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The joke thread: a thread for camaraderie and hilarity


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I went to a bar recently, ordered a whisky then threw it away.
Went straight back to the bar, ordered another.
Barman asks, “Why do that?”
Me, “I’m an alcoholic and they say it’s the first one that kills you....”

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Somehow I lost my girlfriend at the airport. While looking for her i bumped into another guy who had done the same thing.

I asked him, "What does your girlfriend look like?"

He said, "She's 26 years old, five foot ten, slim, blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs and she's wearing a tight leather dress and thigh high boots. How about yours?"

I said, "f**k it, lets just look for yours."

 
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