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The joke thread: a thread for camaraderie and hilarity


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Is it just me or are jokes becoming less popular nowadays? There used to always be good jokes flying about and now when this comes up the only ones I know are from my childhood years, it's as if they're a thing of the past. I blame social media.

Anyway, Irish family sitting in front of the TV and the husband says to the wife "close your legs, the K-I-D-S can see your c**t"

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A duck walks into a library and asks, "Got any duck food?"

The librarian replies, "Ha, no, I'm sorry, this is a library, there's a garden centre just up the road though, they might have some"

The next day the duck walks into the same library and asks, "Got any duck food?"

"No, I told you yesterday - this is a library."

The next day the duck walks into the same library and asks, "Got any duck food?"

"Look, I've told you no twice already - if you ask me one more time then I'm gonna nail your f***in' beak to this f***in' desk, you got that?!"

The third day the duck walks into the same library and asks,"Got any nails?"

"Nails? Erm, no!"

"Good. Got any duck food?"

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A duck walks into a library and asks, "Got any duck food?"

The librarian replies, "Ha, no, I'm sorry, this is a library, there's a garden centre just up the road though, they might have some"

The next day the duck walks into the same library and asks, "Got any duck food?"

"No, I told you yesterday - this is a library."

The next day the duck walks into the same library and asks, "Got any duck food?"

"Look, I've told you no twice already - if you ask me one more time then I'm gonna nail your f***in' beak to this f***in' desk, you got that?!"

The third day the duck walks into the same library and asks,"Got any nails?"

"Nails? Erm, no!"

"Good. Got any duck food?"

And then he waddled away, waddle, waddle.
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