Sujan Azad Parikh Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 When my coworker answered his phone, the confused woman on the other end asked, “Who is this?” “This is Steve. With whom did you wish to speak?” After a pause: “Did you just say whom?” “Yes, I did.” The woman replied, “I have the wrong number,” and hung up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanMc99 Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 49 minutes ago, IainMorton said: Just scared my postman by going to the door totally naked. Don’t know what scared him more, the fact that I was naked or I knew where he stayed. pervert 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 17 minutes ago, Sujan Azad Parikh said: When my coworker answered his phone, the confused woman on the other end asked, “Who is this?” “This is Steve. With whom did you wish to speak?” After a pause: “Did you just say whom?” “Yes, I did.” The woman replied, “I have the wrong number,” and hung up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 10 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: when did Putin morph into Spike Milligan? p.s. RASSP! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sujan Azad Parikh Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 After i-messaging back and forth with my wife, I jokingly commanded Siri to pass along this message: “You need to get back to work now; you have a husband to support.” Here’s what Siri sent: “You need to get back to work now; you have a has-been to support.” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 33 minutes ago, Sujan Azad Parikh said: After i-messaging back and forth with my wife, I jokingly commanded Siri to pass along this message: “You need to get back to work now; you have a husband to support.” Here’s what Siri sent: “You need to get back to work now; you have a has-been to support.” It's the way he tells them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutz_the_Squirrel Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 8 hours ago, Sujan Azad Parikh said: After i-messaging back and forth with my wife, I jokingly commanded Siri to pass along this message: “You need to get back to work now; you have a husband to support.” Here’s what Siri sent: “You need to get back to work now; you have a has-been to support.” THIS IS NOT FUNNY. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 8 hours ago, Sujan Azad Parikh said: After i-messaging back and forth with my wife, I jokingly commanded Siri to pass along this message: “You need to get back to work now; you have a husband to support.” Here’s what Siri sent: “You need to get back to work now; you have a has-been to support.” This joke has been sponsored by Apple. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 10 minutes ago, Nutz_the_Squirrel said: THIS IS NOT FUNNY. On 05/07/2018 at 12:10, killiepiemuncher said: I’ve been giggling all morning watching this...... The competition isn't fierce tbf. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 3 hours ago, Nutz_the_Squirrel said: THIS IS NOT FUNNY. You're right. It's very siri-ous. I thank you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killiepiemuncher Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 The competition isn't fierce tbf.You’ve no sense of humour laddo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Researchers have discovered that excessive masturbation can cause dyslexia. Hwoevre, tihs is olny in etxreem caess of slef aubse. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sujan Azad Parikh Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 “I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!” “But honey, what about our child?” “What child?!” “Oh, so you’re not pregnant?” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 Do you suffer from insomnia? Don’t worry, only three more sleeps till Christmas. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 On 7/18/2018 at 12:35, Sujan Azad Parikh said: “I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!” “But honey, what about our child?” “What child?!” “Oh, so you’re not pregnant?” Andy? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 I was thinking of having a tattoo, but I don't think I've got room for a pipe band in my garden. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mishtergrolsch Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Did you hear about the Aberdonian who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Jackie – put your hat and coat on lassie.’ She replied, ‘Aww Fergus that’s nice – are you taking me to the pub with you?’ ‘Nah, I’m just switching the central heating off while I’m out.’ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Or similarly, two guys in the pub. One says wistfully "Ah, my wife will be on the plane by now". "Is she going anywhere nice?" asks his pal. "Nah. She's just taking a couple of inches off the kitchen door.". 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 44 minutes ago, mishtergrolsch said: Did you hear about the Aberdonian who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Jackie – put your hat and coat on lassie.’ She replied, ‘Aww Fergus that’s nice – are you taking me to the pub with you?’ ‘Nah, I’m just switching the central heating off while I’m out.’ Similar joke told to me over here when someone heard I was Scottish: My neighbour is Scottish. I went to visit him yesterday and he was stripping the wallpaper. "Are you redecorating?" I asked. "No" he replied, "I'm moving house". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Did you hear about the Aberdonian who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Jackie – put your hat and coat on lassie.’ She replied, ‘Aww Fergus that’s nice – are you taking me to the pub with you?’ ‘Nah, I’m just switching the central heating off while I’m out.’Jim Royle likes this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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