GordonD Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 48 minutes ago, topcat(The most tip top) said: “pas d’idée” is french for “no idea” and is pronounced roughly the same as “Paddy Day” You can laugh now Ne laisse pas la porte te frapper dans le cul en sortant 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 More French hilarity ... Why was the French chef suicidal? He lost l'huile d'olive. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 What did the French Admiral say to his crew at Trafalgar? A l'eau c'est l'heure... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 6 minutes ago, tamthebam said: What did the French Admiral say to his crew at Trafalgar? A l'eau c'est l'heure... I'll eat your little tiny legs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funky Nosejob Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 For those of us with only the basics of French ... I like mangetout, but I couldn’t eat a whole one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigBo10 Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 Man walks into a chiropodist and flops his nob onto the reception desk. Receptionist says “that’s not a foot!” Man replies “Are we really arguing over an inch?” 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker... But when I got home all the signs were there... 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 I told my boss I needed a pay rise and that three other companies were after me. Boss "Aye right, which ones?" I said "the Electric, the mortgage company, and the Council Tax." 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 On 12/09/2018 at 21:05, topcat(The most tip top) said: “pas d’idée” is french for “no idea” and is pronounced roughly the same as “Paddy Day” You can laugh now For those that didn’t need help with that here’s one for you Kim Jong Un a une jumelle Elle s’appelle Kim Jong Une Boot dans la tarte Merci 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 I went to my porn stars reunion yesterday. It was nice to come across some old faces again... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 DIY enthusiast goes into the library and says to the librarian "have you got any books on shelves" she says all the books are on shelves. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 Couple enter marriage guidance office and sit down. Councillor walks in and says: 'What appears to be the problem?' Bloke points at his flat-chested wife and says: 'Dolly Parton, here, reckons i'm too sarcastic...' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSP Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 Two dogs sitting in the living room. 1st Dog: "Want to hear a good joke?" 2nd Dog: "Yeh, sure. Go for it." 1st Dog: "Knock Kno..." 2nd Dog: "WOOF!WOOF!WOOF!WOOF!WOOF!" 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeeVanTeeth Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 Once when I went to see one of the Harry Potter films, I saw a dog at the cinema sat in the front row with his owner. Whenever there was a funny bit the dog barked. He whimpered at the sad bits and wagged his tail at the exciting bits. When the film finished, I had to talk to his owner and say how amazed I was that his dog enjoyed the film so much. His owner replied, “So am I. He was never that keen on the books.” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 If you had to choose between keeping Bill Gates fortune or ending poverty in Africa What colour of Ferrari would you choose? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 I was kidnapped by a gang of mime artists last night. They did unspeakable things to me! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Just been asked about my availability to take charge of a football team in Sheffield. I said I would be interested, but I can’t manage Wednesday. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 My mate is the biggest Beatles fan in the world. He's got every single they made except one. I think he needs Help... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 2 hours ago, jagfox99 said: My mate is the biggest Beatles fan in the world. He's got every single they made except one. I think he needs Help... My mate is a huge John Lennon fan and recently sold all his memorabilia on eBay. Imagine all the Paypal. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 39 minutes ago, IainMorton said: My mate is a huge John Lennon fan and recently sold all his memorabilia on eBay. Imagine all the Paypal. When Liverpool Airport was renamed after John Lennon they adopted the slogan "Above us only sky..." Somebody suggested that the baggage handlers should have their own slogan: "Imagine no possessions..." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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