Lofarl Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 Camels for my Wife... I usually smoke Marlboro but hey a deal’s a deal! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 Mary had a little skirt, with splits right up the sides. And every time that Mary walked, the boys could see her thighs.Mary had another skirt, it was slit right up the front. .....but she never wore that one. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubixPubes Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 What’s the fastest town in Scotland? Naaaaaairnnnnnnn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubixPubes Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 Paddy was sitting in the living room with the family when he notices Brigitte's skirt has hitched up a bit too far when she sat sat down and he yells “Brigitte... Brigitte, cross your legs, the K I D S can see your c**t” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubixPubes Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 A Yorkshire couple go to the Costa Brava for a holiday, but on arrival, the wife says "I won't be able to make gravy with your dinner, love - I've forgotten the Bisto" The husband says, "Don't worry, there's an English couple staying in the next apartment, I'll see if they have any" So he knocks on the door of the next apartment, and says to the man" 'Allo, 'hast any Bisto" To which the man replies "f**k off, you Spanish c**t!” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 You here all week? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 29 minutes ago, alta-pete said: You here all week? Doubt it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The DA Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 2 hours ago, welshbairn said: Doubt it. It will just feel like he is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 (edited) David Beckham gets into a taxi at Dublin airport , he sees the driver looking at him for about 5 minutes in the rear view mirror. Eventually the driver says “ OK give us a clue then ? ‘ Beckham sighs and replies “ well I had a glittering career for Man Utd , married a spice girl and played over 100 times for England is that enough ?” Drivers says “ no you thick c**T , where are you going !? ‘ Edited April 13, 2019 by kennysmassiveego 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubixPubes Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 Who is Joey Barton’s favourite band? Fleetwood Smack 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubixPubes Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 What’s the difference between Hillsborough and a cow? You can’t milk a cow for thirty years 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 Did you know you can now be a sperm donor by post? When I found out I came in a jiffy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 A dog has learned to play the trumpet on the London underground.He's went from barking to tooting. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 What is the last part of your body to stop working when you die? Your pupils, they dilate. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HenryHill Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Went to the doctor. He says 'sorry, but you only have 6 months to live' I was shocked and demanded a second opinion, he said 'okay, you are ugly too' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 What is the last part of your body to stop working when you die? Your pupils, they dilate.Just told that to my (nurse) Mrs:- "I wouldn't know that because the first thing I do is close the eyelids"Degree qualification I might add. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 Father and Son both cannibals are walking along past a lake and they see a young lady swimming in it. Son says "Will we take her home and eat her ?" Dad says "No Son we'll take her home and eat your Mum !" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.