hk blues Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 2 minutes ago, Ross. said: This one could end up Running with the Night. Just Go... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearthammer Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 23 minutes ago, Ross. said: This one could end up Running with the Night. It could go on, like, easy to Sunday Morning at least. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 Endless puns 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin.Hood Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 I always knock on the fridge before I open it.Just in case there’s a salad dressing. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post LincolnHearts Posted January 14, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted January 14, 2020 23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 Endless punsNever heard that one. How does it go? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 Just spent £300 on a limo and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver. I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oscar P Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 I stayed awake all night trying to work out where the sun went to, and then suddenly it dawned on me. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 I went into a restaurant and tried to order the octopus stew. The waiter told me it would take 3 hours to cook. I asked "why?" and he replied "We cook them alive and they keep reaching out of the oven and turning the gas off...." 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AL-FFC Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 I went to the doctor and said 'It hurts when I press here, here, and here.' He said 'You've broken your finger' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 20 hours ago, G_Man1985 said: I always knock on the fridge before I open it. Just in case there’s a salad dressing. I've just been to an electrical goods store with a fridge where you knock twice on a darkened window on the front and it illuminates to show you the inside contents. Not a joke but a fascinating and true story related to yours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Diamond Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 19 minutes ago, Dee Man said: I've just been to an electrical goods store with a fridge where you knock twice on a darkened window on the front and it illuminates to show you the inside contents. Not a joke but a fascinating and true story related to yours. At last! a fridge that satisfies those with OCD that cannot be convinced that the light does go off when you shut the door 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 12 hours ago, Oscar P said: I stayed awake all night trying to work out where the sun went to, and then suddenly it dawned on me. Did you hear about the insomniac, dyslexic, agnostic? He lay awake all night wondering if there really was a dog. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mantis Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 11 hours ago, tamthebam said: I went into a restaurant and tried to order the octopus stew. The waiter told me it would take 3 hours to cook. I asked "why?" and he replied "We cook them alive and they keep reaching out of the oven and turning the gas off...." Have to admit this reminded me of the old one about the guy who drowned in a vat of whisky. Took him hours to drown as he got out 3 times for a pish. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 3 hours ago, Old Diamond said: At last! a fridge that satisfies those with OCD that cannot be convinced that the light does go off when you shut the door I bought my wife a fridge for Christmas, just to see her face light up whenever she opened it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin.Hood Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.”The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.” 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Man walks into a pub with a frog sitting on top of his head. The barman asks, "Where did you get that?" The frog replies, "It started off as a plook on my arse." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 13 hours ago, AL-FFC said: I went to the doctor and said 'It hurts when I press here, here, and here.' He said 'You've broken your finger' I went to the doctor with the same thing. I said "It hurts when I press here, here and here". He said "Well don't press there, there and there, NEXT!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 I went to the doctor with the same thing. I said "It hurts when I press here, here and here". He said "Well don't press there, there and there, NEXT!"Went to the doctor and said i have broken my leg in several places.He said stop going to those places then. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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