Duszek Posted November 4, 2022 Share Posted November 4, 2022 Arrived two hours late for the cannibal party. Got the cold shoulder. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted November 4, 2022 Share Posted November 4, 2022 I was at the airport this morning and there was a man passed out on the baggage carousel.He slowly came around. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superbigal Posted November 4, 2022 Share Posted November 4, 2022 Vegetarian sex pest in the local mental hospital.Fuckingg nuts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 4, 2022 Share Posted November 4, 2022 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted November 4, 2022 Share Posted November 4, 2022 1 hour ago, Duszek said: Arrived two hours late for the cannibal party. Got the cold shoulder. If you'd been on time you could have had a ball. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 4, 2022 Share Posted November 4, 2022 They shouldn’t mess with Celebrations by taking Bounty’s out, these kind of things upset people… I swapped the wrappers around once and my wife really got her Snickers in a Twix... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted November 4, 2022 Share Posted November 4, 2022 The ex-wife died in a rollercoaster accident. I've only got the one picture to remember her by. Spoiler Plus a mug, key-ring and mouse mat. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theatom Posted November 4, 2022 Share Posted November 4, 2022 On 02/11/2022 at 16:45, GordonD said: Better than a turkey as more people can get a leg. I crossed a turkey with an octopus so everyone could get a leg….…. ……never able to catch it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted November 4, 2022 Share Posted November 4, 2022 For sale 90s iconic puppets Sooty and Sweep. Any offer accepted, I just want them off my hands. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archie McSquackle Posted November 5, 2022 Share Posted November 5, 2022 How do you find Will Smith in the snow?Follow the fresh prints. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duszek Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 My herb dealer just told me I'm living on borrowed thyme. Threatening to send round the bay leafs. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theatom Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 A skeleton went into a pub and asked for a pint of lager and a mop. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted November 13, 2022 Share Posted November 13, 2022 And finally, a man was today admitted to hospital with six plastic horses up his arse. His condition was described as stable. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 I went to an Art Auction at the Neverland Ranch and the first item was one of Michael's testicles splattered all over a canvas. I put in a bid for 100 dollars but the Auctioneer laughed and told me it would probably fetch $1,000,000. Apparently that's the going rate for a Jackson Bollock. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 3 minutes ago, scottsdad said: I went to an Art Auction at the Neverland Ranch and the first item was one of Michael's testicles splattered all over a canvas. I put in a bid for 100 dollars but the Auctioneer laughed and told me it would probably fetch $1,000,000. Apparently that's the going rate for a Jackson Bollock. Weird flecks...but that's ok 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duszek Posted November 15, 2022 Share Posted November 15, 2022 A man exhuding natural authority walks into a bar. He orders everyone around. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldbitterandgrumpy Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empty It Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted November 17, 2022 Share Posted November 17, 2022 Just joined the local dyslexia brass band. I play the Toblerone. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Diamond Posted November 17, 2022 Share Posted November 17, 2022 20 hours ago, oldbitterandgrumpy said: If they came for the Sun journalists, would anybody notice? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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