babestation last night when my wife suddenly began opening the front door and came in. Quick as a flash before she saw, I hit the remote and changed the channel to Animal Planet. This actually made it much worse for myself when she saw me with my trousers down and big hard-on while two elephants were having sex together onscreen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Was watching Babestation last night when my wife suddenly began opening the front door and came in. Quick as a flash before she saw, I hit the remote and changed the channel to Animal Planet. This actually made it much worse for myself when she saw me with my trousers down and big hard-on while two elephants were having sex together onscreen.This isn't a joke is it... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hauzen Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 11 hours ago, 19QOS19 said: 14 hours ago, Lee Van Tee said: Was watching Babestation last night when my wife suddenly began opening the front door and came in. Quick as a flash before she saw, I hit the remote and changed the channel to Animal Planet. This actually made it much worse for myself when she saw me with my trousers down and big hard-on while two elephants were having sex together onscreen. This isn't a joke is it... It's an episode of Friends. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 2 minutes ago, Hauzen said: It's a cartoon strip from The Broons. Sunday Post trying to spice things up a bit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 It's an episode of Friends.It was sharks in Friends [emoji14] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 27 minutes ago, BillyAnchor said: Wings will be crushed over what they've done to Paddington. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lofarl Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 Took me ein minuten das 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 Stolen from Athletico Mince live...If you fart and burp at the same time you'll take a screenshot of yourself. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Corona Virus turns people into pigeons 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 I was in Tesco earlier and asked the assistant if they had any toilet roll left. She just screamed and ran away. Worse still, I had to shuffle back to the toilets with my breeks at my ankles and ended up having to use one of my socks. 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 *****BREAKING NEWS! *****Sadly news has just reached us saying that the first member of this group has sadly died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 500 cans of assorted food, 100kg of pasta, 75kg of rice, 200 toilet rolls and 30L of hand sanitiser which he had panic bought from Aldi “just in case!”The whole lot collapsed and buried the daft b*****d! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 Me: Boss I'm coming in to work tomorrow. Boss: But i said you could work from home. Me: I know but I need to take a shit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 I was buying a big bulk of toilet tissue rolls yesterday and the cashier smiled and said, 'Worried about the virus are we?''No', I said, 'My son's just turned 13 and got round the parental lock on our Wi-Fi.' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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