johnnydun Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 He's Office rocker! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 10 hours ago, Dele said: To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office : I will find you, you have my Word! Have you been Out-looking for them? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HooseLee Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 10 hours ago, Dele said: To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office : I will find you, you have my Word! We really have to monitor this thread for these type of jokes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 10 hours ago, GordonD said: (It's been a few weeks since this one was posted) To the old guy in the mobility scooter who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide but you can't run! Milton Jones did a similar gag on radio: A: Have you seen my high Viz jacket, I can't see it anywhere Jones; I'd return it and get my money back if I were you 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 4 minutes ago, tamthebam said: Milton Jones did a similar gag on radio: A: Have you seen my high Viz jacket, I can't see it anywhere Jones; I'd return it and get my money back if I were you Something similar. I’ve got eight camouflage jackets. No need for so many but every time I put the new one in the wardrobe I can never find the fucker again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The DA Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you. Don't bother coming after me.” Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction. After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone. "She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie. I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like." He hung up, grabbed his keys and left. She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed. Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote... "I can see your feet. We're outta bread: be back in five minutes." 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forest_Fifer Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office : I will find you, you have my Word! "It looks like you're trying to tell a joke, would you like some help with that?" 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 Rab C finally gets a ticket but misses the game... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 The only funny thing about that is how poor the photoshop is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 1 hour ago, Dele said: The only funny thing about that is how poor the photoshop is. True. That photo was clearly taken at an Edinburgh City game. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the aggressive beggar Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 1 hour ago, Bishop Briggs said: Rab C finally gets a ticket but misses the game... Kenny Deuchar up to mischief. With a scouse wig to boot! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 More proof that the big clubs arent local anymore. Not so long ago it would have had authentic scousers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 3 hours ago, GordonD said: True. That photo was clearly taken at an Edinburgh City game. Must be against Clyde with their massive support Social distancing isn't usually a problem at City games... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 14 hours ago, tamthebam said: Social distancing isn't usually a problem at City games... Meadowbank matches were similar. Our Mexican waves never had much effect. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Scotsman, Englishman, Welshman and Irishman walk into a bar. Those were the days. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Diamond Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 "Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and British Airways , call sign Speedbird 206. Speedbird 206: “Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway.” Ground: “Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.” The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?” Speedbird 206: “Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now.” Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?” Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,… and I didn’t land.” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 On 03/04/2020 at 04:17, alta-pete said: Something similar. I’ve got eight camouflage jackets. No need for so many but every time I put the new one in the wardrobe I can never find the fucker again. On a similar vein courtesy of Jim Davidson - Sergeant Major - "I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning Private Smith". Private Smith - "Thank You Sarge". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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