GordonD Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 3 hours ago, buchan30 said: I used to date the woman who is the voice of the speaking clock. Did she keep saying "At the third stroke..." while you were pumping her? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 17 minutes ago, GordonD said: Did she keep saying "At the third stroke..." while you were pumping her? He's never managed that many. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 He's never managed that many.Hiya Mrs Buchan30, hiya pal. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agthk97 Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catweasel Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeeVanTeeth Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 Got home to find my wife had left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working I'm going to my mum's." I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I have no idea what she is talking about. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 Tina turner has objected against plans to build a coffee shop near her home.We don't need another Nero. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin.Hood Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 A white rodent has been terrorising the local neighbourhood by holding up victims with a large knife. Police have warned the public not to approach him as he is believed to be armed and Dangermouse.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
port-ton Posted July 19, 2019 Share Posted July 19, 2019 I came up with a new word yesterday;Plagiarism. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post GordonD Posted July 19, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted July 19, 2019 I came up with a new word today. Plagiarism. 23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AL-FFC Posted July 19, 2019 Share Posted July 19, 2019 Women's Friends Vs. Men's Friends Friendship among Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told herhusband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called hiswife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship among Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife thathe had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 I played doctors and nurses with the wife last night... All went well until I diagnosed her clinically obese. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QoS_1919 Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 I came up with a new word today. Plagiarism. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigBo10 Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Women's Friends Vs. Men's Friends Friendship among Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told herhusband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called hiswife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship among Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife thathe had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there. I’m dumb so forgive me. What have I missed here? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 On 10/07/2019 at 17:29, BillyAnchor said: c**t 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 Just been told I need two prosthetic limbs. This will cost me an arm and a leg. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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