philpy Posted November 7, 2020 Share Posted November 7, 2020 . 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted November 7, 2020 Share Posted November 7, 2020 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted November 7, 2020 Share Posted November 7, 2020 . That's freaky. My Mrs said the other day, Paul Bohill will need to be called to get him out. She's raging someone stole her only joke [emoji38] 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenkay Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 According to my Chocolate Advent Calendar, there are now only 3 days left until xmas! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 39 minutes ago, Tenkay said: According to my Chocolate Advent Calendar, there are now only 3 days left until xmas! Me being an insomniac agrees with this - 3 sleeps til Christmas! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Diamond Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Diamond Posted November 10, 2020 Share Posted November 10, 2020 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
microdave Posted November 10, 2020 Share Posted November 10, 2020 I've just written my first book. It's called the A to C of laziness. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 A man is walking home alone late one foggy November night past a graveyard, when behind him he hears:BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the road toward him.BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.FASTER...FASTER..BUMP...BUMP...BUMP......He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP....clappity-BUMP...on his heels, as the terrified man runs.Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.Bumping and clapping toward him.The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...and,The coffin stops. I'm so sorry. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 On 10/11/2020 at 14:14, microdave said: I've just written my first book. It's called the A to C of laziness. Ambitious. Mine stopped at A 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 On 10/11/2020 at 14:14, microdave said: I've just written my first book. It's called the A to C of laziness. I wrote the definitive A to Z of laziness ages ago. You go from the second letter of the word to the third and that's it. Job done. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 I'm so lazy I can't even fini 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Billy Connolly "Lazy? I was that lazy when I pissed myself it didn't run down my leg, it strolled. I used to have to have a w@nk in the morning to get my heart started..." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nae Union Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 On 25/10/2020 at 10:31, GordonD said: I have a racist dyslexic friend. He got quite upset last week when he read that his cock would go black at the weekend. Putting the sexy back in dyslexia there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeTillEhDeh Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 6 hours ago, DeeTillEhDeh said: Wid 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Just joined the local Dyslexia Brass Band. I play the Toblerone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted November 18, 2020 Share Posted November 18, 2020 We're gonna be millionaires! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeTillEhDeh Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 2 hours ago, DeeTillEhDeh said: Accies transfer budget for last season found... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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