Bishop Briggs Posted September 18, 2019 Share Posted September 18, 2019 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonHMFC Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 A pirate goes to the doctor and says, "I have moles on me back, aaarrrghh." The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign." Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 What do the monkeys at Edinburgh Zoo get for lunch? Spoiler Half an hour 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Van Tee Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 11 hours ago, Bishop Briggs said: Sean Connery takes up painting and his first work is a picture of a wooden structure he uses to hold cups in the kitchen. It's a shelf portrait. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Van Tee Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 I remember meeting big Sean a year or so after his retirement. I asked him what he was up to and he said he was now looking for his niche. Then he said, 'Oh wait a minute, there she is, playing with my nephew.' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 I was getting a hand job off my new girlfriend when I asked “ how are you so good at this ?” “ years of practice “ she said. “ bit of a player in your day were you ?” I laughed ‘No “ she replied “ my dad had no arms “ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 Christie Brinkley, is it any small wonder that Billy Joel needed a double hip replacement? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 24 minutes ago, Zen Archer Esq. said: Christie Brinkley, is it any small wonder that Billy Joel needed a double hip replacement? Surprised he didn't need a double lip replacement. That's quite the set of teeth, Christie. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearthammer Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 3 minutes ago, The Skelpit Lug said: Surprised he didn't need a double lip replacement. That's quite the set of teeth, Christie. Aye, but she was always a woman to him 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 He wasn't an Innocent Man for long 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearthammer Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 7 minutes ago, BillyAnchor said: He wasn't an Innocent Man for long Agreed, but he loved her just the way she was 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 Now we know who started the fire. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 She looks like she is an uptown girl. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 2 hours ago, NewBornBairn said: Now we know who started the fire. Grimbo? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 22 hours ago, Lee Van Tee said: Sean Connery takes up painting and his first work is a picture of a wooden structure he uses to hold cups in the kitchen. It's a shelf portrait. Sean Connery phones Roger Moore to arrange to meet tomorrow morning for a blether. "How about tennish?" says Roger Connery replies "Fine, but I dont have a racket" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Van Tee Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 (edited) On holiday last month I couldn't resist having a wee wee drink but ended up getting lashed. I won't be fucking visiting Iran again any time soon. Edited September 20, 2019 by Lee Van Tee spellinh 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 On holiday last month I couldn't resist having a wee wee drink but ended up getting lashed. I won't be fucking visiting Iran again any time soon. Plenty of pishy drinks in this country as well tbf. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted September 21, 2019 Share Posted September 21, 2019 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted September 21, 2019 Share Posted September 21, 2019 What do you call a barmaid who can balance a pint of beer on her head and play snooker at the same time? Spoiler Beartrix Potter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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