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The joke thread: a thread for camaraderie and hilarity


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A Yorkshire couple go to the Costa Brava for a holiday, but on arrival, the wife says "I won't be able to make gravy with your dinner, love - I've forgotten the Bisto" The husband says, "Don't worry, there's an English couple staying in the next apartment, I'll see if they have any" So he knocks on the door of the next apartment, and says to the man" 'Allo, 'hast any Bisto" To which the man replies "f**k off, you Spanish c**t!”

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David Beckham gets into a taxi at Dublin airport , he sees the driver looking at him for about 5 minutes in the rear view mirror.

Eventually the driver says “ OK give us a clue then ? ‘

Beckham sighs and replies “ well I had a glittering career for Man Utd , married a spice girl and played over 100 times for England is that enough ?” 

Drivers says “ no you thick c**T , where are you going !? ‘ 

Edited by kennysmassiveego
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What is the last part of your body to stop working when you die?
Your pupils, they dilate.
Just told that to my (nurse) Mrs:-

"I wouldn't know that because the first thing I do is close the eyelids"

Degree qualification I might add.
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